Our lives are our own…we also have the pleasure of sharing our lives with others. Some people are in our lives to encourage, empower and love us, while other are there for the lessons. A lesson or a Blessing! For all of those relationships, there is the beginning and the end, for whatever reason, for however long. Regardless of the time of each person that has been in my life, I am grateful for their presence. I am also grateful for a lot of those endings! This girl definitely appreciates everything that happened in between the beginnings and endings for sure.
I used to get so upset when I had to experience the end of a relationship that I thought was supposed to be longer than it was. Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, or some other situation, we hate seeing the end of things we really wanted to work. We feel like we wasted our time or energy. There is a feeling of deception or just plain BS. It is normal for us to feel this way because in some instance we feel like our time was wasted, but it wasn’t. This experience did not happen “for nothing”.
Gratitude is Necessary
No matter what happened in the relationships that are no more, we should be grateful for the good times that did happen and the lessons and knowledge that we brought with us. We survived those relationships and have tools to bring forth so that we are better as far as choosing future relationships.
The relationship may have been a short one, but you learned what you are willing to accept. There were laughs and memories along the way that let you know that your choice was not completely unfavorable. You can look at each and every relationship ending and still have something to be grateful for despite the ending.
Bad Endings aren’t all Bad
I know I am a bad quitter! People have take up space in my life much longer than they should and I have paid a heavy price for that. Paid the price both mentally and physically. For the life of me, I just do not know how to give up on people or situations and that has taught me a great lesson. I am much better with it now and that is for survival alone. My empathy knows no bounds but she is learning!
Even if the ending was one of frustration or anger, we have to realize that it is all part of our story, every piece of it. It is all part of what is making us who we are becoming.
The ending of a thing does not define us. They don’t even tell us much about what we have learned in the process. There is no way that they tell us what kind of person we are, or what we are capable of. Most of all, they do not erase the experience all together or predict our future relationships.
Appreciate the Chapter
Have I begun to look back at those past relationships and appreciate the good things that the experiences brought to my life? Yes! Can you? I know you can. We just have to realize that not every relationship or person is forever…or even of great distance in our journey.
Some people are in our lives for a reason or a season. We will be encouraged and thoroughly loved or taught great lessons, none of which we should be bitter about. That person or relationship may not be forever… we can guarantee that the journey (and the lessons) from beginning to end are part of your story.
Think on the Good
Whatever the experience, good or bad, it makes up the pieces of you. You are the “you” that you are now because of the experience. When I think about that, as far as what I have been through and who I am now, I am grateful. It didn’t feel good at the time. There were years of counseling and healing that is, even to this day, taking place. Forever grateful for the lessons. I have the tools to survive. There are opportunities to share with other women. I stop the generational scars from harming my boys. Forever grateful!
There is a lot of fire, smoke, dust and ashes at the end of most chapters but if you’re here, you are a survivor. You are stronger! A little more bulletproof. There are also beautiful parts in that chapter that you have taken with you. Parts that only another strong survivor can understand and celebrate along with you.
When you look at who you are today, do you think that you could have been “today’s you” without those chapters? Without those endings? I know I would have never been this strong without mine.
Bash the Bitterness
There is still something good to hang on to from those chapters. Look at how much you have learned. So many laughs and so much knowledge. You tried so many new things and danced to a new rhythm. It was worth it wasn’t it? If only for a little while.
It is ALL part of your story, even the most ugly and scary parts. Yes, even when you thought you were gonna die. The story is part of your forever even though they are not.
Be grateful for the lessons and the blessing brought through this relationship and/ or situations. I am grateful for the connections and all of the great memories. Learned about myself more than anything in each ending. I let go of all of the bitterness and watched myself grow from every hurt. Even now, because I am not without hurt in my life today.