Tag Archives: meditation

Comparison Can Bring You, Joy, Too!

goodcomparison4Sometimes we watch people “come up” and the green-eyed monster shows up on our shoulders making us wonder why they are getting the things that we have been longing for. Friends are getting new jobs, new lovers, getting engaged or married, having babies, buying nice things, becoming famous, getting promoted and/or getting recognized.

We can look at what is going on in their lives and not feel negative emotions. It’s possible! You can admire what you see happening in their lives without questioning your own success. Economists and psychologists call it downward comparison.  If you compare upward about things you can’t change, then you’re just going to feel stuck. No Bueno!

Comparing ourselves to others does not have to be an unhealthy, negative practice. It doesn’t have to be self-loathing or full of jealousy. Comparing yourself can be goodcomparisonproductive…say whaaaaaaat?!

There are pros and cons to this thing right? It is not good if we are trying to gain a sense of superiority or avoiding challenging yourself to do better. Or comparison can remind us of our own fortune…it serves as a reality check.

It can motivate us, give a different perspective, and make us appreciate our lives.  Comparison can lead to some incredible breakthroughs.

I know this sounds completely unusual. The internet and popular opinion say that we should stop comparing ourselves to others. There are so so many articles out there that tell you why you shouldn’t compare…and I agree with their points. This is just another way to look at a comparison.

goodcomparison1Honestly, we should definitely delight in the success, well-being, and growth of our loved ones. A little comparison can cause a light to go off in your head…your life and motivate you to not only aim higher but to put some action to it. Celebrating others and comparing may help us see where we are,  how far we have come and that we should be celebrated too. It can show us that we are worthy of more and push us forward.

When you see others win, you realize that you deserve more too, that you can grow as well, your time may come later but you are still worthy of your heart’s desire if it lines up with your destiny.

This is something that I have been working on for a while and it really has kept me on goodcomparison3track. I do not have envy in my life. I feel good about who I am becoming. I spend less time being self-deprecating (not all the way there yet- this will be a long journey for me) and it feels good to have less negative emotions flowing through me.

After comparing yourself, you may look yourself in the face and affirm your values, your own worth, and even bigger, what you want out of life.

In the book, Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holidays says, “Stare at it until you can. Only then you will understand what matters and what doesn’t. Only then can you say no, can you opt out of stupid races that don’t matter, or even exist.

goodcomparison5Stare at it…

Look at it…

Soak in it…

Own your feelings! The more we look at other people and compare our movements with theirs, we will look at where we are and where we wanna be. You will understand what matters to you and what doesn’t. You will learn your worth and act accordingly…

I Need To Slow Down!

slowdown1I am always trying to make sure that my schedule shows me and my world that I have things going on…I need to slow it down! Really! And I do know that I am not the only one so…

Repeat after me.

Good things take time so you can slow the f%$# down! Excuse my French (shoulder shrugs)

Good things are not the only things that take time, everything takes time…life takes time.

The more I realize this, the more I have been letting go of my cluttered work schedule and telling myself that I should be in “this” place right now in my business, finances, relationships, my life period!

I am in the process of letting go of those expectations. The more I let go, the happier I amslowdown3 and I am really seeing how a person can just live…and do it without regret. I also ignore the expectations that others have on me and oh what a relief it is!

Slowing down…slowing down and trusting the timing…putting it all in God’s hands.

I am making peace with the fact that I do not know where this blogging thing is going to take me. Making peace with the fact that only God knows what is best for me. I am making peace with not everyone will like me, listen to me, that my timing is sometimes very weird, and that my life will not always meet my expectations.

slowdown2I am patient, that is definitely true. I do not mind waiting for what is truly mine. Waiting does not mean that I am not driven or hungry for what I desire. To me, it shows my strength and resilience and wisdom! Waiting can be empowering and I am sure (because it has started happening with me) that beautiful things happen while you wait for your heart’s desire. I learn something with each moment I wait. Those lessons give me more opportunities to grow. The longer I wait, the more capable I feel that I am and the more likely I will end up where I belong…..where I belong… I belong nowhere,  I belong everywhere! Anywhere! So I keep moving forward…with patience.

