What will you do about it

I was doing a little shopping in the grocery store and notice an interesting occurrence. There were a few biracial couples shopping, smiling, and loving on each other. I have nothing against this at all because my family is one big melting pot of color. What I did observe was their gentleness toward one another. The way that the man lovingly pushed the cart while his wife held on to him and them belly-laughing, gazing in each others eyes. I think about the numerous times that I have heard Black women express their anger about “their” men choosing Caucasian women to marry. As I watched and have witnessed firsthand, some of the treatment that “our” men receive from us is what causes them to explore other options. For instance, when we have a man that is “in between” jobs, sitting at home, how do we behave? DO we encourage him and make him want to excel; make him want to do better? Are we nagging him and breaking him down causing him to feel like he can never provide for his family? I do not believe that we are all the same. A woman that is her man’s number 1 fan, his cheerleader, the one who nudges him into his destiny, are not included in the bunch of women who are angry because they feel all of the GOOD men want Caucasian women. We have to look at how that man was raised too…what did his mom do to encourage him, to make him feel valuable? We, as moms, are the first women in this man’s life; the one that all women will be compared to and that is not always to the positive for us. Your son may be looking for a woman that is nothing like you because you never made him feel like he was important; like he could be or do anything he wanted to. We have to raise our boys to dream and if we are pass that, we have to encourage our men to dream again. If we are the woman that takes care of him but never cheers him on and makes him want to be the best man he can, we are not the one for him and eventually we will be blaming some other woman for doing what we didn’t “feel” like doing. Encourage your sons, your brothers, and your man to reach for the stars, one moment at a time. They love to be celebrated so do it!!!!! It doesn’t take anything from you, it will eventually add to you and YOU reap the benefits, not the next chick….

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Minty Fresh

 

I am totally in love with this mint color craze for winter and spring. The color is so cool and crisp, yet it is not so “pastel-like” that it makes you feel like you have to be wearing your Easter Sunday best. I am a lover of shoes of all types so there are few styles that I would refused to grace my feet. As women, we need to embrace the different styles of shoes and the beautiful color that they can add to finish our wardrobe. Being a woman is fun because you can wear anything, nothing is off limits if you are bold enough to put it on (in your size, of course) and confident enough to know you will get attention and it may not be positive. Shoes bring femininity to a woman’s figure that will have men breaking their necks to look and women with low self-esteem turning up their nose, green with envy. The higher the heel, the more curve to our body and the longer and leaner we look. If you learn to walk in a shoe with a beautifully high heel, you can command all of the attention in the room and feel sexier inside than you ever can in a flat. I am a vertically challenged woman so every chance I get, I am in heels. I want to feel like an adult and at 5’0”, I need a heel to look into the eyes of the average person. I have no problem with that, gives me a reason to go and shop for a great shoe! Every time I leave my home, I know that everyone in my world can see me so I try to put together my own style and walk as if my world is my runway. I am confident in my appearance because I take the time to care for my skin, shaving, exfoliating, and “beating my face” so that I feel beautiful on the outside; I also take the time to eat right (still working on being consistent with that one), exercise at least 4 times a week, and stay active so that my insides match my outsides. I am by no means a skinny woman, the world considers me plus-sized, but I am beautiful and poised. I can be in the hood or the boardroom and handle myself as a confident woman. Anyway, right now I have my eyes set on some beautiful mint shoes and I can’t wait to brush up on my pedicure for spring and rock those babies. To all the women who love shoes do not be afraid to rock some color…and you do not have to match. Matching is so yesterday!!!!!! Be daring, different.

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A Woman’s Worth

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            I think that I wanted to start this blog because there are so many girls and young women that have grown up in homes that enable them to be raised by the streets and it leaves them empty and roaming through life without embracing who they can be as a woman. I love being a woman!!!!  The softness of our skin and delicate feelings…the fact that we can wake up looking like a complete mess and walk out of the house looking like a work of art, and the independence that we display while we cover our dependence on the security that the love of a real man can bring. As a girl, many of us have been raised in homes where our parents worked a lot and we were left to raise ourselves and maybe even a sibling.  We experienced working and “dating” at early ages and maybe even being taken advantage of by an adult we trusted. Those experiences helped to shape our lives and create the people that others see in us today. Many of us use our upbringing as a crutch for why we are in our current situations and want to lean on the heartache in order to stay where we are in life without taking responsibility for our response to it. I went through a lot as a young lady but have been determined not to let those things define who I would be the rest of my days. I wrote down my dreams a long time ago and I read them when I get down on myself. At my age, I am itching to start seeing those dreams come true so I am working toward building the foundations of those dreams and looking forward to building up. I want to see other girls and young women dream again. They need to know that they can see those dreams come true; they can be full-grown women who do not have to depend on a man to survive, just allow him to compliment who they are. We need to really stop and “smell the roses”, embrace being a women and get all that we want out of life (if it is in the Will of God, of course). I want to share what I am learning about being a woman: a beautiful, intelligent, powerful woman. I do not have  lot of financial success but I have had many other successes being a mom, wife, friend, student, leader, and woman in general; and that is to just name a few of the hats I wear; of course we women wear so many more. Life is full of ups and downs and I want to share my thoughts on them to show that we are not alone in our journey and we should not have to feel that way. Life’s journey is about continuous adjustment and personal growth so we must go THROUGH it; why not embrace and ENJOY every nook and cranny. May we laugh, cry, and do what we have to do along the journey as long as we GROW…