…But do they ask you if you need anything?

helpinghands2I work hard! I really do. I wear a lot of hats and have many goals that I plan to achieve. Many of you do too. Although we are strong and resilient, we still need each other. We need a good (better than good) support system to help us get through the times when we want to quit. You are there for everyone else. You run your errands and theirs. You bend over backwards and try to support them all. But where are they? When they finally give you a call and “dump”, do they stop to ask you how you are? “Do you need anything?” “How are you feeling?” Yeah, I know the answer to that, and still you continue to carry on in the “friendship” like they care about you as much as you care about them.

I took the time to go through a couple of months of therapy and in that time, one of the things that I learned was that we need to evaluate our relationships and call them what they are. When we have labels for people, the label carries along with it some expectations that we put on them so we have to be careful giving labels out too freely. I am not big on that, myself. I know that I have upset a few people when they call me friend or try to call out titles that they do not take the responsibility for or that I do not care to have. Now I am committed to calling people who and what they are with and to me. If they behave a certain way, I do not expect more than that. It helps me to keep the drama low and no hurt feelings.

I also try my best not to give anyone unsolicited advice. If you don’t ask me, I am not going to put my two cents into the pot. I am not a mean person or anything, I am actually a very kind person…that is part of the reason why I keep my advice to myself. Everyone says that we should help people, without condition, and in unexpected ways. I believe in that wholeheartedly. In fact, I constantly look for people to Bless everywhere I go whether it be to purchase their lunch, groceries, open a door or just lend them my ear if they strike up a random conversation. Random acts of kindness are good for the giver, the receiver, and the witnesses if there are any. There is another side to acts of kindness though. There is a balance of good and bad in a lot of things. I am definitely not saying that it is not good to help others, I just believe that we need to hesitate just a little bit and give it some thought/prayer sometimes. For me, I am putting limits on my giving of kindness because I find that the feeling that I want to have after the act is not what I was receiving. I’ll explain that one a little more….helpinghands3

  • Some people just do not deserve your help. I have a problem telling people NO and it results in me being taken advantage of by more than a few individuals. This is something that I am “unlearning” and if you are doing it, you should to. You know who they are!!! They are the ones who call you and do the “dump” (put all of their stuff on you after you barely say hello on the phone then when they are done, they end the phone call) or people that invite you out just to “pick your brain” for information. You and I are very busy people! These outings are taking time from our careers, family, true friends, deadlines, and “me” time that we can be using to continue building up who we are… for free!! If your time is not valuable to them, do not share it with them.
  • If you know they do not care about you, you should not make an investment in them. Make them pay for your time! (laughing- but I am serious). They can pay for the coffee, lunch, or whatever it is. I am thinking about bringing my Square with me for these types of meetings. (really laughing now…or am I?). Seriously, any knowledge that you have taken the time to obtain, costs you something, why not them? If you are going to be drained at the end of the meeting or phone call, rethink the whole thing.
  • Remember to help yourself first! If helping them is going to take too much from you, do not do it! That’s it. Given the chance, “friends”, even family will exploit you if you allow them to. You cannot help everyone anyway so do yourself a favor and help you! If you are helping people and it is making you unhappy, it is wrong, and it has to change, ASAP. Being selfish in this case is not  bad thing at all. I have no problem saying this, but I do have a problem following through with it.
  • Stop helping when the help is not appreciated! I am going to be super transparent here and say this one is huge for me!!! I am always wanting to help people. They do not have to ask, I am there.. This has hurt me many times over and I am more than tired of it. I have given away hair services, household items, clothing and all. That is just my heart. The problem is when it is not appreciated like when it is time to pay full price for their services, their lunch or what have you. I have to pay my bills just like everyone else. I do not pressure people for money they owe me or when they short me on services, but then I am irritated. That is something that is changing. So do not be afraid to let people like this go, they have no problem moving on to the next person because they never cared about who you are, only what you do for them. GIRL BYE!
  • Stop Helping when you cannot see it to the end. If you do not have time, skills, or resources to help, you should not make the promises to do so. I believe that it does more harm than good when you cannot see the job through, Just say no! If it is a relationship that you are particularly fond of, you may lose it when you miss the opportunity to help when you said that you would. Think it through before you offer your help.

helpinghands1Choosing to help someone can really change our lives…for the great or the bad. We have to be mindful of who we are helping and how we can help without taking anything big from ourselves, financially or otherwise. Helping the wrong person can put you in the position to miss helping the right person. Distractions are designed to put you in the position to miss blessings, for you and others.

