I used to be more outgoing in my young adult years. I wanted to be around everybody. I wanted to have get-togethers every weekend…now…not so much.
As time has gone on and my focus has been more on raising productive members of society, I have turned into somewhat of a hermit. I rarely shared my life with anyone, especially anything that I was feeling. After you have someone betray your trust, you stop giving it away so freely. I really have become a serious introvert due to past hurts.
I am definitely not saying that I am unhappy with how things are now because in these quiet days, I have learned more about myself and I have fallen in love with this woman right here. I am motivated now more than ever to see my successes and my dreams come true. I know that I deserve it…I did not always feel that way.
Opening up? Not many people want to do that. Many of us hold back…we don’t say what
we really feel. I am guilty of being like this. As I mature, notice I didn’t say as I get older because age hardly matters, I have begun to express myself and not hold on to it and complain to someone else about the experience.
We need to give ourselves the room to say, “I am sad…lonely…tired. I am scared of this. I am feeling insecure about that.” We need to open up! I mean, not to everyone of course. That would be crazy. I just can’t see how it will benefit you to tell everyone you know your personal business, especially if they are not a prayer warrior, encourager, or cheerleader. Everyone that is your “friend” is not always your friend. I learned that young and early. But anyway that is another blog post.
We are going to be living our own lives and we should just be who we are with no apologies. We need to live it with our whole real, authentic, kind, crazy, soft, funny, hurting. loving selves…why keep it in hiding?
Do you hide who you are because you are afraid of being hurt? Afraid of not being understood? Afraid that they will see you as overly sensitive or emotional? We need to worry less about what others are thinking and more about what will make us feel whole; happy. It is time we live our truth. I will say for myself, that it is time I live my truth…out loud! I have to take up the space that I want to without worrying about comments from the peanut gallery. You should too!
Now, you have to ask yourself how long you are willing to wait to be who you truly are. How long are you gonna stay away from the real you?
There is a plan for your life. There are people who are meant to be permanent fixtures for you, and experiences that you are meant to have and all will make you into a better person. It is true! We cannot continue to shut ourselves off from those people and experiences and miss seeing the best part of us revealed. We are not going to get to meet or get closer to those people or have those experiences if we stay comfortable. 
With this new year approaching, I am ready to make some changes but I am not waiting for the clock to strike 12 to change them. I want to be the woman that I am meant to be. That means that opening up, loving people, being real even with the chance of rejection are risks that I will have to take. I am willing to be broken again in order to be remade and willing to lose to make room for my wins.
We should all want to get to the place where we can talk openly about what scares us, what hurt us, how we are feeling, and what can heal us. When someone asks us ‘How are you?”, we should be able to answer honestly and not just give that common answer.
When we open up, we allow ourselves to be…to change and to grow.
We all have hearts beating that let us know that we are alive. Every person or experience that we hand our heart over to is not going to return it in the condition that it was given to them. Know that! It is going to beat a little different. Whether the experience is seen as good or a bad one for you, your heart is affected and it never would have been had you not allowed yourself to experience and feel. We have to be grateful for the opportunity to feel the experience and grow from it. Use the experience for good and become a better you. It’s a beautiful thing!
We just have to allow ourselves to be ourselves. Whatever it is that you are….silly, weird, funny, loving, freaky, or quiet…be yourself!
I wonder how most people would feel if they had nothing to hide. Imagine peace…
I have to make sure that for myself, I am surrounded by people that will not be judgemental or weirded out by my realness, my past, my present situation, or where I am headed.
I hope that you can find the same peace in those around you…
So I am sitting in my closet looking around for something to throw on to run to the store for ingredients to make the icing (yes, I want a cupcake or two…or 24!). I doubled back to this set of drawers that has the jeans that I was wearing last night laying on top of it. Does anyone else have a “laundry spot”? I mean a chair, table, spot on the bed or whatever that they put their clothes that are not dirty “enough” to wash but you don’t hang or fold them up? Guilty!
What is your next move?
Sometimes we do not face issues because we just do not know how to approach them. We do not know where to start. I cannot tell you what to do or how to do it, but I can tell you that pushing it to the side will not make things better. You cannot just pile all of your questions and issues into a corner. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to think about some actions that we can take that will help us get to solutions. Take those actions and if we fail…think of another possible solution.
For me, that is the first step to overcoming my issues. I have to talk to the people and do the things that make me nervous or scared because they usually are what I need to face my issues. So, whatever those actions are, do them. Whoever those people are, talk to them…soon!
I’m on vacation right now and in my down times, I’m reflecting on Cher. I always use my vacation for this and last time I didn’t make one promise to myself so I went home and jump right back into the rat race that I created.
and the promises we make to ourselves…we can control all of that. The promises we make to ourselves center us, they give us confidence and a destination.
I promise not to complain. Some of these places I’m visiting have people with little means and they are so happy. I have no right to complain with all of the blessings I have seen in my life.
Before I found my Peace, I used to be a control freak. Yup, it’s true!!
Finally, one day it hit me(over and over again) that I do not need to have complete control over everything in my life! And honestly, I have accepted that not everything in my life needs to be controlled. There…I said it. Even better than that, not everything warrants our energy or a reaction at all.
above it all.
confidence that all will be ok. When you are at peace, you still have thoughts, things still happen…you just don’t react to them. Of course, you may respond to them but responding and reacting are two different things. Don’t let things consume you. Don’t give your energy away to overthinking.
I don’t know why, but self-worth is a confusing thing to many.
There are people who will chase that dollar down so that they can get all of the things that “Joe” has and prove that they should be valued. They are out there flexin’ in that brand new car and living beyond their means but eating Oodles of Noodles at home alone.
you say and do matters. You have the ability to make an impact with just your presence before you say or do anything at all.
Knowing these things and putting them to practice has really helped to center me. What you see when you see me, is someone who is the product of all of my experiences thus far. All of my experiences, upbringing, and personality quirks all wrapped up in one hot mama! The more experience that I gain, the more value is added to me. The more unique I also become.
Everyone has been on a “positive vibes” kick as of late. Most of us are pursuing a more positive life. We want more welcoming and optimistic people and experiences in our lives. ( both hands raised)…
If you allow doubt to win in your head; if you allow that voice to be so loud, there will always be a negative outcome waiting to happen in your life. You feed the negativity, it just gets bigger and spreads like the plague.
matter to me. Approaching life with more positive “what ifs” than doubt will train your brain to return to a positive place more often. You will be more positive when you have decisions to make, problems to solve and opportunities offered to you.
No matter how much I have accomplished in this life, I know that I am capable of achieving so much more. I am capable of finding what it is that I am looking for…even if I am not quite sure what exactly that looks like right now. I am definitely capable of being happier than I am now, capable of having the right people around me that add value to me. I am learning myself and understand me more thoroughly and I am capable of being the best version of myself, the one that hides nothing, whose confidence glows and she who exudes beauty, empathy, and purpose. That is my mission…what I am adopting as my philosophy. I wake up like this…with this on my brain.
myself, I have to behave in a way that allows me to do so. I had to get to a point where I would be free of expectations, the pressure of commitments that make no sense and negative people.
your truth is…and how you want to live it.
I started small and just showing that little power has affected me in some big ways. Boundaries are powerful and you will grow more consistent and aggressive with them.