I read somewhere that The Law of Responsibility says that we are responsible FOR ourselves and TO others. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with helping another person. I mean, that is why we have what we have, including our gifts and talents…to enjoy them ourselves and to share with others. We just have to have boundaries, and know how to enforce them. In any relationship that we have, there must be lines, clear lines, that help us to empower others to do what they should be doing. Those same clear lines should remind us that we are doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves.
I find myself helping out a lot even though I have so much on my own plate. It does start to effect how I accomplish things that I need to…if I accomplish them at all. I used to end up overworked, stressed out and frustrated, but then I realized I was doing it to myself. Other people’s problems became my problems and I still had my own problems to deal with. With all of that going on, I was not managing my life well and no one was going to come to my rescue. When we take on other people’s issues, we are taking responsibility FOR them, and that is not our job. Our helping at that point, is not helping!
If we are going to be a good friend to those we love, we have to be responsible TO them by telling them when things seem out of control and something needs to be done to get things back in order. As long as we come from a place of love when we deliver, the news should be received well. Being responsible TO others means that we should not be doing for them what they should be doing for themselves. We should just be there for support, coaching, and to maybe give them resources when we see that they are stuck, but not doing the work for them. In the end they will feel so much better knowing that they did actually take care of an issue on their own..
One of the most empowering feelings is a person knowing that they have earned something that took a whole lot of effort and responsibility to accomplished. Words cannot describe it and it can become addictive. Let the people in your life experience this feeling by allowing them to be responsible for themselves and you be there to support them in whatever way you can without doing the things for them that they need to do by themselves.
Only when you begin to start taking full responsibility for everything in your life (and you allow others to do the same in their own), whether it be health, finances, goals, relationships, spirituality, intellect, etc… will your true purpose and growth as a conscious human being begin to push forward. If others are always depending on you to do things for them, or to bail them out, they and you will remain stagnant.
When you’ve finally become responsible for every aspect of your life and you allow others to do the same for themselves, you both become givers, rather than takers. Giving sustains life, taking destroys life. Depending on others fully is being a taker. Being a giver/receiver will create endless blessing in your reality, because you’re now taking part in sustaining life. Empower yourself by taking responsibility for yourself and allowing the ones you care for the space to do the same for themselves.