“You only are when you realize you belong no place- you belong every place-no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” Maya Angelou

So what you are not where “she” is in life, or you do not make as much money as your brother/sister/cousin/best friend. You are not behind in this life. You are not a failure! You are not lost! You are just you…and your life has its own timeline. My oldest son and Islowdown talk about this all of the time. He will be 26 this year and most of his childhood friends are married (some have been more than once) and have children. He is working, getting ready to go back to school for his Master’s and engaged to his high school sweetheart and dare I say that they are waiting until marriage before they engage in all that produces a family. He used to talk about how behind he is in life and questioned his journey. I always encourage him to not measure his life by the decisions of others in their lives. He should continue to love what is happening in his and be proud. He should understand that we all do not move in the same way, we just move forward making decisions that are hopefully good for us as individuals. Comparison is the thief of joy. Your journey is unique to you and only you.

Honestly, you have to believe that everything will come together in the end.

Sometimes we have to take a step back from our BIG picture and take a good look at the little things along the journey that we can do right now that will get us there and make us much happier, fulfilled and successful people. slowdown4

 

5 Things We Need To Stop Saying

mindset4“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” -Buddha

This is something I have really had my mind on lately! I have been working on thinking about what I am thinking about. It really makes a huge difference in my day…my attitude about what is happening for me, what I am doing, how much I am actually getting done. I work on not spending much time with what Joyce Meyer’s calls “stinkin. thinkin'” daily.

So what mindset shifts have I been working on to get things rolling so I can feel more fulfilled in my life? These can actually happen without physically changing anything in your life.

STOP Saying…

  • I will do/be (blank) once I have (blank)- We have to stop thinking that we will mindset2change once we have the results that we want. I don’t know about you but to me, that is almost backward thinking. To get the results we desire, we have to change the way we are thinking, our words, and our actions first. So we should change this statement to I need to do/be (blank) so I can have (blank). It is truly our beliefs and actions that create our circumstances, not the other way around.
  • Everything is either negative or positive- We have a habit of polarizing situations. In reality, everything is really balanced. Every situation that we experience is neither positive or negative until we attach our emotions and feelings to them. We do not want to be super negative, but we also don’t want to be overly positive either. That will make us overly naive and we can miss some warning signs, and maybe even attract negative situations to our lives in order to balance things out. I have been working out looking for the benefits and lessons, also the drawbacks in each situation and trying to understand that everything is really neutral.
  • mindset1I can’t- The quality of our lives can be determined by the quality of our questions. We need to stop looking at our skills a being limited and start framing our thought to be “how can I?”. Don’t say “I can’t afford that…”. Instead ask yourself, “How can I afford that?”. We have to work on rewiring our brains to ask how things will be possible instead of focusing on what is lacking. Speak opportunity!
  • This is happening to me- This was actually a hard one for me. I threw myself pity parties a lot in my earlier adult years and looking back, I would have been so annoyed to be around me back then. I have been to counseling a few times since then and I can remember one of them telling me to change the “to” in that phrase to “for”. This is happening FOR me! When we say it the other way, we are giving our power away and victimizing ourselves….WOW. When we change it to this is happening FOR me, we are showing gratitude for the experience (even if we do not like it) and we look for the opportunity and blessings in the experience. As soon asmindset we hear ourselves saying something that puts us in the victim role, we have to reframe our thinking about how the event is serving our well being.

These are really simple things that I am working on and I know that it is going to take some time. We have to train our minds and when we stop working on it, we will see ourselves slipping back into our old habits. We have to work daily to rewire our thought patterns. I am constantly reading books, listening to podcasts, talking to like-minded people, saying daily affirmations, and meditating to reinforce the mindset that I want to have. Work on one at a time. Knock one down and work on the next. Slow and steady wins the race. Life is not a race but a marathon; rushing through may cause you to quit before you see the real benefits.

