Let’s Get It Started

LetsgetitstartedI cannot tell you how many bright ideas that I have had that have yet to pass the starting position. I am honestly quite busy but I know that I have the time to put more than a thought and a journal entry into a few of those ideas. I admit that I try to put as many things on my plate as I can so that I stay busy and it can make a girl crazy! The things that I do attempt get finished, it is just that I am completely worn out after them and I have little time for anything else. Time management and learning to say no are going to be at the top of my list for the New Year, that is for sure.

I have a new planner on the way and goals that I have set for this year are going to see me as a more organized and accomplished being (giggles from excitement). I have been using my meditation and quiet time to map out a vision board and this girl is going to see plenty of good in the coming year. How am I getting there? What is the plan? I am evaluating my past attempts and experiences and making the changes from there. I have learned a lot from previous choices and I am ready to make my goals a reality. Let me share with you what I have learned…letsgetitstarted1

  1. Enjoy what you are doing or trying to do. It sounds simple enough but many of us end up spending most of our day doing things that we do not enjoy. Why do we do that? When you have an idea….for anything at all, you are more than likely going to find yourself hitting a few dead ends. That doesn’t mean that you need to quit altogether and go back to doing what you are comfortable with. We just have to step back and find another way to get there. Everything that we do will not always go well all of the time; we just have to love the process of getting to where we want to go as much as finally getting there.
  2. Be in love or fall in love with your ideas/goals/dreams. You know what they are! The things that I am working on are definitely things I am passionate about. You know, those things that make you so excited you can burst from the inside when you are thinking about them or make you so full you want to cry when you visualize the moment you realize you did it. They are part of your purpose and they are the things that make the rest of your life a little easier to deal with. The thought of what that idea/goal/dream can be should give you the motivation to push forward and forget about quitting until you get there.
  3. Mind your budget. Depending on your idea, this budget has the potential to get out of control. Budgets are crucial and I work on doing one for everything…sometimes. There are times when I hit the mark and others, not so much. Seeing a budget helps us to measure our goals, making them more tangible. Numbers help us to see if and when those ideas can become a reality with what we have on hand. If you don’t see enough resources, you can be creative with what you have before looking for outside sources. If you are like me, you want to do things yourself, which is another thing that I learned about.
  4. “No man is an island”. We know that saying and for some of us, we are working on letsgetitstarted2believing that (my hand raised). It is very rare that we have all that we need within ourselves to accomplish our goals. We need help! And so what if others know we cannot do it alone. We have to network. There are few things that we can do without meeting others who have been there so that we see those dreams of ours as a reality. Talk to people that are where you want to be or read about their journeys. For the most part, there is a person or a group that is already doing something similar to what you are trying to do and not getting paid for it.  Join them and bring value to the people that you are meeting with. If you don’t find that group, create it.
  5. Prepare yourself for change. I am not one of those people who have to see things done the same way every time. I am very spontaneous and flexible. I think that is part of why I do not get worked up when things do not work out. It can be frustrating, don’t get me wrong, but it will not completely knock me out. Embracing change is not a strong point for many but it can save anyone a lot of stress if they learned how. It is best to not get fixed on things happening one way. A new way of thinking or doing things can be refreshing and can set things on a greater path than you originally planned.
  6. Tell the world! This one is huge for me because I am not good at this one. I am a quiet person when it comes to sharing who I am and what I am doing. I have no idea why I am such a private person (yet I started a blog, right). Maybe it is because I have problems trusting that the people I know will actually support a project I have or maybe I have a problem with rejection. I am not sure and I do have issues with both of those at times. I am learning that I have to go outside of my circle for authentic support and be bold and confident in what I am doing. If I don’t believe in it, I cannot convince anyone else to. I know that I have to be ready for all types of feedback and advice and I am. I also know how to weed out the good from the bad and keep it moving. Feedback is important for a lot things that happen in our lives but we cannot get caught up in the opinions of others. We also have to know that we should not worry about things being perfect, nothing really is. We just have to be careful not to just share any ol’ thing with the world. We have to give our best at the time and work on improving things from there.

letsgetitstarted3Whatever it is that you are planning on trying or doing in the upcoming year, do it! Do it afraid. Do it with boldness…just do it! If you are like me, you may be tired of creeping your way to the place you want to be. Tired of letting someone’s opinion make you back away from the idea. Get in your quiet place and make a plan, set a goal, journal your dream. Get ready to have the time of your life on a journey to everything that you want to do/be. Celebrate yourself with every small accomplishment along the way. Love on yourself with every little failure as well. Write it down…make it plain…get it done!