 

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Let’s Get It Started

LetsgetitstartedI cannot tell you how many bright ideas that I have had that have yet to pass the starting position. I am honestly quite busy but I know that I have the time to put more than a thought and a journal entry into a few of those ideas. I admit that I try to put as many things on my plate as I can so that I stay busy and it can make a girl crazy! The things that I do attempt get finished, it is just that I am completely worn out after them and I have little time for anything else. Time management and learning to say no are going to be at the top of my list for the New Year, that is for sure.

I have a new planner on the way and goals that I have set for this year are going to see me as a more organized and accomplished being (giggles from excitement). I have been using my meditation and quiet time to map out a vision board and this girl is going to see plenty of good in the coming year. How am I getting there? What is the plan? I am evaluating my past attempts and experiences and making the changes from there. I have learned a lot from previous choices and I am ready to make my goals a reality. Let me share with you what I have learned…letsgetitstarted1

  1. Enjoy what you are doing or trying to do. It sounds simple enough but many of us end up spending most of our day doing things that we do not enjoy. Why do we do that? When you have an idea….for anything at all, you are more than likely going to find yourself hitting a few dead ends. That doesn’t mean that you need to quit altogether and go back to doing what you are comfortable with. We just have to step back and find another way to get there. Everything that we do will not always go well all of the time; we just have to love the process of getting to where we want to go as much as finally getting there.
  2. Be in love or fall in love with your ideas/goals/dreams. You know what they are! The things that I am working on are definitely things I am passionate about. You know, those things that make you so excited you can burst from the inside when you are thinking about them or make you so full you want to cry when you visualize the moment you realize you did it. They are part of your purpose and they are the things that make the rest of your life a little easier to deal with. The thought of what that idea/goal/dream can be should give you the motivation to push forward and forget about quitting until you get there.
  3. Mind your budget. Depending on your idea, this budget has the potential to get out of control. Budgets are crucial and I work on doing one for everything…sometimes. There are times when I hit the mark and others, not so much. Seeing a budget helps us to measure our goals, making them more tangible. Numbers help us to see if and when those ideas can become a reality with what we have on hand. If you don’t see enough resources, you can be creative with what you have before looking for outside sources. If you are like me, you want to do things yourself, which is another thing that I learned about.
  4. “No man is an island”. We know that saying and for some of us, we are working on letsgetitstarted2believing that (my hand raised). It is very rare that we have all that we need within ourselves to accomplish our goals. We need help! And so what if others know we cannot do it alone. We have to network. There are few things that we can do without meeting others who have been there so that we see those dreams of ours as a reality. Talk to people that are where you want to be or read about their journeys. For the most part, there is a person or a group that is already doing something similar to what you are trying to do and not getting paid for it.  Join them and bring value to the people that you are meeting with. If you don’t find that group, create it.
  5. Prepare yourself for change. I am not one of those people who have to see things done the same way every time. I am very spontaneous and flexible. I think that is part of why I do not get worked up when things do not work out. It can be frustrating, don’t get me wrong, but it will not completely knock me out. Embracing change is not a strong point for many but it can save anyone a lot of stress if they learned how. It is best to not get fixed on things happening one way. A new way of thinking or doing things can be refreshing and can set things on a greater path than you originally planned.
  6. Tell the world! This one is huge for me because I am not good at this one. I am a quiet person when it comes to sharing who I am and what I am doing. I have no idea why I am such a private person (yet I started a blog, right). Maybe it is because I have problems trusting that the people I know will actually support a project I have or maybe I have a problem with rejection. I am not sure and I do have issues with both of those at times. I am learning that I have to go outside of my circle for authentic support and be bold and confident in what I am doing. If I don’t believe in it, I cannot convince anyone else to. I know that I have to be ready for all types of feedback and advice and I am. I also know how to weed out the good from the bad and keep it moving. Feedback is important for a lot things that happen in our lives but we cannot get caught up in the opinions of others. We also have to know that we should not worry about things being perfect, nothing really is. We just have to be careful not to just share any ol’ thing with the world. We have to give our best at the time and work on improving things from there.

letsgetitstarted3Whatever it is that you are planning on trying or doing in the upcoming year, do it! Do it afraid. Do it with boldness…just do it! If you are like me, you may be tired of creeping your way to the place you want to be. Tired of letting someone’s opinion make you back away from the idea. Get in your quiet place and make a plan, set a goal, journal your dream. Get ready to have the time of your life on a journey to everything that you want to do/be. Celebrate yourself with every small accomplishment along the way. Love on yourself with every little failure as well. Write it down…make it plain…get it done!

