We have been so strong. Think about what we have been through and survived. Things that would have killed a weaker being. I am so proud. You should be too. Be proud of how you handled most of the experiences you have had so far.
When most people think of strength, we think about being able to handle the craziness of life without going crazy ourselves. Being able to push through and not allow your worth to be diminished despite the trauma. Yes, you are that kind of strong. You should be proud of yourself for enduring those things.
recognize Your Strength
It does take a strong person to push through negative experiences or rejection and still know who they are. That bad habit, the disappointments, both from yourself and others. Look at how you rebounded and now have an incredible comeback story to share. You did what you needed to do. The boundaries…the personal growth..the raising of your standards…keep it up! Flex a little because that was strength in its essence.
We should be proud of those things! But there is more….
Sometimes as we endure those experiences and make it to the other side, we don’t even realize the choices that we have made in those moments. Do you realize that you chose to live and focus on the beautiful and extraordinary things in your story? That can be hard to do when you are in the middle of the ugly things of life. So proud of you. You are working to define yourself by the more beautiful things…wow. That is strength!
That is Just The Way I am
It can be easy to look at the not-so-beautiful things that we experience and just chalk it up to “that’s life” or “that is just the way I am”. We put labels on ourselves or allow someone else to do it and we cosign their judgment. Labels like insecure, a failure, demanding or bossy, impatient, jealous, or scared. These may be challenges that you have as you grow but they are not you. You don’t define yourself by those labels. It is a wonderful thing that you have made the decision to let the beautiful things about you ring louder than the other things. Look at you!
This is something that I am working on more. I use my bathroom mirror to display things about me that are really true. Things that remind me of who I am when I am in the middle of some mess and I forget. I am all about using “I am ____” statements. Started a habit of putting 3 post-it notes on my mirror every Sunday to focus on for the week. I am loyal. Strong. A passionate person. I am not what happened to me. A good friend. I am compassionate. Reliable. Empathetic. I am beautiful. Whatever it is….try it! Grab 2-3 or more post it notes and put some “I am ___” or “I have” statements on them. Post them where you will see them often.
We are so busy telling our loved ones how awesome they are and forget that we are just as awesome and we should shed some of that light on ourselves. How about being our own best friend? Win yourself over!
How Beautiful You Are!
Look, it is not easy to be strong after all of that. I know it was hard to endure the things that have given you the challenges and opportunities to grow into the strong (add all of the adjectives you know about you) person you are today. You faced some ugly things and have managed to still be kind and empathetic. Still, you chose to let the beauty that was left behind define you. How beautiful!
What you have decided to do was not easy! Reflect on that. Sit in your strength.
You chose to believe that the world is not against you. That’s great. Not only that, you also have made the choice to not be against yourself. Winning! You are winning. Take a moment to breathe and celebrate you for that.
Sometimes We Have to Reframe
We are going to have times in our lives where we have to remind ourselves of who we really are. The post-it notes are good but what if you are not at home? Something that I do to keep my energy high is every time I go to criticize myself, I replace the thought. Can’t lie to you and tell you that this doesn’t take work. Truly it does. It is a choice and we make a choice whether we are conscious of it or not. For every one negative I think or say, I replace it with 2 positive things. I am not saying that we should not have less than favorable thoughts at all. There is no shame in that. It is a real thing, a human thing. Acknowledge them, reframe. Keep your strength. Focus on who you want to be.
It takes a strong person to have survived what you did. I celebrate you. Blowing up a couple of balloons for all of us! You have made a decision to let the beautiful things about you and life be bigger than the not-so-beautiful ones. SO proud of you. Keep going. Keep being great. Keep showing strength.
Love and Light…