Early Bird Does Catch The Worm

EarlybirdOne of my clients gets up every morning at 4:30 to take a walk or go to a class at the gym. I don’t even think that my body will know what to do at that time. I know that I would get a lot more done if I got up early. The few people that really know me, know how much I already do in a day….I do not need more time. I know that I would fill it up!!! Lately I have been thinking about being over 40 and attempting to get somewhere near optimal health. Yes, eating right and exercise are important, but I learned while going to a nutritionist that sleep plays a huge part in being healthy. I was a night owl so this is going to be a challenge. Staying up late has always been a part pf me winding down because after you put your children to bed, it is finally quiet. It works for me to be up when no one else is so that I can get thing done when no one will be in the way. I do want to try to see if there are any improvements that can be made that will benefit my health. I am going to do the switch for 30 days to see if it will be beneficial for me and my family. I looked up some benefits of being an early bird. Food for thought…

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  • It is QUIET! There are no children running around or making noises. The peace and quiet I wait for at night can be accomplished in the morning. Getting time to myself is important. Time that I can use to read, have my tea, think and write (night time antics include win instead of tea, of course).
  • Enjoying the Sunrise. When we get up later, we miss the amazing sunrise. Nature gives us calming feelings. There is something mesmerizing about watching the darkness turn to light and your electric bill is not affected. Looking at all  of the beautiful colors that occur as the sun lets us know the day is beginning. I love the sky so that one alone is motivation to get up.
  • You can get an amazing start. If you get up earlier than you need to be you can have time to get things done without stressing. I normally get up later and I have to scoot my young people along so that we will not be late. I have a son that is not a morning person at all so he walks around grumpy and upset when we do this. I think I am doing him a favor by letting him sleep but it really does not help. Getting up earlier will help me get what I need done without having to rush.
  • Have time to get your thoughts together. Because I have started doing some meditating, it would help if I got up earlier to first of all give thanks for the day. We have to feel Blessed for the opportunity because we all know someone that went to sleep and did not wake. So time to be thankful for just waking is important to me and for me. I can get my thoughts together and call on some positive energy to take with me for the day. I want to be a fountain not a drain to those who encounter me so this will be an even bigger help.
  • Breakfast! The most important meal of the day. I know that but I m not going to lie….I do not DO that. I know that I will enjoy sipping on my tea with a devotional or good book early to help to begin my day right.
  • Exercise…. I have to admit that even though I wake up late, I do get a walk in in the morning and it helps to bring energy to the rest of my day.
  • My commute is better. I know that my drive to work will be a million times better if I am not trying to catch all of the green lights so I can make it to work before my client gets there. I know, shame on me. I’m growing!
  • Time to think. I have so many things that I want to do and have to do. I have goals! I have a planner and I am always in it. If I get up earlier I can have time to preview my day so that I can be effective without being stressed. I can plan our family appointments and  get that out of the way early and make sure that we can get there early. I always tell my oldest son that if he is getting to work at his scheduled time, he is late! Everyone needs time to breathe in between the events in our lives.

Now to the hard part, figuring out how I can get this done without crying every morningearlybird1 when the alarm goes off. So here is my game plan….

The first thing that I have to do is move my alarm. I will hit that button so quick your head will spin. It has to go on the other side of the room. When I walk over to turn the alarm off, I am going to work on NOT going near my bed. You know what happens when you get close to your bed and  you are still tired…..yup!

I know that i am also going to have to attempt to go to bed a little earlier. If I stay up late, I will not be able to function when that alarm goes off. I am going to need to come up with a routine that helps me fall asleep without surfing the tv. Reading in bed might help or a good foot massage…any takers? lol

I am thinking that I am going to make the change small so that I can actual feel a little success every day…or week. We will see. Cutting back will help me reach my goal. It will not be 4:30 that is for sure but I will give myself at least another hour or two in the morning.

