Taking This and Leaving That!

2019We are here…standing right at the end of our year, 2018. It was an interesting year, that is for sure. It did bring a lot of heartaches, but it also brought some of the most beautiful moments of my life. I have learned so much from so many new “friends” and experiences and…I am so thankful for the additions and subtractions of 2018.

I know a lot of people are making New Year resolutions, but I stopped doing that to myself years ago. I do not want to keep promising myself things and breaking the promise at the next available moment. It is important to me that something changes every year; that I grow in some way toward being a much better woman. 20192

Our homes are full of things that we have collected over time. Whether we brought those things in, or someone stopped by and dropped them off, our homes are full or both what we need and what we can live without.  Just like our hearts and minds…full of things we can use going forward and those other things that need to be discarded in order to be lighter on our feet going into the new year.

There are so many treasures in your “home”. Think about it, the happy endings, the belly laughs, the new relationships/friendships, the sweet intentions you had for others and others have had for you…all of the YESSES! You have had times when you were kind to yourself, fought and stood up for yourself, have shown your strength and tenacity and have attempted with success to be good to many people. When you think about those things, these are the things that you should take with you into the new year.

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On the other hand, we have a whole lot of mess in our “homes”. We have the things that are obvious and those things that we have swept under the rug. No matter how much we have swept and dusted the common areas that everyone can see when they come in, we have clutter!! Clutter that we hide in the closet, under the beds, in some dark corner or attic. Let me jog your memory…Do you remember all of the negative things that you have said to yourself this year? What about the ugly things you have done to yourself or you allowed others to do…you ate some bad food, over-worked, under-slept, and you allowed people to treat you like less than you are worth and/or be toxic toward you in your personal space. Let’s leave these things behind and move onward and upward!!

20194Now, I am not saying completely clean it all out because we don’t want to get rid of the lessons that came with all of those negative things, We have some memories that we are now fond of, qualities and characteristics that were earned the hard way, and plenty of lessons we need going forward. We have to take our time and sort through, think through it all and keep what will be beneficial.

It is time to face this new year with excitement and motivation. Sure, you can make a new year resolution or two….or twenty. Just make a promise to yourself that you can work with daily, for a long period of time. Take it one day at a time and put you first every once in a while. After that “home” of yours is cleaned up, it will feel bigger and will have room for what 2019 is going to bring. Be aware of everything and live with intention. Try not to miss a thing!!!

Blessings to you and Happy New Year!!

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Good Friends Show Up

showingupFriends are an important part of all of our lives. We all need friends, but we need to be selective about who we allow to get in that inner circle. As I have grown older , it honestly has been harder for me to make friends and keep them as my life gets busier. I mean between homeschooling my son, working in the salon business, planning events and travel, and deliberately scheduling some self-care, not to mention taking care of home (children, bills, cleaning, cooking, etc) I am pooped! With all of this going on, a friend’s support is of the utmost importance. Sometimes the best friends are not always the ones that we have known the longest, the ones we party with the hardest….sometimes the best friends are the ones that decide to show up. For real!! For me, this is the most important quality a friend can have. I don’t just want that kind of friend in my life, I also try to be the kind of friend as well.

Showing up…..for the weddings, the birthdays and baby showers, the plays, the graduations, the hospital stays, the disappointments. I have always tried to be there even when I have a list of things that I need to get done because what is important to the ones I love has to be important to me. That is friendship. So I will do all that I can to show up.

helpinghands1I know that I have days when the weight of my world is enough to deal with and I do not know where I get the energy to get as much done as I do. Don’t ask me because I do not know…Thank you  Lord!! I manage to summon up the energy from somewhere and things get done…and some things do not. For me that is OK. Even in my busyness, I attempt to show up..those moments matter the most to people who love you. Showing up is what solidifies the friendship and they are going to make better attempts to show up for you when you need them. Just so you know, eventually it will be your turn to need someone to show up for you so remember that when you are turning down invites.

