You Are Not Broken!

notbroken1For many years, I really spent a lot of time doubting myself. Always wishing that I had a different body or looked different, had a better financial situation or a different life.  It took me a moment but I did realize that I needed to accept myself, the way I was…right then.

We have to learn to acknowledge who we are…now…and accept that person…today…

Why do spend so much time and energy fighting the truth? We do it consciously and subconsciously. Why are we always wanting to be someone else, do something that someone else is doing, wanting to be a different person, look a different way, or carrying ourselves a different way? We really need to get to the point where we accept who we are.  There is a quote by Kurt Cobain, “wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”

I listen to a lot of podcasts, read books, blogs, and all of that… We can do that all day! We can repost all the inspirational quotes and memes but that just is not going to make up for that lack of self-acceptance that we may have. IF we want to grow…we have to knowIMG_E1086 where we are now and accept ourselves.

So where can we start?

First of all…YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!

You cannot improve on what you have not accepted. Know that you are not broken. Have faith in this…Live by this!

We all have things that we do not like about ourselves. We have flaws and insecurities and hiccups happen in our lives. That does not mean that something is wrong with us. Even with all of our flaws and mishaps, we are enough! We have a purpose and can continue to grow into a better person.

Wanting to improve yourself is proof that you have power. Setting goals, wanting bigger and better, being inspired to want more….all motivating but we also have to accept who we are and appreciate where we are NOW and allow that to be the foundation for where we are headed. Thinking about our brokenness, whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, etc, is never going to help you grow into the person you really want to be.

notbroken2Again…YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!

We can look at the things in our lives that we believe are not where they should be and want to make them better. That is ok. I have learned to stop ignoring the things that I don’t like about myself. I am working on acknowledging and accepting them, maybe even love them. Many try to hide or fix whatever we feel is flawed so that no one notices. I remember how stressful that was for me! What a heavy load to carry.  And for what?!

Eventually, you are gonna have to take the makeup off, remove the shapewear, or come clean about what you have experienced in your life. We are gonna have to admit it (whatever that is) and think about how much better you are going to feel once you do. Think about the cleansing…the weight lifted! That is what happens when you stop ignoring what you don’t like about yourself. Nothing wrong with dressing up and accentuating to look your best. I am saying that you should still love the person you are underneath all of the adornment.

So at the end of the year, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to change about myself. Not a resolution, just self-evaluating and looking to improve. I have a few times in the year that I do this; another day is my birthday. I look at where I am and think about where I wanna go next. Some of the things I wrote were…I am not confident, I need to work on this belly, I am not where I wanna be in my blogging…etc…That was me, putting my cards on the table, owning my thoughts…then I threw it away! Why, because I can accept DSC_2694where I am and work toward improving what I want to. I know it sounds silly to make the list but it was therapeutic for me. I also write down what I DO like about myself so that it doesn’t feel like a negative activity. Seeing it all on paper made it more real and helped me to accept what I love and what I do not like. I love my heart toward others, that I am generous, curious, motivated and empathetic….those things matter to me just as much as what I do not care for about myself. After all, it is the good and the bad (or our perception of good and bad) that makes us who we are right?

Take some time to get real with yourself. Confirm that you are that b*tch…flaws and all!

I am not always the best mom, friend, coworker…I am shy at times, not always confident, hardly ever bold, awkward, nerdy, and I don’t always like the way I look. BUT I am also a super caring, energetic, funny, curious, empathetic, powerful and kind woman and I own it ALL.

I am that b*tch! I am she…right now! Today! I am gonna own that ish…. (two snaps in a circle- I just aged myself right?)  I am not gonna ignore my flaws or hope that no one else sees them.

notbrokenJust thinking about it makes me feel stronger and frees me from the judgment of others and myself. I’m gonna move through my days with confidence and self-assurance. This girl is gonna stop judging herself and give my back to others when they attempt to pass judgment on me (your poo stinks too -shrugs).

We are in control of our thoughts and how we judge ourselves so watch what you say!

 

Own all of who you are…the good and not so good. Improve what you can and accept what is just part of who you are. You are THAT b*tch and you are enough and not broken. You are YOU! Own that and grow into who you are capable of becoming…

 

 

 

Time to Glo UP!

glowupWe encounter people every day. Some of these people are in our lives for a lifetime and others for a brief experience. Reasons and seasons…and when we see and learn the difference, that becomes part of our “glow up”.