And GO!

 

 

Tell Me How You Really Feel

howifeel4Question… What do you really think of yourself?

Do you love yourself? Do you think highly of yourself? Are you pleased with the way you think, act, speak, and look? Seriously, do you like the things that make you who you are?

I am asking because I recently had to ask myself those questions and when I thought about it, I kind of shrieked a bit! I am really big right now in getting to know myself and I was wondering if you know how important that is for us all. Yes, getting to know you is a long, drawn-out mission that is going to take you the rest of your life…it is, after all, part of the reason we are here.

How we see ourselves is a big part of what tells us how happy, frustrated, angry, or pleased we are in general.

We are complicated people, but do not give up on getting to know yourself! I mean, whohowifeel2 wants to just wake up and float through life, not standing for anything, or having a goal to push through and live out their dreams. I am all about going for and doing what you love. What is the saying? “Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.” That is my goal. God wakes me up every morning…my dreams are what get me out of bed to chase them in order to live a beautiful life and leave a legacy for my children. If you do not know yourself, waking up is probably a chore and eventually, you will dim your inner fire, that thing that gets you out of bed.

I don’t know about you, but I wanna know myself…everything! I want to understand what makes me tick so that I can make the choices that get me to a place of happiness and I can have a fulfilled life. I am still working on getting to know myself like I said, it is going to take a lifetime. I am learning that what has been helping me grow the most has been spending time alone. It is something that I need to do more often. I know…yeah, yeah, that does sound cliche, but seriously, it’s a must-do!

howifeel1Are you even comfortable being alone?

I know a few people that cannot stand to be alone. They have to have company until they fall asleep, they have to be on the phone with someone, in a room talking with someone, almost like they can’t stand the thought of spending time with the most important person in their lives…them.

Are you comfortable with just doing your own thing? just being alone…with just you and your thoughts?  Sounds kind of dangerous depending on who you are I’m sure but alone time is BOMB! It affords you the opportunity to really get to know you, while you are being your authentic self.

When we spend time with other people, we adjust who we are. We may not realize that that is what we are doing, but we do, even if it is ever so slightly. We filter ourselves based on who we are with. This means we do not always say what we mean or mean what we say…maybe we do not end up doing what we really want to do either. We are just not always ourselves…except when we are alone. When we are alone, we are free! We think, and express ourselves just the way we want to. We take time to reflect, we think about what we love and what we do not care for and we do it without interruption.

When we spend time alone being ourselves, we gain a sense of responsibility. We carehowifeel3 for ourselves, listen to ourselves and realize that being a little selfish is not a  bad thing. We also get alerted to our own bullsh*t. When you are alone and that alarm goes off that tell you that you are not being yourself. The more time you spend alone, you can train yourself to stop filtering your thoughts…and train your brain to listen to everything and ignore nothing. Everything is important!

I am indeed a social butterfly when I want to be. I love planning trips, going to parties, have fun weekends, and going out with friends..I just know that I need to do my thing too, alone. I need that time…to do me, no pressure, no agenda.

In time, you will value that time, trust me. I used to be somewhat of an extrovert, but as time has gone on and I have gotten older (and wiser, of course), I really value time alone. Now that I have been enjoying that time alone, I have truly developed my bulls**t alarm and I pay attention to what I really need and want and adjust what I do and say.

So hang out with the ones you love but get alone every once in a while so that you can learn to hold yourself accountable for taking care of that very important person in your life…you.IMG_0227

Trying something new! Crystals

pink gemstone

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So I told myself that I would be trying a lot of new things this year. I want to conquer my fears and answer some questions this year. I want to learn as many things as I can learn and stop saying the words “I’m sorry” because it’s not true (I will go into that one on another day).

