How I Learned Through the Hurt

We have all been hurt by people we love. The hurt that we have felt was sometimes unforgivable. Before I knew that I was only hurting myself when I didn’t forgive, I didn’t forgive. I am passed that now! I hold no grudge and I push forward with love. Can I tell you something? Those people that have hurt me in my past have also helped me. Maybe more than anyone else, they have shaped me into the beautiful human that writes this for you today. I have learned through the hurt and I am grateful.

You heard me. I am grateful for those hurts. Grateful to those that hurt me.

They taught me about myself

When I finally opened my heart to healing, I learned that all of the hurt was for growth. It was not the way that I would have chose to learn about myself, but it is the tool I was given. Those people who hurt us  are the ones that teach us what we truly deserve…and what we don’t.

Our worth, sense of self and standards come from those experiences. We learn where we need boundaries and what love is..and what it is not.

Think about the people that have hurt you. Just for a moment. Those that disappointed you, misjudged or overlooked you. Remember the ones that rejected you? When I think about those people, I think about the experiences that have taught me my worth. I learned much more about myself. When those thoughts come up, I know what I will accept in my life and immediately avoid the things that take joy from me. I just don’t have time for those things anymore. Thanks to them.

Don’t be ashamed


You should not sit in guilt or shame when it comes to the hurts you are feeling. In some strange way, I take time to celebrate  because, although the pain sometimes hurt me to my core and the healing took an extensive amount of time, they gave me something I needed.   Some of the things we need to become our greatest self can only be given to us one way and that is through pain. Through the experience. So again, thank you.

If we had a life where we always got our way and things were always rosy, what would we learn? What purpose would we have? Living a life where everything is always yes and hurt and rejection are never present. What exactly would your journey look like? What could you be proud of when you have nothing to work for?

Who would want a life where you would never know what it means to have to stand up for yourself, say or hear no, or use your brain to make a tough decision?

How did that hurt serve you?

You know that you deserve someone that will be honest with you. Now you know that you deserve someone who supports you and moves without having an ulterior motive. What about someone who says what they mean and knows how to communicate effectively? See, now you know that you deserve that too!

Those experiences were terrible. They hurt us badly at the time. Look at it this way. You now know what you deserve and your worth is no longer in question. We can listen to and read about another person’s experiences but it is another thing to live through an experience. We learn so much more when we live through the exact opposite of what we truly deserve.


We live through.

We learn through.

Look at the beautiful soul that you are. Strong enough to put your guard down in order to love and trust someone else. You decided to connect with another person and let that person in. You experienced what it was like to be vulnerable and that is beautiful. Most people don’t trust. They are more cynical and closed off.

You trusted yourself to be vulnerable. And that is not a bad thing. As many times as I have been hurt, I will not close myself off to the possibility of doing it again. I love love. I love loving! My heart can’t help it. I will always be willing to connect and trust. Therefore I know that I am opening myself up to be hurt. Today, I look at the hurt a lot differently than I did in the past. It does not feel good but it is FOR my good. Get it? I do now.

you move differently now

Think about how you move now. You stand up for yourself more and you tell people no. How about the times when you call someone out for not treating well or you act accordingly when you get a bad vibe. You finally started to ask for what you want and you are not afraid to disagree with anyone  when you believe they are wrong. Finally…you choose you without apology! Where do you think those moves come from?

Real life happened. Those experiences brought things to life for you and now you move in ways to show yourself love . The way you treat yourself now came from those traumas. You did not just wake up one day and make a decision to protect yourself. Those hurts remind us to know our worth and we have boundaries that protect us and those we love. You learned through the hurt.

lessons and blessings

The pain has faded and now the lesson remains. That is why, although it did not feel good to have the experience, we have to be grateful for what we were taught in the interim. Be grateful beautiful one. Strong one.

All that you have been through will not be wasted. That means what felt good or bad was a part of your journey and will be used to shape you into who you are to be. Despise none of it!

Go out there and continue to tell people how you feel by standing up for yourself. Say no and mean it without giving an explanation. Keep avoiding those toxic relationships and putting boundaries where they are needed. Also don’t forget to keep trying new things and doing things you are passionate about. Celebrate life as you travel as you please and practice new hobbies. Just breathe and notice everything.

Live your life out loud! Don’t hold a thought or a person hostage (including yourself).

Learned through the hurt. Let go. Live bold.

One Comment Add yours

  1. There is an old saying that “the things that don’t kill you, make you stronger”. Thos is very true, life experiences and the people that create them can help us grow….if we alow them to. Thanks for sharing this insight.!!!

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