When you have your experience with people and find that someone is “not right for you” and move accordingly, you are officially having a “glow up” moment. I have come to a point where if I just don’t vibe with someone and just recognize that they are not my person, I just step away and move forward. Good riddance to bad rubbish as the English say. When we make the decision to stop trying to impress others and also to stop forcing relationships, we win…we are delivered from that stress. Plain and simple.

We need to see that there are people who are right for us and others that are not,glowup3 PERIODT!

Realize that the right people, the ones that truly belong in your life for the duration are out there. Until you find those persons, do not settle. You really don’t have to.

We should live in confidence that we never have to settle just so that we are not alone. Ok, I will say this again, you do not have to settle for anyone just to not feel lonely. You can say goodbye to anyone that does not add to who you are and do it respectfully. No hard feelings at all…you are just not “my person”.

Sometimes we are lead to the wrong people and unhealthy relationships…we can thank our ego and impatience for that. They make us hang out with people that add no value to us and are uninspiring. You know that our ego wants everyone to like us and our impatience makes us want people in our lives right now whether wrong or right so that we don’t feel alone and/or so that we have what we think all of our friends have.

glowup4We have to stop being scared to let go of relationships that are clearly going nowhere. The ones that are not what we really want nor deserve…and I am not just talking about romantic relationships. I mean all of the “ships” you have going on in your life. Let’s let go of the relationships that do not make sense and make room for the ones that will. I am clearing a path for the people who will be “my people” and letting go of the spectators.

Moving on!

I am going to be nice about my departure from those that no longer serve good in my life, I am. I am not ghosting anyone or acting standoffish. I am just going to create boundaries that work for me.

Recognizing that someone is not for us and they do not have to be in our lives and we do not have to be in theirs can be a good thing. A lot of us hold on to things and people for fear that we may not have any other options later on. We can learn to let go and not feel glowup2bad..this can empower us not to get hung up on just having someone in our lives…an ex…a bad friend…a selfish coworker…a greedy relative…whomever. We don’t have to overthink on why a date went wrong or worrying about impressing others so you can join their friendship circle. We do not have to think about being anyone other than ourselves in order to have people like us. For real!

Not everyone will be your person and guess what? They do not have to be!

This year is here and it is time to respect myself, establish boundaries and create true, deep, lasting relationships with people that are meant to do this journey with me and you should do the same. We need people in our lives that we do not have to explain ourselves to, especially our nos. We need people who do not stand in the way of what we want and be honest when it seems it may cause us harm,  who encourage us, who bring out the best in us…the ones who are not impressed by the same things that everyone else is, the real ones that will call you out on your BS and love you through it.

IMG_1110This coming year, I hope to discover the people who are my people. I am not going to be afraid to let go of the ones that do not serve good to my soul and/or add value to me. Bye to the people that are not my people….Goodbye! That means checking my ego and curbing my impatience and remembering what I want and need in this life.

Life is so beautiful and the people in it are too so I want to meet as many people as I can. I want to hang out, network, talk to as many people as I can, go to restaurants, parks, malls, and farmer’s markets. Definitely not going to shut myself off to the world. I am just gonna be aware of the people who may be in my life for a reason or a lifetime. I won’t hold on to people who have served their time and brought the lessons that they needed to bring. I am going to get out there and live…but learn to let the right people in and say goodbye to the ones who need to go.

I have let people go in the past…plenty! I have learned so much from the experiences that glowup1I had while they were in my life and I regret none of them. Those experiences and people helped me grow into who I am today and I am forever grateful. I believe that I am more centered because of them. They weren’t my people but I am definitely better for having them in my life for a season.

Now on to making this year my best year yet…

Happy New year to you!

My Top 5 Shows to Binge During the Holidays

bingingSo I know that many people have taken time, or have been given time off during the holidays. For me, any time that I take, I wanna relax. I am more of a reader but I do love when I can find a good show to binge. I know…binging can be so bad! Your diet goes out of the window and you do not get much done. It’s the holidays!! We can act up just a little…right?

