When you say that you are a people pleaser,  are you speaking about yourself as well? It is nice to be there for people and be someone that others can count on but not to your detriment. People pleasing has been frustrating and hurtful for me. when it comes to people pleasing though, Am I not “people” too? I don’t think it is so bad when we are talking about saying yes to me. Why do I miss that and not consider me when I am asked to do things?

Sitting here thinking about an experience that I had with a client in the salon this week.  As much as it bothered me and made me come out of my comfort zone, I see me growing and standing up for myself in my response. Long story short, my time is precious. And I know that things happen and I am flexible in those instances. Communication!  I am learning to honor my time myself so when the client was 15 minutes late with no communication, I refused services. She was shocked and I cannot lie and say that my heart wasn’t racing, but I went home. I am teaching her and ME how to love me in those moments. Winning!!!

applying pressure to make a diamond

I appreciate the pressure that came from having stood up for myself. It is showing little pieces of the diamond that I am becoming. Telling someone no becomes a horror story in my life because it was never a normal thing. I am guilty of once being a people pleaser….to all people but me. Then I woke up! Am I not a “people” too?!

This is  going to sound crazy…or maybe you have heard it a thousand times and you are waiting for it to be true for you. Sometimes the bad experiences, the things that test everything about who we are, and/or the hurtful things and people that become present in our lives will put us on a path to the best things that have ever happened to us.

It is an uncomfortable truth but the experiences we see as bad and the people we meet that are not meant to stay will eventually aid in our getting where we need to be. They are going to lead us to the good ones and strength us, that is if we allow them to. We just have to stay away from the idea that those people and experiences are a reflection of your worth.

reframe and redirect

Those things are not a reflection of you, or your abilities or worth. It is an opportunity for us to reframe and redirect our energy. We are being pointed away from what does not serve us… to the right job, the right person or opportunity. When we decide to give our time, energy, or finances to something or someone and it does not turn out to be good for us, it is no one’s fault. It does not disqualify you from having the best life can offer you.

Think about how long it is taking some of us to find our purpose. To really be doing something that we absolutely love to do and even making a good living do it. Life is about trial and error. We are not gonna get everything right on the first try. We did not find our dream job, our passions, career, lover, or true life long friends the first time we set out to do so. Some of us are still working on those things after years of trial and error. Life is about experiencing some wrong so we know what is right for us.

None of those happenings are a reflection of our worth or who we are. 

journey full of life lessons

It is a journey that we are reluctant to take because no one wants to experience pain and rejection. We do want to live a full life though. We also get the bonus of strengthen our resolve and learning more about our standards and desires as we go through. You need to take time to sit and think about all of the things that you know you deserve to have, feel, or experience. Don’t forget to include the fact that you need to be heard, understood, to be seen, loved, and feel like you belong. You want to feel supported and chosen too right?! You need to be a willing participant in your life….I know that I need that!

There are people out there that will simply take what life gives them. They will go any way the wind blows. When I think about how that must feel, it is scary to me. To have no direction, no control. I mean, we do not have total control over what happens to us. We do have control over how we respond to those things and the amount of energy we give them. There are elements like our response, boundaries and actions that will give us some kind of confidence that what we do matters in how our lives are lived.

We will not just let the wind blow us wherever it may! I know that is true about you.  You, my dear, have experienced enough wrong to know what is right for you and you are willing to continue to get the lessons. That is now one of your super powers.  Let me see that pose!!! This is  what makes this journey of life exciting and worthwhile. You have strengthened your resolve. Your experiences are to thank for that. Nothing that happens in the future can minimize or take that away from you.

What have your past experiences done for you? I would love to hear how they have today’s you…

how will you tell your story

You can choose to tell your story with the focus of all of the experiences that you saw as negative, or you can tell them as things that you have triumphed over. Tell the story of how you won. How life thought it had you by the (fill in the blank) and you said no way! Your Faith and your fight won! Now your standards are higher, you are stronger, and you are winning. Why? Partly, thanks to the wrong people and the wrong experiences. THANK YOU!

It is so easy to settle and not want to put in the work to operate as our best selves. We can just exist and get by. That is not hard in a world that currently just hands us finances (but I won’t go there). Don’t just accept good enough. Everything you have gone through wasn’t for nothing. Your resolve means something. You can be all that you see for yourself and more.

For real. For always