I have often been surprised by who shows up for me and who doesn’t. You can show up for someone time and time again and then when you need them, they let you down. On the other hand, there are people that I have blown off many times and they are the first ones to show up for me. So what I am doing is learning to weed out the ones who keep letting me down over and over again and hang on to the ones that keep showing up. Putting these relationships in the proper perspective helps to keep the possibility of being let down from happening. I want to be around people who enjoy my company as showingup1I enjoy theirs. I am an introvert so I really do guard my time. Part of the change I want to make for this year is to say no to things that do not matter so that they do not deplete the energy I need for the stuff I want to say yes to. Quality over quantity is what it is about for me. It has made for a quiet year so far but that is OK. I have a brand new planner and I am going to fill it up with things that I have always wanted to do and people that I want to do it with. Sometimes we have to reduce “friends” down to a manageable amount for us so that we can have the time and energy to give to maintaining the quality friendships. Be honest with yourself too. If there are friends that you have resentment for, you need to ditch them! Seriously! Resentment is a deal-breaker in any relationship because it can make life harder. Serve good to yourself and rid yourself of the drama.

showingup2Communication is important in any relationship. Without it, things are not going to work out. When we think about our friends, of course we hope that they are showing up to the weddings, milestone birthdays, or a loved one’s funeral. We have other things that happen in our lives that may not seem as important to them that can be overlooked and  cause friendships to be strained. In these instances, we should tell our friends when something is really important to us and if they still do not show up, over and over again, just move on. Life is really too short to keep people in your life just because they have already been there so long. Show up for those you love and the ones that show up for you.

New Year…Same fabulous me!

newyearsameme2Yes it is a new year and we are all looking to be greater. Lose lots of weight, read more, get financially fit, travel more, open a business, write a book, or erase all of the negativity in our lives. New year, new me is all I keep hearing. I used to say that but then I thought about it. Why do I want to be a “new” me? I love me…just want to better. I am absolutely fabulous!! Not perfect by any means and I definitely need improving but I don’t want to be a new me. I am working to build onto the old me. Working to be a little more fabulous. Not each year, but as I think of new ways throughout the year, I will continue to build.

Building on to the old me is about getting up in the morning and making the decision to live my life and follow my dreams with no apologies. Whatever it is that you want to do to make your life a little better today, do it. Whether it is making music or singing, an art masterpiece, creating a budget that works, or starting your own business…let’s go! Get to work. That work is whatever needs to be done to get closer to your dream. I know that I feel so accomplished when I can look at my day and see that I am one step closer to

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Same beautiful me…Only better!

seeing what I have been dreaming about. It is a Blessing to be able to just see another day but…what are you going to do with it? Accomplish something everyday! EVERYDAY! That is what matters because that is the proof that we are moving forward.

Do something…make something! Stop just telling everyone about it. Don’t be satisfied with just having a dream.

We are all dreamers and really if you don’t have a dream, you are just existing. Just breathing and that is not cool, in my opinion anyway. Letting life just blow you where it may is scary. I mean, the wind is unpredictable and it can be cold, why would you trust it more with your life than you trust yourself(and God for that matter)? Making those dreams a reality or at least trying to see if they can be is living! We have to work our a***s off to get those dreams out of heads and it truly will be worth it. I am working pretty hard to research and get my blog out in front of others and my other business as well. It is cool to do something to work toward our goals but we also have to BE the someone who does something.

newyearsameme1Every single day, we need to do something. It is cool to have a day off of work and decide to do nothing all day every once in a while but who can really do absolutely nothing all…day. Nothing?

Don’t just write your book, be the author of that book. Don’t just start a company, be the founder. Put more that just your foot in it. Life is really all about what we do every day. You can think about what you want to do, but if you never DO, you will never feel like you have accomplished anything. Work does not always feel good, especially while you are doing it. The work is important though, it matters. We cannot only work to be somebody; we have to focus on doing the work. I want to be special. But I want to do special things, accomplish bigger things more that I want to be special. I don’t know about you.

I listen to a lot of people talk in my profession and the same conversation is happening every visit with a lot of them. Talking about what they want to do, who they want to be. If every month I see you, the conversation is no closer to the dream, what is the point in talking? I cannot take you seriously if everything is a conversation…you have to do something! Sheesh! Eventually all of the lip service you are giving people will get old and we are going to want to see some proof. That includes yourself telling others (and you) IMG_0720about what/who you want to be. Seeing the work you have done is what makes others take notice. If you want respect, you have to do what it takes to earn it. I haven’t seen any ads in the Sunday paper (I am a young couponer) with anyone giving respect away and you cannot buy it.  We have to earn it. Work on the things that matter and put you closer to what you talk about doing/being. Everyday you put a little more effort to do the things that matter, you will earn the respect that you feel you deserve.