Anyway, like I said, I am more of a reader but I have found a few TV shows that I have grown to love. If I watch Tv, I am usually stuck on Food Network or HGTV. but here are some of my new loves…

  • The Mandalorian. This is a live-action Star Wars series that is centered around a  bounty hunter who is sent to obtain a very important asset. There are 8 episodes and you can watch Season 1 on Disney+
  • Why Women Kill. This one is like a soapy dramedy with three married women binging3living in three different decades, each of them dealt with infidelity in their relationships. You can watch this one on CBS All Acess.
  • Evil on CBS.  This show is about a psychologist, a contractor, and a priest-in-training that get together to investigate the supernatural occurrences that continue to happen. They are trying to figure out if there are really “otherworldly” things happening. You can watch it for free on CBS.com
  • Undone. This dramedy follows a girl named Alma who is searching for the truth about her father’s death after she was the survivor of a near-fatal car accident. There are 8 episodes in Season 1 and you can watch it on Amazon Prime.
  • Watchmen. This drama is set in an alternate reality where superheroes are not binging1allowed, though some are still present and acting as vigilantes. One of my favorite actresses is Regina King so I had to try this one out.  She plays an ex-cop who experiences a tragic event that turns her life upside down. Season 1 for this one is now streaming on HBO GO or HBO NOW.

I do occasionally watch a couple of others but right now, these are my favs.  I am going to be doing less binging in the coming year to give more time to my passions. The word binging by definition means indulging in an activity to excess. Excess means that it is too much! Maybe I will reduce it to one show…and more books!

What TV shows are you now binging on? let’s share!

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I Stopped Chasing Perfection

perfectionI think have spent most of my adult life chasing a certain number in my bank account, a certain number on the scale…friends…careers…you know where I am going. I wanted everything that made me look like I had it all together. I know that I am not the only one.

SO….what “perfect” thing have you been chasing after?perfection2

  • the perfect person
  • the perfect body
  • the perfect career
  • the perfect love as only seen in movies
  •  other people’s approval
  • perfect physical successes such as money and thing

???? Have you gone crazy yet trying????

I QUIT!!! I really stopped chasing after the perfect versions of what I want in this life.  Now, I am not saying that wanting perfect, or more/better is wrong…actually, it is great! I am just not going to obsess about it.

What we see on television, social media, magazines, and in our environment and call perfection are not definite things. There will always be better, more, or more perfect versions of those things somewhere. When we are chasing that certain something, we are never going to be satisfied or feel accomplished or successful or whatever emotion you feel after you have it because it will not be enough once you have it. Perfection is just perfection1not attainable!  Only God is perfect…so I QUIT! I have taken off my shoes because I know that if I am chasing perfection, I will always be chasing perfection and that is no way to live your life.

I am, however going after what I want in this life. I have set my vision…even have a vision board! I am just not putting finish lines in my path that says, “this will be perfect” once I have it.

Nothing is perfect. There are no perfect people, jobs, no perfect time, body…and happiness won’t feel perfect and doesn’t last forever.

That should not make you sad…I am actually happy about that. My life now is about embracing the fact that my life is not and will not be perfect and that’s ok. I am embracing every bump, bruise, and dimple that makes me, me. Life is about falling in love with another imperfect person, embracing your imperfect self and heading into the sunshine and the storms together, not knowing how it will end and knowing that you will not be alone in it.

We live in an imperfect world and there are going to be many curves in the road along this journey.  Now that I have stopped chasing perfection and have opened my mind to my beautiful imperfect self, things are starting to just feel right. I live in my present and accept and embrace it for what it is…mine.

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If you stop chasing this “perfect” person, someone will come into your life who is probably the total opposite of what you were looking for, but they are everything your soul needs.

If you stop chasing acceptance from everyone, you will have time to get to know you and fall in love with and clap for yourself.

If you stop chasing that “perfect” person’s body, you will have time to pursue your best health and be able to celebrate your growth and life change.

If you stop chasing money… you will discover that success can be found in places that you never even thought of.

In my quiet time, I learned more about myself and quieted my soul so that I could find out what I really needed. When I stopped chasing perfection, I found out what my soul needed. Amazing things happened when I stopped…and it is not easy. Now I appreciate what I do have, and I can truly say that I am happy.

perfection3We should not wait until our lives are perfect before we fall in love with living…that is never going to happen! We should love the gift of life in spite of the flaws that it shall bring because we know it will not be perfect. We need to live in spite of a life that is far from perfect. We should live boldly and maybe even a little wild with a hunger for our deepest desires.

