I feel that I am the type of woman that can walk into a room full of strangers and leave out with a few potentially good friends. In order for that to be true for any of us, we have to want to connect with others and be intentional about it. I think a lot of people come into a room and their attitude let’s everyone know that they do not want to be there. In order for any of us to walk into that room and command attention, you have to show the room that you are interested in knowing others and interacting with them and show confidence in yourself. That means you cannot turn your nose up at all of the pretty women or act like you do not care. It is not attractive to act like no one can approach you. It is easier for you to not attend if you know that you are not going to be social. Save the room from the drama. (giggles)
When you are interested in getting to know people, you have to throw the anti-social stuff away. I never was an anti-social person but I do admit that I sit back quiet so that I can observe the people in a room. This is because I do not want to waste time with people that I know are going to be temporary.
For the most part, I am a social butterfly. I absolutely love people and find getting to know others a lot of fun.
To make new friends, you pretty much have to be friendly. It sucks when you are in a room full of people that know each other and you only know 1-2 others. No one really likes to go to gatherings alone because that can be quite uncomfortable. Although lately, I have been going to do nightlife activities like Chalk and Talks, Wine and Paint, and other things that I have always wanted to do… alone and have met people along the way. So what can you do to authentically connect with people that peak your interest for friendship?
- For one, there isn’t a person in the world that doesn’t like to talk about themselves so ASK QUESTIONS! Do not ask the typical general questions, try to get them to answer something different, genuine, open-ended questions may get genuine answers.
- Be Genuine/authentic! And look genuinely interested in what others are saying. When you approach a person for a potential conversation, you have to look interested. People can sense when you are not being genuine and not everyone wants to give their time to fake people with agendas.
- I am an introvert! I know, that is hard to believe right? I am and I am very happy about it. But in a room full of people that is calling for social interaction, I FAKE IT! Your girl knows how to look like I love everyone and want to talk to them all. I do honestly show that I am genuine and real and that is true, I just am not the person who wants to be seen in the room so I rather sit back and enjoy people-observing.
- SHOWER THE PEOPLE WITH COMPLIMENTS! We all love to hear compliments. We work hard on our bodies, how we dress, our hair, our education and hustle and we want to be noticed for it. We want someone to see and acknowledge our hustle. Compliments will help get you into a conversation. Do they have beautiful eyes, a nice suit, some irresistible cologne or perfume and you just have to know more about? Say it!
- Remember that when you approach someone, you have to have an approach that says you are comfortable and non-threatening. When I make eye contact with others, I smile. It costs me nothing and you just never know how far that smile will go.
I am at a season in my life where I actually desire to obtain different friends. Friends that have similar thinking and goals. Friends that love to share and talk, that will trust me with their intimate life and vice versa. Friends that will rush to call and make a lunch date because there are some things that we have to “talk” about. I am getting older (and still beautiful, of course) so making friendships that are consistent and lifetime-worthy are very important to me. We want friends that will call us to talk about their family, career, dreams and what they are doing for fun and will answer when we need to vent as well. Friendships can be weird. Sharing life and making an investment in long term relationships is everything! If you have them, nurture and celebrate them.