I know that I will definitely feel better in the mornings. Enjoying that extra quiet time alone will help me to gather my thoughts and be more productive throughout the day. Getting this jump start will be great because I also homeschool my youngest jedi and he will appreciate a fresh mommy teaching instead of the slow-moving-you-can-have-cereal-for-breakfast mom/teacher. He loves when I rarely wake up to do a hot breakfast with everything he can imagine. If I do that more often, I can be awarded the title of

earlybird3MOM of the Millennium!! What mom doesn’t want that?I just have to make sure that I stay away from my phone once I wake up because I may end up wasting time seeing what happened on social media while I was sleeping. The whole point of this is to get more done and have less stress doing it. There are so many great rewards to getting up early and I want to enjoy them and see what it is like to not have to move 100 mile an hour to do everything because I didn’t get up early, then procrastinated throughout the morning.

 

Tea Time

tea timeI used to feel like I got cheated because I did not have a daughter when I felt like I was done having children. I wanted 3 children because for some reason my life always included that number so it feels pretty lucky for me. I wanted a GIRL!!! I mean why not? Growing up I was a little on the tomboy side but after becoming a mom, I began to embrace my diva and I felt like I should have a mini-me. I did not receive one and I am definitely not bitter about having the young royalty that I was given, but it would have been nice.

tea time2I was given the pleasure of being a godmother to a sweet little girl a few years ago. Not my mini-me but my sweet little sugar cookie nonetheless. Spending time with her is fun. Little girls are so different from boys!! Boys are easy. I just throw my boys around a little and play some sports, watch a few cartoons and play video games. With girls, you tend to not be as rough and I had to learn how to play with dolls and little kitchen sets. Of course with my sons, I look for teachable moments in it all. I don’t want them to think there is ever a time when I am not being mom…even when we are hanging like friends. I do the same with her when we spend time together.

Anywho…I finally decided to give my little goddaughter a birthday party! I wanted it to 6EA34977-59AC-4E9B-B429-9DBB4E87C888be all about her but still have a god-mommy (or Cookie, as she calls me) stamp on it so Tea Party theme is what it was! I am a planner as far as things like parties, vacations, and such goes in my life so I started the planning 5 months before her birthday. I wanted to pull out all of the stops. I did all kinds of research because I did not have a tea party as a young girl, nor had I ever been to one.  I wanted to do it for her….my sugar, so she could have an experience that I did not have as a child. (I also wanted to do it for me!!)

The planning was fun!! Looking for everything tea party! I was online looking at IMG_8682Pinterest, on Amazon and in the thrift and antique stores searching for my pots, cups, and other things to decorate the party just so.  The menu, the drinks (appropriate for young girls), tea pots, tea cups….cucumber sandwiches! I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun party planning is. This one, in particular, took me back to being a little girl and the innocence of being a princess, and remembering to be soft, feminine, and pink! Everything from the invitations to the party favors were all about being elegant and girly. Their party favors were decorated boxes that had candy, white gloves and pearls. I had parasols and hand-made flowers everywhere!

Being feminine is a gift that we should give our girls, our own and the ones we are IMG_8653attached to. We have to remember to be soft and feminine too, even though we have to stand strong at the same time. We have to remember that we have curves and emotions,  we are delicate and beautiful. We have to have and be all of these things and be confident and bold enough to demand our respect and honor all at the same time. We cannot allow ourselves to be walked on and stepped over.We have to own our flaws and dare someone to say that we are not what we say or think we are. Prove it!! Walk and talk like it, speak like a lady and smile

IMG_8683at that beautiful face when you look in the mirror as you admire the beauty you see before you. Every curve…every crazy emotion, how soft and feminine you are. Someone was made to love every inch, every emotion, all of your femininity! Your job is to love you first!! Show the world that you love you by treating you like a princess, a queen in fact! Show them how to do it! Teach them what is acceptable and what is not. Know that you deserve the best, the very best. You make your world better simply by being you and being present. I love being feminine. It was easy when I was dressing like a tomboy, but there is nothing like putting on a dress and seeing how it brushes passed all of my femininity. IMG_8679I love being a woman! It is not easy but it has been a pleasure to bring life into the world and be responsible for rearing human beings.  We have so much power, even in our softness. We can make or break us and/or them, remember that! Embrace your femininity every once in a while. I know you are running around after children all day or working in a career field that does not call for it, but you will have a day off. Don’t stay in your pajamas all day. Take a shower and get dressed, something sexy, even if you are staying home. You will feel sexy and your spouse will enjoy seeing those legs before we get to no-shave November. I am just saying…I practice that one!

