The idea of being in tune with your feelings is not a bad thing. My only problem with feelings is when someone gets so far IN them that they allow those feelings to define them. When your emotions are so overpowering that you lose control, it is like you are saying that the situation you are facing is what you are accepting…you are settling for that and if it is not building you or others up, helping you grow, or kind to you or anyone else, you should not accept it because it is not serving good to your spirit. One of the current sayings out there that I just do not agree with is, “it is what it is.” I do not know why but it just does not sit right with me. It almost has a quitter connotation with it and that is just one thing that I cannot relate with.
We have to learn to separate our emotions from reality. This has been one hard lesson for me but I had to stop taking everything so personally. We should not believe that we are defined by our emotions.
Think about the things we say to ourselves…
“I am boring”
“I am not good enough”
“I have no one to support me”
“I am alone because no one wants to be around me”
All of those feelings are just that, feelings. They are not real/true and we have to remember that feelings are fickle and temporary (thank God) and tomorrow is another day, heck…it can change within the next couple of seconds! Whatever negative things like the above statements that you are telling yourself…STOP!
If I can speak for myself, at one time or another, these are all things that I have said to myself, among other things that were not self-serving. I know now that this is not how I show love to myself so it is something that I am changing and I get better at it every day. I would not let anyone else say these things to me so why was I doing it to myself?! I use to be so timid and my self-love was at an all-time low but I can say that I have grown and I know better so I am doing better.
We may feel these things at some time or another but we have to know that it is an emotion and we will not feel that way forever. We can feel these emotions but we do not have to be them.
You can feel alone…but know that you are not or it will not be that way forever.
You can feel like you are not good enough for someone. Maybe they are the wrong one. You will not always feel that way. And make sure that you know that you are good enough for YOU.
We are allowed to feel what we feel, just to not make that feeling define who we are as a person.
Any feeling we have can and will change!
Remember that feelings are fleeting and can change in a manner of seconds. This is also why we should be careful not to speak or react out of our feelings.
We should listen to our hearts and our gut, recognize what we are feeling and work to think our way into another direction if those feelings are not kind. Sure, we can feel lonely, sad, angry, defeated, or whatever, we are entitled to that. We do have to also remember that it does not serve us to be unkind to ourselves so yes, you may be lonely but you are not a lonely person…get out there and be around others and separate yourself from that emotion. You may be sad or feeling defeated but you are not going to be defined as a sad or defeated person. You can change what you are feeling by responding differently. Get out there and doing something you have always wanted to do, or try it again, do something that brings a smile to your face.
When you have negative emotions, you can always put something into action that can make that feeling whittle away. Those emotions do not have to define you. They are real and you have every right to feel them but if they are not helping you to grow and feel worthy of love, you need to save yourself from yourself and take action to get your emotions in line with who you know you are and/or can be.