Have you been in a relationship for some time and it doesn’t seem to be moving forward? Not just a relationship, but a “ship” of any kind. It is just not progressing in the right direction for some reason. Have you thought about sticking with it? Maybe you thought about letting go because it no longer serves you. Do you trust yourself enough to do what you need to?

Sometimes we wonder if we are just making ourselves crazy by staying and hoping. I mean, you see it’s going nowhere and yet you dig your heels in and keep trying.

You need to make a choice! One that will be good for you. This is your life, after all. Trust yourself!

You need to ask yourself questions, the hard ones.

Have you done all that you can to no avail? Do you do all you can to show them that they are loved and supported? How is the communication? Are you intentional and flexible? Do you listen without judgment? Listening to understand and not just react? What about you? Are you the person that you need in your life?

Say What You Need

We have to be clear with ourselves first about what we want, then we are able to communicate those things to the people that we want in our lives. Can you actually say that you are transparent about what you want and need in your relationship? Friendship? Situationship or whatever it is?

If you can say yes and you know you are doing all you can and trying harder would make you insane, you may need to consider letting go. You know what, letting go is not always a bad thing. It doesn’t always mean failure. And even if you feel it is a failed experience, so much good can come from failure.

Know What You Deserve

You deserve to feel peace and have the energy that you really want in your relationships.

You should not have to convince people that you belong in their lives. No one should have to beg anyone for love, communication, commitment, support or partnership. Based on the energy you put in, your commitment to getting it right, energy and effort, you will know what to do.

As hard as it is to make a decision, especially when you have put in time and energy, we have to love ourselves too! We can feel what we feel for them but it should not be more that how we feel about ourselves. Making the decision and acting on letting go is self love. It really is! Feel what you feel about it then see yourself on the other side of it. Will you be a better you? Do you see your growth and will you be able to trust yourself in the next “ship”? We have to trust ourselves and know that we will do what’s best for us. When it is time to choose you over comfort, money, stability, or just plain old company, will you do it? Will you choose you?

There is peace in knowing that you will be taken care of, even if you are not choosing the easy way in. You did not give up, you showed up for them…and now for yourself.

Maybe You Haven’t Given it Your All

There is also the fact that maybe we have not given it our all. Maybe we give up easily because our expectations. We just let things flow and hope for the best. Let things happen. This sounds like a horror movie to me now but this was me at some point in a relationship. Submission in the worst way!

When we realize that we have not really been an active participant in the success of the relationship, we need to get right! That is, if you really want to be there. You see the energy that the other person is putting in. They are communicating and supporting, loving and making an effort to understand you. The least you can do is match their effort or let them go to where their effort are appreciated.

We play a role in every relationship that we are in. We need to be honest with ourselves if we are not all in. Perhaps we are not transparent about what we really want. There is always the opportunity to change what we are doing, therefore changing a negative consequence in the relationship.

It Is All Up To You

Show up, communicate, support, and be present in the relationships that you want in your life. If your energy isn’t at least matched and it feels like there will be no growth, don’t be afraid to make changes. Whatever you decide to do, trust that you know what is good for you.

It is never a negative thing to do what is best for you. You have to take care of yourself too! How you do one thing is how you do everything. Think about that and make sure that you are cared for by you. You show others how you need to be treated and cared for. Be an advocate for yourself.