IMG_8772If you have little ladies in your life, teach them to love their hair, their softness and crazy emotions.  Embrace their femininity and not to be ashamed of their curves. Self love is paramount in raising confident women that do not attached themselves to someone that may possibly abuse them, physically or otherwise. Be the example. Embrace yours…watch them follow.

 

 

You Don’t have to Hate on Anyone Else’s “Snapback”

Ever since Beyonce had her babies, I have been seeing lots of posts and memes about her “snapback”. Yes, the girl is looking good after dropping two beautiful babies into the images (3)world, but so do you! We all have different shaped bodies and there are very few of us that go right back to our pre-pregnancy size right after giving birth. Some of us have super healthy pregnancies and spring up out of the hospital bed and run a mile in the hallways, others of us may get drug around for the next 3-4 weeks because your offspring had to be cut out of your body. The average woman does not look like they had a plastic surgeon on standby after their delivery. We should celebrate our unique little “snapback” because we brought life into the world and survived it. A few more stretch marks and love handles does not mean that we lose our “hot mom” status. Giving birth can be like going to war depending on what happens in the room so those are your war scars. And if you were stretched out of your normal shape, it means the war goes on a little longer to get the snapback results your desire for yourself.

When you are worried about your snapback, make sure you are doing it for you and not for people to have something to say about it. People are going to talk about it whether you are you…or Beyonce! If you feel good and snapped with your thick thighs and big booty, ROCK IT! If you prefer to be smaller, work on it, but rock the body you have and know that you still  have it going on.

download (5)Having low self-confidence can hold you back from being your best you and pursuing your dreams. Those women that everyone is hating on for their “snapback” after birth are using the “hate” to continue to propel themselves into the positions they want. They aren’t really worry about their haters, they are using them.  We all face self- confidence issues at some point in our lives, we just may not think of it in those terms. And if you want to be the best you that you can be, you cannot compare yourself to others, it is a definite confidence killer.

When we talk about snapback, it is usually referring  to your physical body after giving birth. I was thinking about my snapback and how very little I had after giving birth to my last son, physically anyway. I wasn’t happy with my weight and I struggled for a long time to try to look like that 20 year old of what seemed like decades ago. While working on myself, I thought about all that I went through in that pregnancy and in my 2 previous ones as well. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally. BOY, MY SNAPBACK HAS BEEN REAL!! See, it’s not just your body to me… it is your state of mind, your emotions…your life. Some women never feel the same again, even after regaining that sexy bikini body back in a week. Some women get postpartum depression and never come out of it.  Some women lose their minds and their world gets turned upside down. None of that happened to me. None of that happened to a lot of you either. See…… girl, you have snapback too!! Your external may not be lining up with the internal and other people can’t see it, but you know. You know how you are feeling. You know what that pregnancy did to you emotionally and mentally. You couldn’t remember images (4)anything, couldn’t laugh or sneeze without peeing a little, crying about everything and nothing. Look at you now! You are on top of things (or at least almost) and feeling as close to normal as your definition is…. go girl!! Look at your snapback!! Can’t nobody tell you anything. I know they can’t tell me anything…because I am not trying to hear it.

Now how are you going to treat yourself so you show off your snapback to the world and get them talking about you like they do Beyonce?

  • Groom yourself. A shower and shave can make a world of difference in your day.
  • Dress Nice. It can be casual, just get presentable, the world is your runway.
  • Think positive. Change your thoughts, great things will happen. Replace the negative thoughts.
  • Spend some time with you, alone. Get to know yourself, find out what you really like, what makes you happy.
  • Act positively. Don’t just think it, be it! Action is the key to building self-confidence .
  • Stand tall. When you stand up taller, you feel better about yourself and you may feel (and look) a little skinnier in your photos.
  • Set small goals and achieve them. The more small goals you achieve, the better you will feel and you will be more confident when shooting for the bigger goals.
  • Focus on solutions. Do not be a complainer, it is not sexy! This helps you become more confident and people do not mind your company.
  • Exercise. Looking for the physical snapback? You need to get to work, even if you just take a 30 minute walk a few times a week.
  • Be grateful. Gratitude is so huge in my world. I do not have everything I want but I am so very grateful for what I do have now…including my not-so-snatched body.
  • Smile. Smiling always makes me feel better, and beautiful for that matter. It helps you to be kind and causes a chain reaction. Smiles are so healing for someone having a bad day.