‘Tis The Season

Tis the season2I truly do love this time of year! I love the weather because I get to wear my cute boots and scarves. I love the sales, music, and the friendly faces too. Right next to the people with those friendly faces, are the ones who absolutely dread the holiday…yet, they still get out there with everyone else. Why?!!! I do not get that! Looking all irritated because they feel like they have to run up a credit card bill and empty out their accounts to make someone they love semi-happy.  I refuse to drive myself crazy trying to give everyone everything on their list, and do it all in 30 days. We all know that the Christmas season does not shift around…meaning, it comes every year at the same time! The prices are not always something to celebrate at this time because many stores raise their prices so that you will pay the real price after you get your “60%” off. We swipe those cards and give the credit card companies an opportunity to make a lot more money off of us if we pay the minimum balance, so where are we saving?

I have enough bills to deal with throughout the year so I am mindful of this time of year and the “bargains” it may bring. I would like to enjoy the season and still be on good financial footing when the new year begins. I have been reading some about finance and budgeting and I have been using some new ways to keep my stress level down and my wallet balanced during heavy spending times, including the summer, school, vacations, birthdays and Christmas.

  • Tis the season1Set a budget and stick to it! I used to buy things just because I could and it would end up being something that would probably not be used, it was just on sale. Am I the only one? We do not need to impress others with our ability to create debt. Look at your finances and create a budget that gives you air to breath. If you need someone to help you stay accountable to your spending, get someone!
  • If you think you need to, earn some extra cash. There are plenty stores that hire for the holiday season so get out there and do what you need to in order to help your family have a memorable Christmas and not put any significant dents in your main income. You can always take on more hours at your present job if you do not want to take on another job. I found a mobile app where you can do surveys and make extra money as well, Swagbucks. There is also Field Agent. With them, you go around scanning items in stores that you frequent and make money for each scan. It really does work and has plenty of positive reviews. Check them out!
  • Sell things that you have and do not need, use or want. Get rid of it! Go ahead. ItTis the Season is taking up space and you can potentially make money off of it. I am currently giving away purses (you have no idea how hard that is) and maybe a few pairs of shoes.  Someone is probably looking for what you don’t need anymore. I see a lot of people selling things on Facebook yard sales and other places. You never know what you can make and be able to purchase gifts for the family without having to create more debt.
  • Be creative with your gifts. Think about the people you want to purchase gifts for. They are not all the same and some of them already have too many scarves, ties, and pajamas at this point. You can always make something unique or plan an excursion that they would appreciate. I coupon so some of my loved ones may be getting gift baskets with practical everyday things that they can use. That saves them money and the time it takes to shop for the items. Be creative and “out of the box”; most of the time those gifts turn out to be the best and most memorable ones.
  • Tis the season4Pay your bills ASAP! If you did have to use credit cards, try to pay the debt off as quick as you can. The longer you sit on it, the more interest builds and that $9.99 sweater you purchased will really end up being a whole lot more depending on your rate. I know it may be hard to do, but just try not to use them at all. If you have no choice, budget your spending on them. I do not really use mine much because the plan is to be credit card debt free by the end of next year and it is a reality for me because I only have one to go!

This is the time of year to show love to our families and also strangers. Trying to make it through the holiday season without significant debt can be hard, but with careful planning and sacrifice, we just might be able to do it. Giving gifts at Christmas does not have to sneak up on us. I know that it’s coming so planning throughout the year allows a little less stress and gives time to actually enjoy the season and the reason for it. Happy Birthday Jesus! Tis the season3

Friends…How many of us have them?

friendsblog2I feel that I am the type of woman that can walk into a room full of strangers and leave out with a few potentially good friends. In order for that to be true for any of us, we have to want to connect with others and be intentional about it. I think a lot of people come into a room and their attitude let’s everyone know that they do not want to be there.  In order for any of us to walk into that room and command attention, you have to show the room that you are interested in knowing others and interacting with them and show confidence in yourself. That means you cannot turn your nose up at all of the pretty women or act like you do not care. It is not attractive to act like no one can approach you. It is easier for you to not attend if you know that you are not going to be social. Save the room from the drama. (giggles)

When you are interested in getting to know people, you have to throw the anti-social stuff away. I never was an anti-social person but I do admit that I sit back quiet so that I can observe the people in a room. This is because I do not want to waste time with people that I know are going to be temporary.

