Reasons and Seasons

As I progress into a full grown woman, I realize that my needs have really changed. My need for certain foods, clothes, entertainment…. even my needs in relationships have changed. I just recently celebrated by 41st birthday and I am celebrating myself more often because for one, I do not look 41, and I look back at the things and people that I was involve in/with and I am so thankful that God has done many “spring cleanings” in my life. Yeah, my body has changed (believe me, I have been working hard on that one lately). I have three of the most beautiful young men (inside and out) hanging out and growing up with me, and like I have said a million times before, they teach me far more than I am teaching them. Anyway, one thing that I am learning about is my need for relationship. We are supposed to have relationships, I understand that. As a young girl, I KNOW that what I was looking for then, is definitely not what I need now. My friends had to be funny and popular because I was not. Today, I know I need honesty and presence, people that have dreams that I can help to see them realize. That is just who I am. Love to see others succeed, although I admit that lately, I am wanting to push more for my own dreams for a little bit.  I am not the most physically attractive woman, but I have lots of confidence in myself, so much so that I can carry myself in a way that will make anyone believe that ALL of my stuff is put together well!! Its a gift and yet it is who I want to really be so I will continue on until it is who I am and I am not far from that woman. I am not a woman that feels so badly about herself that I would get involved with a man who I know will hurt me because I know that is not what I deserve. I have never dealt with this but I have seen it so many times: just because he is a good “pipe layer” and might make a few pretty babies is no reason to sell your soul and give up a lifetime of happiness. Just being real… You should look for a mate that has similar hopes and dreams and wants more out of life than a tax deduction. Your uterus can only stand so much of that and the government only acknowledges the first three. Unless you know in your heart of hearts about the deep, penetrating love that God has for you, you won’t fully love yourself; if you do not love yourself, what in the world can really give away that someone will truly feel and know that it can be mistaken for nothing else but love. Get some confidence, so much so that the people that may want to prey on your weaknesses CAN’T approach you, and the ones that will pray with you can’t resist you.


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