IMG_8475Your snapback may not look like what the celebrity news would report, but it is significant….YOU are snapped! Snatched! Whatever you want to call it… Whether it is your body, soul, or mind…or all 3, you have snapback! Embrace what you have and work on the one you want. It is just that simple.

Celebrating Entrepreneurs: Kayla Lee

I met Kayla a few years ago when she came into the salon to get her hair done. She is a beautiful young lady with a whole lot of drive. She has a lot of ideas for making money as a college student and she goes for it every time. I watch her move on what she talks about and it keeps me going when I feel like being lazy. I wanted to feature her on my blog because she can be an inspiration to all of the young people that are bold enough to go for what they desire. She has a part time job and she is a full-time student. Kayla also has a YouTube channel and has decided to open an internet store selling not just eyewear, but other accessories. All of her links and contact information are at the end of this post. So I want to share my little friend and entrepreneur with you…. Ms. Kayla Lee

 

IMG_85261. My name is Kayla Lee & I’m 23 years old. Currently, I am a senior at the illustrious Fayetteville state university, with a major in biology. I recently started a business called YummyEyewear. I always wanted to start a business, I realized that I was great with sales & customer services from previous jobs so I decided to brainstorm. I remember walking  into a hair store & I began trying on eyewear. I realized that my style is very versatile so I decided to start a business that involves fashion.

2. One of my biggest accomplishments at the moment is getting a 3.0 gpa in college as a biology major. College is a place where you can either fail or succeed, it’s all about your approach. Starting a new business, I would like this to be my newest accomplishment. I can my business expanding in the future.

3. I am most proud of the way I go after things. Once I get an ideas I have to try it out. I’m very passionate about everything that I do or contribute to. As a Leo(I’m into zodiac/astrology)we are natural born leaders and we are very ambitious,even if I don’t succeed at something I can at least say I tried & didn’t give up.

IMG_85184. Success can be defined in many ways. I believe success can happen to anybody, as long as you apply yourself it can happen. Nobody has a blue print on how to be successful, it’s just all about taking chances. If you see an opportunity that you believe will be successful, go after it. Don’t let fear get in the way of success.

5. I believe that anything is possible. It’s all about the amount of effort and work you put in. I started a YouTube channel 3 years ago. When starting off I didn’t have all the fancy tools to edit & record but I never let that stop me. I believe if you work with what you got it could blossom into so much more. I take the quote ” I got a dollar and a dream” serious. Don’t let anything stop you from believing in your dream.

6. My why would be, “why wait”? Waiting on money? Start of with affordable products & build up from there. Waiting on conformation? Ask some of your closes friend & family if you need reinsurance. Waiting for the right time? It’s always the right time when it comes to living out your dream. No more waiting, just go for it. Start off small & watch your dreams unfold right in front of you.✨

7. My summer beauty tip would be to stay moisturize & hydrated. The summer heat can be crucial sometimes so lather up with your favorite sun protectant & grab a ice cold bottle of water & take on the day.😊IMG_8527

Contact info:
✨YouTube: Glamkay1
✨YouTube email:glamkay1@gmail.com
✨Facebook:Glam Kay
✨Twitter:Glamkay1
✨Personal Instagram:Nikelle.l
✨ Business Instagram:yummy_eyewear
✨Business email: yummyeyewear@gmail.com

Just how normal is normal?

via Daily Prompt: Substandard

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Looking at how our world is today, it seems hard to really be able to define what substandard is. There are as many differences in us all as there are crayon colors and we are all going to have our own opinions about everything. You cannot define substandard unless you know what the standard is. So what do you consider standard in dating, for example? If you ask the person sitting next you, their answer will probably not be the same as yours. As a matter of fact, you can have a room full of people and probably will have just as many different “standards”. Because we have different upbringings and different experiences in our lives, we are going to have different standards, therefore there will be a different substandard.