For the most part, I am a social butterfly. I absolutely love people and find getting to know others a lot of fun.

To make new friends, you pretty much have to be friendly. It sucks when you are in a room full of people that know each other and you only know 1-2 others. No one really likes to go to gatherings alone because that can be quite uncomfortable. Although lately, I have been going to do nightlife activities like Chalk and Talks, Wine and Paint, and other things that I have always wanted to do… alone and have met people along the way. So what can you do to authentically connect with people that peak your interest for friendship?

  • For one, there isn’t a person in the world that doesn’t like to talk about themselves so ASK QUESTIONS! Do not ask the typical general questions, try to get them to answer something different, genuine, open-ended questions may get genuine answers.
  • Be Genuine/authentic!  And look genuinely interested in what others are saying. When you approach a person for a potential conversation, you have to look interested. People can sense when you are not being genuine and not everyone wants to give their time to fake people with agendas.
  • I am an introvert! I know, that is hard to believe right? I am and I am very happy about it. But in a room full of people that is calling for social interaction, I FAKE IT! Your girl knows how to look like I love everyone and want to talk to them all. I do honestly show that I am genuine and real and that is true, I just am not the person who wants to be seen in the room so I rather sit back and enjoy people-observing.
  • SHOWER THE PEOPLE WITH COMPLIMENTS! We all love to hear compliments. We work hard on our bodies, how we dress, our hair, our education and hustle and we want to be noticed for it. We want someone to see and acknowledge our hustle. Compliments will help get you into a conversation. Do they have beautiful eyes, a nice suit, some irresistible cologne or perfume and you just have to know more about? Say it!
  • Remember that when you approach someone, you have to have an approach that says you are comfortable and non-threatening.  When I make eye contact with others, I smile. It costs me nothing and you just never know how far that smile will go.

I am at a season in my life where I actually desire to obtain different friends. Friends that have similar thinking and goals. Friends that love to share and talk, that will trust me with their intimate life and vice versa. Friends that will rush to call and make a lunch date because there are some things that we have to “talk” about. I am getting older (and still beautiful, of course) so making friendships that are consistent and lifetime-worthy are very important to me. We want friends that will call us to talk about their family, career, dreams and what they are doing for fun and will answer when we need to vent as well. Friendships can be weird.  Sharing life and making an investment in long term relationships is everything! If you have them, nurture and celebrate them.Friends blog

What 40-something me has learned from the 20-something me

judgement blog3I finally got the opportunity to go on my vacation and it was absolutely magical! From the travel to Miami, the cruise itself and coming home, everything was stress-free and just what I needed. The weather was perfect and I even lost weight while eating everything the ship had to offer including my midnight pizza run. I spoiled myself, no doubt but I deserve it! I work hard and I take care of a lot of people outside of myself. I am a busy woman! I am not perfect, by any means, but I am pushing forward in my pursuit to being successful enough to go where I want when I want. After being on vacation and getting the time I needed to clear my head and make new goals, I am motivated to be a little more fabulous than I was before my vacation. I am setting new goals and chasing them down!

I love to travel and I am working hard so that I can get more opportunities to see the world. I love seeing as well as learning about other places. There is a big world out there and I want to see as much of it as I can before my body calls it quits. At this time in my life, I am trying to see more, do more, and become more. I mean, why not? What else is there to do? After visiting the Western Caribbean, I want to see more! I want to live my best life. I know that it will include lots of travel. judgement blog2

We have to look at our future while we are “middle -aged” just as we did when we were in our twenties. We were “fearless and we knew it all”. We were not afraid to try anything, at least once. When we conquered one thing, we would have the confidence to push forward to the next thing. Wanting to do more and go bigger. I need this attitude in my life today!

What I am learning as I look back and reflect on the fresh attitude that I had back then is that being and having perfection in my life is not possible. But I will say that being who I really am and doing things that I absolutely love in the company of those that love me is the bomb! People will celebrate me, hate me, I am going to mess up (plenty I am sure), but be sure that you know that I will not stop moving. Forward motion only for this girl.