Crystals have been used throughout history as a source of healing power. The ancient cultures have used crystals and precious stones for clearing and transforming energies, spirit, and physical, along with the alignment of the body. The Mayans, the Egyptians, and the Sumerians were some of the ancient cultures that used crystals as adornments for the body and buildings.

close up photo of person holding crystal stone

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It seems like the information about the healing properties of these crystals and stones have been forgotten by many but there has been a recent surge of interest in them again.  I am always down for a little more ancient education so this is one of the new things that I am going to try.

How do they work? Ok, so the entire universe is made up of energy. Even solid objects, like this chair I am sitting in, and the hair on our heads, at the most basic levels, are vibrations of energy. That means that crystals are made up of the same kind of energy.

Crystals are in a lot of things like our quartz watches, the components in our computers and smartphones, even in our medications! The crystals and stones are used to heal everything from migraines to anxiety and more. I read in my research that healing crystals can accelerate your medication practices, align your chakras ( we will be visiting this one soon as well) to name a few things. There is no limit to the healing you can get with the right crystal or stone and the right application.

There are 3 ways that crystals and stones can transform your energy and resolve your

accessory amethyst birthstone bright

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imbalance

  • Clearing. This happens when the crystal absorbs and removes certain types of energies from your body.
  • Energizing. They can also push energy into your body, mind, spirit through inducing resonant frequencies, the way electricity works…except crystal healing does not cause pain and is not dangerous.
  • Balancing. Sometimes our energy is out of balance, and certain crystals help to balance out areas of energetic disharmony.

There are a few ways to use healing crystals. You can wear them, meditate with them, Sleep near them, place them in your home or car, or using something called a healing grid (I don’t know about all of that).

Now I did also read that because the crystals were somewhere absorbing energy before you received them, it is good to “cleanse their energy” and align it with yours by soaking then in purified water, salt water, or holy water. And be sure to clean your crystals after each use.

Now for some samples…..

White/clear crystals are very absorbent. They are perfect for learning and cleansing any type of energy. Examples are Quartz, Moonstone, and Selenite.

Brown crystals and stones are grounding, meaning they guide, protect, and clear. Use them when you are trying to make room in your life for a new job or relationship. Some examples are Tiger’s Eye, Halite, or Petrified wood.

accessory art beads beautiful

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Blue healing crystals are all about openness and communication. These can be used when you are looking for truth to be revealed or finding your own truth. Some examples are Sapphire, Sodalite, Angelite.

Violet is one of the most powerful colors of our color spectrum. It combines warm and cool and vibrates at a very high frequency (of course, it’s my favorite color!). Violet crystals are perfect when you need uplifting and can induce a spiritual experience or call on a higher power to guide you. Examples are Amethyst, Iolite, and Sugilite.

Pink makes us think about romance and love. It can bring about loving energy and compassion.  Pink also deflects anger, which helps to draw in romance or just cause you to feel the love.

Black is for protection. The black healing crystals deflect everything. They are strong so if you want to repel any kind of energy at all so you can use them to drive all negativepexels-photo-682952.jpeg energies away from you.

Indigo is calming and brings soothing energy your way. It will help you to cool out when you are carrying anxious, fragile energy. Some examples are Kyanite, Azurite, and Lazuli

Green is for balance. These have been used for physical healing. Too much of anything can cause illness in our bodies and green healing stones are said to redirect our energies and balance them out…hence balancing your body. Some examples are Jade, Emerald, and Malachite.

Orange is soothing and energizing. The healing stones release negative energy and clear out a room for a boost of energy. They are best used when you are feeling down. Examples are Copper, Sunstone, and Aragonite.

Yellow is great for reorganizing your energy patterns. When you are thinking about trying to instill a new habit or even breaking an unhealthy one, think of using these sunny gems. Some examples are Amber, Sulphur, or Mookaite.

Red healing crystals have a lot of energy. I guess if you think about red warning signs or stop signs. The color red invokes a surge

red candle

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of energy. SO when you need a pick me up, reach for your red gem instead of that caffeine.