It is what life is all about right?!

10 Cool Gifts for Him that I Love

Christmas is back!! It is approaching so fast and I have been so busy.

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Finding the perfect gift for your “him” can be a task sometimes. While shopping for the men in my life, I am trying not to purchase something that they would buy for themselves or anything that is boring. I also have a budget because when I don’t, I do way too much! I found a few ideas that can work for any man on your list. Some are personalized, DIY, and will match any budget.

Here are 10 of my favorites

  1. If your man owns air pods, here is something that will help ensure that he will not misplace them again…a monogrammed Leather Air Pod Case. With the monogrammed case, there will not be a mix up on which belongs to whom. The case comes with a clip so that he can attach them to a keychain, backpack or his jeans. I found this on ETSYmenchristmas
  2. For the photographer on the run, you can purchase this smartphone camera lens set. All you do is clip on the super-wide angle, macro lens, or fisheye to the phone to catch the perfect shot. The clamp design does work with every brand of phone, so no worries. This was an Amazon find. menchristmas1
  3. Personalized men’s wallet is always a practical choice. I was messing around on ETSY and saw some really cool brands that were reasonably priced. You can have initials, their names, or something a little more elaborate printed out. menchristmas2
  4. Sometimes it is cool to give them an experience for Christmas. Why not give the experience of skydiving without actually jumping out of a plane? Indoor skydiving is so much fun and most big cities have a place to do it!menchristmas3
  5. Now, there are so many men out there rocking the beard trend. Are you tired of looking at all of the hair in the sink? Ok, on Amazon there is a beard bib to help him keep his beard sexy while keeping the sinks clean. That is a dual-purpose gift right there! menchristmas4
  6. With this one, there shouldn’t be an excuse for why he didn’t pick up your call. Amazon has a USB Charger Station that can charge six devices all at once. They also sell a car charger that has five ports for either iPhone or Android and it charges at twice the speed as the normal charger.  menchristma5
  7. Charge 3 Activity Tracker Watch from Fitbit is a cool gift for the man who loves fitness or is trying to set a fitness goal for the new year. This one is swim-proof and goes deeper with information on his heart rate, calories burned, sleep and more. menchristmas5
  8. If your guy is one who loves to go through photos and talk about family history, I would get him the Ancestry DNA test. I found one on Amazon right now for $59.00! He will have a blast finding out more about his family history, especially the things that the family storytellers may have left out. menchristmas7
  9. So I saw something kind of cool the other day. I saw some beanies. They weren’t just normal beanies though… they have built-in speakers to stream music or make/receive calls via Bluetooth. The speakers are removable so you can wash the beanie when its time. menchristmas8
  10. All of my boys are getting headphones this year because they know how to make mine do disappearing acts. I just don’t think you can go wrong with getting some BOSE QuietComfort Wireless Headphones. They are noise-canceling and wireless! They have been rated the most comfortable and the GH Institute’s test has given them a top-ranking for sound quality. menchristmas9

There are so many other cool gifts out there. Look around but do not get stressed out. Men are a lot simpler than we think.  Happy hunting and Merry Christmas!

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I’m Outgrowing People and That’s Ok

outgrowingpeopleAs we get older..we tend to outgrow things. We have outgrown our clothes, our tastes and there are certain things that we just aren’t going to do anymore. Have you outgrown Santa and the tooth fairy? Maybe you have outgrown wrestling your younger siblings or dainty little tea parties (can’t say that I have!)…it happens.

Let’s go a little deeper…we have also outgrown some of our fears right? What about some limitations? You are not afraid to fly alone anymore or swim. There is so much more to add to that list. So why are we holding back when it’s time to walk away from people that we have outgrown?

Why are we not embracing the space we are in mentally, physically, spiritually, and/or emotionally and wanting to see the same thing in the people closest to us? Why are we so afraid to let go of the ones who do not serve us? Why waste time giving our energy to them?

We are out here adulting and stuff and I am sure that you, like me, have gotten to the outgrowingpeople3point where we know who we are and who we desire to be. I don’t know about you but I NOW know what it is like to appreciate myself and invest in me and it feels so good.

Regardless of how your mind works, life will always move forward. We can do the same as we grow up and get to know ourselves better. We have to embrace the fact that as our lives change, so will our circles. There is absolutely no reason for us to sit around and wait for other people to catch up with us.

