A lot of people spend time beating themselves up for the mistakes they have made ever as adults. With those thoughts looming, they probably cannot see their worthiness being present the way it was when they were younger. If this is how you have been feeling lately, let me say that you are always deserving of the best. Always have been! You are always worthy of every good thing. Always will be! You cannot do anything about it.
No matter where you are in this life right now and who you are today, you are worthy. Very much so. Things can get crazy in our lives and we feel like we have no control. We can feel old and aging, like we are failing…..doesn’t change your worthiness. No matter how many times we have been hurt, misused, or abused, still deserving. Even if you are the one doing the hurting, misusing, or abusing…you are worthy of more. Recognize that no matter how many times we have tried and not succeeded, loved with our whole heart just to receive nothing in return, broken our own hearts…You are worthy of every good thing. Always will be!
Since the day you were born, you were worthy of the best. That goes with you as you grow. It does not get dropped off with a failed business, friendship, or marriage. Your worth is not going to just hang out with that skinnier, youthful looking you that had no responsibility or hard decisions to make as a young one. Worth…your worth follows you. Grows with you. And guess what? We can do more with it now that we have more wisdom.
We have opportunities to love all throughout our lives. What we don’t want to think about is losing those people and things being a possibility. How do you feel about the saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”? When you hear it, how does that sit with you? For me, this is not always the case when I am in my feelings. I have to be transparent. After I have given my all and made plenty of sacrificing to be in a space, I am in a place of regret when it doesn’t work out. Not as often as in the past now that I am learning more about myself and how to function in a relationship. I just cannot say that I have never been in a space where that was just cool for me.
Are You Really Losing though?
When we lose something, we have to really take a deep breath and look at what we believe we are losing. I mean, are you really “losing” a friendship or relationship that leaves you feeling lonely or like you are not enough? Are you really losing when what you have been experiencing in that space never feels comfortable? Or maybe you are too comfortable so it stunts your growth. Are you losing when you finally realize that you deserve someone that doesn’t give mixed signals or make you feel like you are not being seen or heard?
I look at the things and people that I have “lost” over the years and I can see that many can’t be counted as loss for me. Yes, it hurt in the moment. Those are the moments when you thought you understood what you needed in that season of your life. Whether friend or lover, you did need something that they offered in that season. That something was needed to take you into the next season. You know that now…yet, back then, all you knew was that you no longer had what you wanted. We grieved the loss. Now it’s time to rise from those ashes stronger. With more wisdom and love for yourself.
Lessons and Blessings
Going through those experiences has taught us a lot. We would be loving ourselves a little extra by recognizing the lesson and moving forward with the wisdom. You can now see things what you DO and DON’T need to feel fulfilled in relationships going forward. Look…you also know what value you are bringing into the relationship, what impresses you, and what you can do without. Gems!
You are no longer walking around aimlessly, accepting any and every proposal of relationship that comes your way because you have no clue what you want. Knowing that you are worthy of the kind of love you desire and you don’t have to settle until you get it is real sh$t. Excuse my French! It just feels good to be that certain of yourself and oh the freedom….
Spending time with yourself and learning who you are and why you deserve every good thing there is…beautiful. If you have to, write it down and make it plain. What is it about you that is so great? You know why you are so amazing, put it on paper! Read it when you are feeling less that sexy, intelligent, or worthy. Remind yourself that you won’t be denied what is good. You know what you represent and who you truly are. No one can tell you that you don’t deserve what you are working toward. Whatever that is!
You Deserve It
You want to have high standards? Do just that and don’t worry about what they have to say about it. You do not have to give your time to people that squander it and deplete your energy. Love yourself. Protect that energy and time. Lord knows I used to be so bad at that. Then I had the audacity to complain about them asking for my time. Like I could not say no. When I took accountability for it, I stop blaming others and found my voice. Freedom!
The person you were back then, the person you are at this very moment and the one you will become will always be deserving, will always be worthy. You are always worthy of every good thing. Always will be! With every experience you have, even the ones that don’t feel very good, exposes your worthiness. They will not lessen your worth, ever. That is how we have to see it. That is what is true!
We try. Take risks. Win, lose, or draw, we are still worth it all. We are living and learning. Beautiful, worthy one, you deserve the best. Don’t let anything change that thought….that fact!