 

I don’t know which ones I am going to try first but I definitely want to find out how well they work. If you have already tried them or are currently using them, please leave a comment on your experience and I welcome any opinions of course about the practice. I can’t wait to find out how this ancient practice can help this girl and her mind, body, and soul get lined up…….

to be continued………

 

 

A Simpler Me

SimplemeI used to think that I had to fill up every moment of my day with “stuff”. Didn’t matter what it was, but to feel like I had something to do, I would stretch myself and fill my schedule just so I can look busy. Now that my boys are older…I am older, I truly crave a simple life. I think we all should look to do that. Our children and parents will be older and we will look back and wish that we had spent more time loving and less time working and looking busy.

Simplifying my life is gonna mean that I have to say no to some things and people so that I have space to breathe. I am going to have to do less. I have learned that having a bunch of things to do does not make me any happier…just more tired and sometimes irritated. This year, I am looking forward to finding joy in the simple things like a walk by the lake or enjoying a cup of tea in the backyard. I am normally pretty content with solitude, quiet and just being in a moment…I just need to do more of that.

simpleme1Life is going to bring frustrations, disappointments, and stress with all of the busyness we have going on but we should learn to let go of what we cannot change, take a deep breath and relax. Release some of the things that we tend to that are not truly our “business” so that we have time to live a less complicated life.

 

A simple life. This does not mean that we sell everything we own and move into a tiny house or move to some far away land. We have to think about what we are thinking about. Does it serve you? Will it make you better? Those things that our minds are fixated on that just give us more to do and less time to love and appreciate ourselves…yeah, that can go!

How can we do this?

We have to think about the fact that a lot of times, we create our own struggles. We have simpleme2to say no every once in a while and take the time we would have given away to someone else and just take a walk, a bath, read a book, or absolutely nothing at all. We also have to work on losing our attachment to stuff! (and sometimes people). We are all getting our homes ready for a new year. Throwing away things that we really don’t need to take with us forward. If you are attached to living a certain way, sentimental items, or doing things all of the time, you will not be able to clear the way for the things you really need to enter your life. Make room for what will serve you by getting rid for some of those comforts.

I am going to leave some gaps between things I do as well. I think if I add a little padding, and not cram as much into my day, it will feel less stressful. Because I try to get as many things done as I can do in one day, I hardly leave time for regular maintenance like preparing dinner and putting on clothes so my day feels rushed from the beginning and nothing gets my full attention…and now I am upset because I do not have the time I thought that I did to do it all. Creating space is going to allow me some time to do things I need to do without the rushed feel. I may even get to have a meal between clients! On top of that, not giving so much of my time to distractions (like my phone) will help open up some time that I can use to just be quiet and create a new mental habit.

simpleme4I have read a few articles and blogs about mindfulness and it is something that I have been practicing for months. I love it! It truly works and has helped to make people feel important in my presence. Ok, so imagine that no matter what you are doing, you are doing it in full-screen mode. That means, like on your cell phone, you do not have 5 pages open at the same time, switching between them all. You are full- screen mode washing those dishes or reading that book, having dinner with the family….sounds hard right? It is really not though. It does have to be practiced because we are so used to doing 100 things at a time, especially as a mom. Just do that one thing…ONLY… at a time. It definitely feels less stressful and more memorable. Things get your full attention and get completed with a little more love. You can actually savor the moment! Try it with the ones you love as well. Those moments feel so much more meaningful when your full attention is on them.

What would my life really be like when I decide to do less and try to enjoy it more? I would have time to really enjoy what I love doing, the people that I love being around.

What do I love to do? I love reading/writing, walking, taking nature pictures, meditating, spending quality time with the ones I love, shopping, and vacationing. Most of that cost nothing but time! That makes things even simpler. No wallet required!

So practice doing nothing….and get good at it! I know that technically we are always simpleme4doing something but you know what I mean. Just sit there and do nothing. Don’t accomplish a thing! Do not take care of anything or anybody…nothing. No planning, reading, watching anything, no chores, eating..not a thing. Feels good right? I know you are itching to move but don’t. We are exposing our mental habits and that a good thing too. Think about what you are thinking about. Let go of what complicates things. We are going to have to practice this and things are going to be so much more simple then.