Set real goals for yourself, short term and long term. Do what you love instead of worrying about who you are trying to be and what people are going to think about it. DO SOMETHING! I am determined to get out there and make many things happen. I am going to do things that I enjoy and things that get me closer to my dream and every once in a while this will be the same thing. I believe that if I am focused on doing something more than being something, I will see more of what I dream actually happen. That is the path that I am choosing for my 2018. What are you up to?

Let it Go, Let it Goooooo

letitgo3As this year comes to a close and I sit here thinking about the ups and downs of it, I see how much I have learned and I am extremely thankful for it all. 2017 has brought about many changes and I have been transforming into the amazing woman that I am working toward (yes, I said it just like that!). When you look at back at January 2017 and who you are this moment, are you excited about the change? I know that I am. I have to admit that this year was a very challenging one for me. I may have experienced more ups than downs… but honestly, I am not sure. I just know that I have definitely made some huge strides toward a better me and more beautiful experiences. YAY ME!!!!

It is always up to us to create space in our lives for positive experiences and positive attitudes even when we experience things that are not so positive. A new year is upon us. A new chapter, new sheet of music, however you look at it, we have another opportunity to use what we have learned to be better and surround ourselves with better…people, things, and experiences.

Some things I have learned in 2017…letitgo2

  • To pause and breath when dealing with difficult people and choose how I want to respond to them, without apology.
  • My body needs healthier foods…I found myself eating whatever way too many days and my health was affected. I made things better but I do not care for health scares at all! I am definitely going to exercise more consistently to help as well.
  • I need to avoid “friends” and acquaintances that take advantage of me. Adding to that the ones that are disrespectful and disappear at their leisure.
  • I need to put more time into the relationships that are an even amount of give and take of respect, kindness, care, and support.
  • I refuse to be pessimistic, complaining, critical, or self-sabotaging. Nor will I live with regret.

Now these are not new year resolutions or anything. I learned a lot and these lessons are going to help me go into the new year with less baggage, but I have started that process already. My past, our past is not going to define us. We have to see what happened as lessons. We have to release the negative and take with us what we need to continue on our journey to our best self.

IMG_0720Now, I will share my biggest lesson of 2017. I believe we are all good at thinking that we know how to respond to others. We are all willing, at this time of year, to reflect on the things that we want to change in the new year; all of the things and people we want to let go of as well. Something that I battle hard with is letting go of negative self disapproval, judgement and criticism, anyone else? I am truly my worse critic and none of the people that gossip about me can beat me in that arena! I mean, I forgive people at the drop of a hat knowing that they are going to “rinse and repeat” because they know my forgiveness comes so easy. I can forgive them…why not myself just as easily? I am not being an ass when I say that no one deserves my patience, kindness, forgiveness, and belief in my ability more than I do, no one! I am sorry, but you don’t!

I know that whatever I have done in this life, I have done the best that I could at the time and learned what I needed to learn. Now that I know better, I am doing better. That is what life is about right? Growth. Change is inevitable, growth is optional. Growth is sexy! There, I said it (heeheehee). Let us embrace our lessons and bring them with us as we grow…sexier!

Release……..Let it go!!! (I can’t even say that without singing that song! OMG)

Clean it all out. All of the clutter that blocks who we are, who we want to be. No more baggage, bad feelings toward yourself or others, self-doubt, and just the general drama that we allow to ruin our days…let it go!

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Most people use this time because it marks an obvious clean slate, a fresh year, to make changes but we can do it whenever we want to, remember that! We can have a time of cleansing and clearing whenever things get overbearing or we feel like we are stuck, going through the motions.

 

 

Let’s leave the past in the past. Don’t keep thinking about it or reminding others about the past. Good riddance!! Your future is waiting for you with endless opportunities for growth and happiness, if you choose. I am choosing!! That is for sure. Clear the junk! If it does not serve you, you do not need it. That has been a huge lesson for me this year. The more I let go, the more beautiful things are.

Who do you want to become this year?

Cheers to you and your clean slate! Happy New Year!Letitgo