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Short, sweet and to the point!

 

 

 

Early Bird Does Catch The Worm

EarlybirdOne of my clients gets up every morning at 4:30 to take a walk or go to a class at the gym. I don’t even think that my body will know what to do at that time. I know that I would get a lot more done if I got up early. The few people that really know me, know how much I already do in a day….I do not need more time. I know that I would fill it up!!! Lately I have been thinking about being over 40 and attempting to get somewhere near optimal health. Yes, eating right and exercise are important, but I learned while going to a nutritionist that sleep plays a huge part in being healthy. I was a night owl so this is going to be a challenge. Staying up late has always been a part pf me winding down because after you put your children to bed, it is finally quiet. It works for me to be up when no one else is so that I can get thing done when no one will be in the way. I do want to try to see if there are any improvements that can be made that will benefit my health. I am going to do the switch for 30 days to see if it will be beneficial for me and my family. I looked up some benefits of being an early bird. Food for thought…

earlybird2

  • It is QUIET! There are no children running around or making noises. The peace and quiet I wait for at night can be accomplished in the morning. Getting time to myself is important. Time that I can use to read, have my tea, think and write (night time antics include win instead of tea, of course).
  • Enjoying the Sunrise. When we get up later, we miss the amazing sunrise. Nature gives us calming feelings. There is something mesmerizing about watching the darkness turn to light and your electric bill is not affected. Looking at all  of the beautiful colors that occur as the sun lets us know the day is beginning. I love the sky so that one alone is motivation to get up.
  • You can get an amazing start. If you get up earlier than you need to be you can have time to get things done without stressing. I normally get up later and I have to scoot my young people along so that we will not be late. I have a son that is not a morning person at all so he walks around grumpy and upset when we do this. I think I am doing him a favor by letting him sleep but it really does not help. Getting up earlier will help me get what I need done without having to rush.
  • Have time to get your thoughts together. Because I have started doing some meditating, it would help if I got up earlier to first of all give thanks for the day. We have to feel Blessed for the opportunity because we all know someone that went to sleep and did not wake. So time to be thankful for just waking is important to me and for me. I can get my thoughts together and call on some positive energy to take with me for the day. I want to be a fountain not a drain to those who encounter me so this will be an even bigger help.
  • Breakfast! The most important meal of the day. I know that but I m not going to lie….I do not DO that. I know that I will enjoy sipping on my tea with a devotional or good book early to help to begin my day right.
  • Exercise…. I have to admit that even though I wake up late, I do get a walk in in the morning and it helps to bring energy to the rest of my day.
  • My commute is better. I know that my drive to work will be a million times better if I am not trying to catch all of the green lights so I can make it to work before my client gets there. I know, shame on me. I’m growing!
  • Time to think. I have so many things that I want to do and have to do. I have goals! I have a planner and I am always in it. If I get up earlier I can have time to preview my day so that I can be effective without being stressed. I can plan our family appointments and  get that out of the way early and make sure that we can get there early. I always tell my oldest son that if he is getting to work at his scheduled time, he is late! Everyone needs time to breathe in between the events in our lives.

Now to the hard part, figuring out how I can get this done without crying every morningearlybird1 when the alarm goes off. So here is my game plan….

The first thing that I have to do is move my alarm. I will hit that button so quick your head will spin. It has to go on the other side of the room. When I walk over to turn the alarm off, I am going to work on NOT going near my bed. You know what happens when you get close to your bed and  you are still tired…..yup!

I know that i am also going to have to attempt to go to bed a little earlier. If I stay up late, I will not be able to function when that alarm goes off. I am going to need to come up with a routine that helps me fall asleep without surfing the tv. Reading in bed might help or a good foot massage…any takers? lol

I am thinking that I am going to make the change small so that I can actual feel a little success every day…or week. We will see. Cutting back will help me reach my goal. It will not be 4:30 that is for sure but I will give myself at least another hour or two in the morning.

I know that I will definitely feel better in the mornings. Enjoying that extra quiet time alone will help me to gather my thoughts and be more productive throughout the day. Getting this jump start will be great because I also homeschool my youngest jedi and he will appreciate a fresh mommy teaching instead of the slow-moving-you-can-have-cereal-for-breakfast mom/teacher. He loves when I rarely wake up to do a hot breakfast with everything he can imagine. If I do that more often, I can be awarded the title of

earlybird3MOM of the Millennium!! What mom doesn’t want that?I just have to make sure that I stay away from my phone once I wake up because I may end up wasting time seeing what happened on social media while I was sleeping. The whole point of this is to get more done and have less stress doing it. There are so many great rewards to getting up early and I want to enjoy them and see what it is like to not have to move 100 mile an hour to do everything because I didn’t get up early, then procrastinated throughout the morning.