I am sure that there are tons more ways to make life simpler and I will be searching for more. I want my later years to be much better than my younger years. The more we practice being still, the more time we will have to find the beauty in ourselves and our world.

Crystals…to heal? I’ll try it!

crystalsI have really adopted meditation in my morning routine and I have been reading about all of the different methods of better mental health out there because I am not one to pop pills for every little thing. I came across an article about Chakras and healing crystals and I found it interesting enough to want to give it a try.

Ancient cultures used healing crystals and stones to align, clear, and transform their energy, spirit, and physical health. Now lately, my energy has been great…it has been the people around me that draw from my energy and I am over it! I know that I have to start avoiding people or eliminating them from my life, which I have been. The Egyptians, Mayans, and Sumerians would adorn themselves with jewelry and other buildings made from crystals. They knew back then what these crystals could do but modern culture has forgotten about crystals as a healing technique until recently.

How do crystals work?

Everything in the entire universe is made up of energy. The energy in crystals, depending crystals6on the crystal, has healing properties that are even occasionally used in medications. And just like magnets attract and repel, healing stones use energy the same way. Placing a crystal over certain parts of your body will cause your energy to transform, vibrate, pulse, move, or shift in accordance with the properties and energetic signature of the crystal.

What type of healing can you expect? 

Crystals can be used to heal migraines…anxiety… many things! Crystals can also accelerate your meditation practices and/or align your chakras. With the right crystal or stone, from what I have read, there is no limit to the healing benefits.

There are 3 primary ways healing crystals can transform your energy and resolve imbalance.

  • Clearing— crystals can absorb and remove certain types of energy from your body (haha, kind of like the people I know).
  • Energizing– crystals can also push energy into your body, mind, or spirit through inducing resonate frequencies. This is similar to electricity- conducting and transferring energy into an object/person. Unlike electricity, it is not painful or dangerous.
  • Balancing–Look at our bodies. For the most part, we are pretty symmetrical. Sometimes our energy gets out of balance and using the appropriate crystal or stone can help us to be balanced and get out of energetic disharmony.

After reading and really getting ready to see if the crystals can do what I read about, I am finally ready to take this on. Research and development!! So the stones I am going to use are…

  1. crystals1Amethyst. It is said to cure hangovers and drunkenness. I don’t have these issues but I threw that in there for free (smiles). It also helps in connecting people to their spirituality. Amethyst clears the mind, brings clarity and tranquility and works with the upper chakras.
  2. Rose Quartz. This one is said to be the love crystal so of course I am crystals2jumping on this one. It helps to attract love, protect relationships and heal your heart. It also helps you to recover from pain and disappointment and balances your heart chakra.
  3. Iron Pyrite. Deters negative energy (gonna purchase a giant one crystals3of these!). It activates your intellect and memory. Strengthens your self worth and willpower and promotes positive thinking and business success. Alex, order me 100 pounds of this one please!
  4. Tiger eye. This one helps to maintain and grow wealth. It helps to crystals4create understanding and awareness. It is said to be very effective when you are feeling stressed so it would be great with meditation.
  5. Hematite. Ok, when I read that this one helps to ground and crystals5balance you, I got excited! I need that so bad with the 101 hats I wear on a daily bases. It is used to center and calm you and clear away negative feelings. It treats anxiety?! Whaaaaaa?. SO yes! we are going to try this one as well.

The way to use them is to hold them in your hand during meditation in your sacred space, carry a crystal with you in your pocket or purse, place them on your body, use them in your home as part of the decor, or during a spa treatment.

crystals7This is really just a few but I do want to see how and if they work. Many people swear by them, just as many do essential oils so I’m in. I will have to do a follow up post on what I think about crystals and the ones I chose to try. If any of you have used or are presently using the crystals are stone, feel free to share your experiences and favorites ones to use.