Right now, it is so easy to feel lonely. I mean, we are dealing with some messed up circumstances! You may be lonely because you have not been able to go to the office and be with your coworkers. We haven’t been able to meet with friends, and if you were in a “dating people” situation before the pandemic, life may not feel so great right now.
Feeling lonely does not mean that something is wrong with you! This has become the norm for many of us.
I have been trying not to attach my actions to my feelings, especially the ones I label negative. Boy, is that hard! Many of us tend to think that something is wrong with us when we have feelings like loneliness. Some of us may feel like we need to do something to “fix” ourselves. Allowing our loneliness to overcome us, could have us jumping into a situation that makes things bad. Something like saying yes when our bodies are saying no to an activity or person. We may even find ourselves getting into a “situationship” with an old flame.
We All Feel Lonely Sometime
Each of us have times in our lives when we feel lonely. All of us!
The feeling of loneliness can make us settle for things and people just to “cure” the loneliness. They can make us end up in even less favorable feelings than what we started with. We don’t have to be distracted by making ourselves busy or even running to the ex to feel a little less lonely. Don’t do it!
It is ok for us to miss someone or everyone at this point. I will say this though; we should not make decisions out of our emotions! We could end up in a worse position than we think we are currently in. Keep your standards high loved one!
We really have to work on being ok with ending things that were not officially ended. Do you get that? Some situations just don’t have textbook endings. I mean, do any of them?
There are times when we have to create our own endings when they are not given to us. We may have wished that we received an apology, a conversation, or some kind of assurance. Beloved, sometimes we have to realize that this is not going to happen. So, give it to yourself…create it!
Grieve The Loss
The grieving process for the end of a thing is different for everyone. We may miss the routine and presence of a loved one. You may miss the company, the sex, or good times that one gave. Honestly, you may not be over them completely. That is ok!
Set into motion the process of closure, whatever that is going to look like for you. The bad habit, the person, the negative thing is out of your life now for whatever reason. Someone called it done so it is time to move forward. And let’s not look back unless it is to see how far we have come.
Just don’t let the feeling of loneliness cause you to repeat old habits…or people that did not serve you. You deserve closure and if you want it, you need to steer clear!
We owe it to ourselves to first remember why that chapter of our lives is done with. Then we need to take the lessons from the chapter and make things better for ourselves going forward. That lesson puts you another step closer to succeeding. At the job, in your talent/career, in the next relationship, wherever life is taking you next.
You have to trust yourself. Trust the journey that you are on. Trust that you will create the closure that you deserve.
We have to raise the standard that we have for ourselves. Letting loneliness or any other “negative” feeling drive us to do things that we normally would not do is us…settling. Settling is never a cool feeling for me. I hope it doesn’t make you comfortable either.
The feeling of being lonely is not a good one. It may make us feel tempted to fill the space with something or someone that we are already familiar with. And for a moment, it may make us feel good. I can tell you that this has never been the right move for me. Not sure it will be for you either. It is never the right decision to make moves out of a temporary emotion.
Remember the standards that you set for yourself! If you aren’t already, GET strong enough to be good on your own. Use your superpower and honor your personal standards.
It Will Not Be Forever
We have to look these feelings in the face and know that they don’t last always. Temporary!! Know that there is also nothing wrong with you having those feelings. It is normal. Just stop there! Work through them alone or with some support but do not go back to what comforted you. There is a reason those things ended. Figure out why. Move forward in your new power.
You are strong. Brave. Intelligent. A winner. Move forward with that truth. IN that truth!
I don’t think that anyone who has gone before you believing in themselves ever regretting the truth about themselves. I am sure that they regretting reaching back for things and people that hurt them before only to be hurt again. Trust yourself. Believe. Be your own Hero! You will not regret moving forward.
Fast forward in your mind to see you in a few months. Are you happy about your decision to let go the loneliness and the things and/or person that made you feel that way?
Love on yourself. Create the closure you need to move forward in your power.