Relationships are important. Do you feel like you don’t make good decisions when it comes to your relationships? Want to know what a true soulmate looks like?
A true soulmate is more than just the qualities you have on your list of must-haves. That checklist is long but I am sure we missed a few things. I know what you have on there. Let’s see…
- 6’0 or taller? athletic? adventurous? God-fearing? An Aries?
- supportive, honest, loyal, a communicator
- financially stable, ambitious, funny, down to earth
Did I come close? I know that list goes on and on…
I am just saying, there is nothing wrong with being specific about what you desire in another person to partner with! It really does show that you know something about yourself and what you think you need in your life. You believe you know what you are looking for and what a healthy relationship would look like in your world.
Every once in a while we need to step back and ask ourselves…
Does this person inspire me to be better? Challenge me to be more complete?
This is not just for your romantic relationships, it is for ALL of the “ships” in your life. Too many times we let people slide into our lives and stay way too long and we have declines in our happiness and well-being because we don’t have the heart to protect ourselves. Anywho…. I got off track! lol
I mean, we are going to meet someone (or we have already met someone) who is going to check a lot of boxes. They are going to have it going on…they are going to motivate you, be kind, spoil you and be supportive…they may even say that they love you. Those are some of the things we should want and we should settle for nothing less than that..especially if they are being honest about it.
In my relationships experience…I need those things…but there is more!
Soulmates inspire us to be better…push us to be whole.
We should not be out there looking for someone to complete us. That, to me, is a lot of responsibility to put on someone and the relationship will not last, especially if you do not think much of yourself. I remember seeing relationship quotes or sayings that talk about two people completing each other. I believe two whole people come together to make one bad-azzzz relationship. No one wants to get with someone so that they feel like a complete person. Things happen. Who are you after the relationship is found to be toxic or not what you thought it was? I would not want anyone to have that kind of power in my life.
At the end of the day, a relationship is still about you. You need to be complete and sometimes we need a push to get there. If you think you have found a true soulmate, you will see them push you to do just that. And you will have the desire to do the same for them….gently, of course. That is something that we should be looking for in a romantic partner or a good friend.
The person you choose to be in your life should be someone who supports you, loves you, is kind to you …most of all, they should do all of this with so much conviction and energy that your only choice is to desire to be better and level up…not just for you, but for them.
Be with someone who love you so unconditionally that they make you want to love yourself the same way…and vice versa…period!
Having someone like that in your life makes you have no choice but to continue to move forward and work on being whole and complete is gravy. That “soulmate” will cause you to want to prove yourself and them right in that you are capable of doing, achieving, and becoming all that you desire…
That is what a soulmate does for you!
Instead of going back and revisiting that checklist every time you meet a new potential to check off what this person is offering you, look at them for what they can add to your “becoming”. And if you can add to theirs. Let’s not waste time! Do you inspire each other to become the best version of yourselves?
My checklist was not just for a romantic relationship, it was for my friendships and coworker relationships. I was once that girl that was looking for all of my relationships to somehow define and complete me. I was a really bad quitter at one time in my life and let people “take” what they needed from me as long as they stuck around. That was exhausting and I learned from those failures so much more about me and what I needed to know about letting go and making room.
I no longer rely on anyone to make me feel complete. I now enjoy the people that have compassion and truly care for me. It was the very thing that I need to see how important I am and to look inside and be the best version of myself for me and those that truly love me.
When people show up in your life that push you to want to become greater, never let them go! They are rare… When you discover someone love you passionately and supports your hustle with so much energy that they make you start pushing harder for yourself and fighting for your success, keep them!! Shout out to the people in your life that cause you to be more passionate, impactful, creative, strong, educated, and driven…those are your people!!!