I find myself saying sorry a lot…..and hearing it a lot, a lot….
Now, there is a time and place for us to be sorry; a lot of times, it needs to be said! We are all human and we are far from perfect so we are going to disappoint people, including ourselves. We mess up, yes we do, and we need to give those apologies when warranted.
- Sorry, I disagree
- Sorry, I can’t make it
- Sorry, I don’t get it
- Sorry, I don’t have it
- Sorry, this isn’t working out
- Sorry, I have something I need to do
It is okay to say, “Sorry, I hurt you” or “Sorry, for what I said. I was angry.”….That is different and I can relate! I find myself saying sorry for things that I am not really sorry for, like it is a reflex or something. If I think it is not what someone is waiting to hear, I have my sorry on deck waiting to hand it over. Am I the only one? I am sure that I am not.
I….no I am going to say WE here because I hear it just as much as I say it. WE apologize for our opinions, our mannerisms, our perspective, our looks….anything that will make someone else uncomfortable or rock the boat a little. Why are we apologizing for just being us?!
In those cases, we have nothing to be sorry about!
It may seem like a small thing to you…you’re going to see it start to add up over time though. I am going to honest and say that it used to be exhausting for me. I am over here thinking that I am being polite, but you are really telling yourself and the person that they matter more than you do. Whenever we apologize for things that we don’t have to, we are slowly chipping away at our self worth. You are telling yourself that what you are doing, saying, or feeling, is not right…I’m just saying.
We need to work on this! Seriously! We need to save those “sorry”s for when we really need them, when they really matter. We don’t need to apologize for what we are saying, feeling, and doing because it doesn’t fit someone else’s ideals.
This may be news to you, but we do not have to agree with what others say. We don’t have to do what they need us to do. We are aloud to confident, shy, loud, too tired, or just not feel like it. Let’s stop apologizing for the way we sing, laugh, dance, think, or dress. We are real…and all of that matters! We need to get it together and start showing ourselves and others that we can and will embrace all of who we are. We need to trust ourselves and all of the things that make us, us.
When we say sorry when it’s not warranted, we are devaluing ourselves and our choices. That is really not cool. Say sorry for everything makes your life more about the other person and less about you. Everyday we get to live, we have a chance to gain understanding and perspective. We get to make decisions, have opinions and they may not be the same ones the people around you hold and that is ok. We are all growing and that is something that we do not have to apologize for.
Let’s stop apologizing for the person we are…and the person we are trying to become. Embrace who you are and what you do…every bit of your imperfect self. We can stop saying sorry and forget about feeling the need to justify our choices.
Again, working to remove sorry from our daily vocabulary may seem small but as I have been working on it, I feel like I am owning who I am and telling myself that my feelings and choices matter. I am leaning into who I am and what I am about and that is love….self-love. I don’t mind being a little selfish (in this case, that is not a bad thing). I am also being honest with myself and that is priceless.
I am going to hold my “sorry”s for when I have wronged someone and I am feeling remorseful about it; want forgiveness. I am not going to be turning myself inside out to make sure someone else is comfortable with my choices. Not apologizing for that.
When you make the decision to be yourself and not feel the need to apologize for it…you’re winning and in the long run, they are too. They get the chance to love a better you!