 

You Only Live Once (YOLO)

YOLO2Would you please stop worrying about what people think of you! It is hard. I have to admit that. In a very…very….small, minute way I do worry about what people think of me. I am also learning that what they do think of me is their issue, not mine. We all want people to see the good side of us and think highly of our character and actions. There are certain people that no matter what we do or how we say something, we will never be seen positively in their eyes. It is just not going to happen. There is just something about us that rubs them the wrong way. That is their issue. I think that is okay.

For me (once upon a time) I had no filter. My delivery was straight, no chaser! Filter was on -100 and I was fine with that. I felt like it was an honest answer and who can ask for anything more right?! I just thought that people should not ask if they really didn’t want to know. Maturing as I am now, I am learning to remember who I am delivering to. Everyone cannot handle transparency. Everyone cannot handle the truth, especially if the delivery is not padded. So as I grow, I am learning and I can communicate with just about anyone and give it to them the way they need it….uuummmmm the information (blank face). Anyway!!! That is for another blog…

I used to worry so much about what someone would say about my hair when I startedIMG_7808 going natural, or my clothes when I was feeling fat and thought I was not looking so good. I walked around wondering what people were thinking when they looked at me and of course, it was always something negative. I worried about it all from if they would catch me trip over my own feet, to me saying something stupid that would hush the crowd after a good laugh. I was way too self-conscious. I mean I was wondering so much about what others were thinking that I was missing out on the experience of whatever I was supposed to be enjoying. What a waste! Then I found out….NO ONE REALLY CARES!!!

Seriously. In all actuality, most people do not care what we are wearing or what we look like. They are not caring, staring, or..well they are probably judging but they do not give us as much thought as we are thinking they do. We all have had the embarrassing moments happen to us like tripping over our feet, having food in our teeth, or saying something silly or not-so-funny…food flying from our mouths when we are trying to eat and talk…we are human. So do not feel like you are being branded because you were caught slippin’. People are probably not watching us as much as we think.  We cannot be afraid of it all because “to ere is human” right?

YOLO1Looking at it another way, we need to shrug off the people that do judge and realize that their opinion is not important.  We have to be bold enough to express ourselves in word, deed and our outer appearance.  Not just anyone should be able to approach you and say whatever they want. A lot of times our outer appearance influence other’s behavior toward us, even if it shouldn’t, it does so we have to be mindful. Has anyone else went a whole day wearing their shirt inside out and no one told you?! Yes! My hand is raised. But you know what? Not one person mentioned it. They paid more attention to our conversations and the experience that we were having. It was not important to them or me. I did not find out until I got home…and I got a good laugh out of it but I didn’t let it bother me. Not having that nagging feeling that people are examining me, waiting for me to slip up is gone. Who cares!

Now that I am more confident, I can interact with anyone without worrying about what they are thinking. My days are so much better because I can actually be a part of what is happening around me, mindful of the beautiful little things that I was missing before. My days are so much more beautiful, meaningful. I mean, I do still think about the opinions of others and I do check my mirror throughout the day but it is different now. No one’s opinion of me matters more than my own and their judgments do not define me. I know who I am and I absolutely love her… I mean ME!

I believe that we should just live a life that we can be proud of. A life that contains people that support what we love. For me, that is my family, Faith, and a few friends. I love to travel, plan events, and play around in the beauty and fashion industry. If there is a person in my very small circle that has a problem with my loves, they should probably keep it to themselves or exit stage left. I do my best to live a life that shows my children that I love my God, my family and what I do for a living so that the career fields that they choose to “work” in will not feel like work at all. That was always important to me. I never want to dread going to my place of employment. Do what you love and love it out loud. Say what you want to say (being mindful of the receiver of course) with confidence. We have to know that people are going to care, stare, and judge. So what! They may point and laugh or even look at you strangely, but you are being you. Not trying to be any fake copy of some reality star or anyone else in your world. You…. a designer original (that is what I call myself) are the only one that can do it like you. So just do it….YOLO