It is OK to outgrow people!

It is not selfish, or spiteful, or mean to do this. We owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward and everyone cannot come with us to the next space. Sorry, not sorry.

outgrowingpeople1Outgrow people who do not know your value, or pretend to not know…

Outgrow people who are not genuine with you and treat you like you are replaceable…

Outgrow people that do not appreciate you…

Outgrow people who are accepting of part of you and not all…

Outgrow people who do not support who you are and what you are trying to do…

Outgrow people who do not talk to you unless its for a favor or the latest gossip…

Outgrow people who do not want to grow themselves…

Now I wouldn’t go making list or anything of said people. My thoughts are to just realize what you do not need in your life right now. Look at how much you have grown over these years! Let’s keep that growth moving by letting people leave when they try or walking away from people that leaving you feeling anything less than fabulous when they are in your presence or even text and messages. You know that feeling…you seeoutgrowingpeople2 their name and your heart starts racing or you roll your eyes…yeah that one.

We don’t even have to be mean about it. We can simply move on. Move on from the one-sided relationships, people that only hit you up when they have “tea to spill” or want to borrow from you and all of those people who do not appreciate you but “keep in touch”. They are all draining and you can tell from the way you feel when you finally hang up or walk away….RUN!!!!

Remember, that there is nothing selfish about walking away from what doesn’t serve you.

IMG_0925Sometimes, we have outgrown people without even realizing we have. Make it real by walking away. Let me say this…even though you are moving on from whatever, you are not losing it because you cannot lose what it once gave you. You once received from them and it helped you grow, it gave you comfort and taught you many things.  Take the lesson with you!

For this upcoming year, but I have already started, it is time for me to make my circle resemble my growth! I am outgrowing and moving on from people and environments that don’t see my value, invest in my growth, and those that are ALL TALK. My prayer is that you step away from the fear of losing and do the same. We all deserve to live our best life surrounding by people that can see our worth and will hold us accountable…truly love us unconditionally.

Vitamin K- The Forgotten

Vitamin K is a group of compounds. There is K1 which is found in plants. K2 is synthesized in our intestinal tract and present in animal products and fermented food.

Vitamin K has a reputation for promoting blood clotting. It also contributes to strong bones and heart, lowering cancer risks, and protects against diabetes and internal bleeding. The body needs fat to properly absorb it. Vitamin K is stored in the liver and fat cells.

Dr. Cee Vermeer, a Vitamin K researcher, believes most people have a vitamin K deficiency. We may get consume enough to maintain clotting but most of us do not get enough to protect us from other health issues. National research says that only 25% of Americans receive the average requirement of 90-120 mcg of vitamin K.

Being deficient in the vitamin can have some far-reaching effects such as varicose veins, cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, tooth decay, pneumonia and some cancers… lung, prostate, and liver and leukemia.

Vitamin K transports calcium through the body regulating clotting and plays a major role in platelet aggregation. It also promotes blood circulation in peripheral bodies and tissue. Vitamin K is also important when it comes to brain development and works in the nervous system by enabling metabolism of fats in brain cells. It also is said to stall degenerative disorders such as Alzheimer’s by enhancing your memory.

Chronic kidney disease is linked to Vitamin K as well. Low levels appear to play into the development of accumulation of calcium in small blood vessels of skin and fat tissue, to include kidney tissue.

Vitamin K has a low toxicity potential. People with blood disorders and pregnant women need to be careful in their consumption of the vitamin in food and supplement form. If you have a history of heart disease or stroke, you should consult your doctor before changing your vitamin intake.

Vitamin K plays a major role in overall health. Foods high in Vitamin K keep the blood healthy and the bones strong.

Here are some foods rich in vitamin K….

Kale and leafy greens

Natto (Japanese food made with fermented soybeans)

Brussel sprouts

Broccoli

Cabbage

Scallions

Prunes

Fermented dairy products

Asparagus

Fresh and dried basil

Soybeans

Cucumber

Extra virgin olive oil

Our body works hard to take care of us. We should do what we can to give it what it needs to do the work efficiently. I have been mean to my body but the more I learn, the more I want to do better. I thank my God and my body every morning for working hard to keep me alive to get one step closer to being who I am meant to be. Now I have to do my part to show my appreciation…..