To me, substandard is what I have decided not to accept in my life. With all of the things that I have been through, I just want to work toward having a fulfilling life. While going for what I want for me and my family, when I see people, things, and experiences that I feel are below what I believe we deserve, I do my best to avoid it or them. I am no better than anyone I am definitely not going to say that, but I am not going to waste any of my 24 hour days on things that will keep me and my family down. A promise that I have made to myself is to always continue to move forward, no matter what. In moving forward, there is no room for anything that is substandard.

5 Ways to Gain Energy for the Day

Image result for energyOmgoodness, this  heat is really draining me!

It is so hot here that it is hard to go out and enjoy the summer sunshine. I have so many plans to get my boys out of the house but if it stays hot like this, it may be one boring summer.

Today, I woke up thinking about how I want to show up in the world today. Thinking about what I want to wear and do to get one step closer to the things that I want. Where was I going to find the energy to work at my peak and get some things accomplished.

I eventually got up, prayed about my day, and I am off and running!

My schedule at work is pretty full and that is a good thing. Everyday I tell myself that I am going to use today to chase down my dreams, get another step closer, but sometimes I am admittingly lazy…because of the heat, my hectic schedule and other things that seem to drain my energy before I even get started.

I have really been trying to work on adopting some habits that will help me perform at my very best. I want to use every one of my waking hours to be great…even if it is just to sit and read or get in some quiet time. When I have energy, my days seem to be much more positive and no one can get on my nerves unless they try really hard.

So I have been thinking about it all week and these are the things that I am going to alter to help me gain every and be able to work at my peak…Image result for energy

  1. Meditate and get some exercise. I have been reading so much on mindfulness and the benefits of meditation that I began doing it a couple of months ago. I have noticed a huge difference in the way I look at things, my patience levels, and my energy and performance for the day. It takes a lot to get me upset but since I have been meditating, it rarely happens at all. Meditation is not just that picture of us sitting Indian style on the floor. It can be that or just being alone taking a walk around your neighborhood taking in nature. If you want to try a guided meditation, I like the Headspace App. The quiet time and/or a good 30 minute walk will help the rest of your day to flow a whole lot smoother.
  2. Set routines. When you set routines for your days, it reduces the amount of decisions you make in your day, which helps the day to be less stressful and draining. We have hundreds of decisions to make in a day and a lot of them are not huge and/or life-altering but too many little decisions piled up and drain anyone.
  3. Turn off your notifications. This is going to be hard for some. Many people cannot even walk out of a room without their phones. It is okay if we do not know what every person in our social media outlets is doing, really it is. Every time you get a notification while doing an activity, even if it is napping on a wonderful Sunday afternoon, it is throwing off the focus you had on what you were doing the moment before. I turned my social media notifications off on my phone so I would not be tempted to run to my page for every little notification. I do not even have my phone on vibrate. You may not have the ringtone interrupting you but you definitely have the buzzing in your purse or pocket doing the same thing.
  4. Continue to learn/do new things. Whenever I am learning something new, I am alert and full of energy. I want to get it right, and do well so my concentration is high. New things and experiences require us to give our brains a stretch and work differently. Whether big or small, that new activity, even if it is just taking a different way home, can a make a world of difference in your energy levels and your day as a whole.
  5. Set a routine for bedtime. Our parents had one for us when we were younger. Did they give you a bath then read a book, or say your prayers and sleep with music and your favorite nightlight on? Whatever it was when the time came, your body and mind knew that it was time to wind down and rest. We have to have a routine in order to get adequate rest so that we can have energy for the next day. How we prepare for sleep does make a big difference. If you are doing a million things right before bed, you are not going to rest well because you will be thinking about the stress of your day and end up staying up later and maybe tossing and turning through the night. I do not always get it right, but I have a little routine that I have been working on being consistent with.

I put my phone on “Do not disturb” accept for my close family and friends

I have to have my ice water next to my bed

I try to meditate and read my bible and pray

I write ideas or whatever in my journal, at least 1 point of gratitude

Those things do not always happen at the same time every day, but like anything else, it is a process. We should be excited every morning and evening because by the end of the day, we have lived another day intentionally (hopefully), and when morning comes, we have the opportunity to do it all again.

Image result for energy