Friends are an important part of all of our lives. We all need friends, but we need to be selective about who we allow to get in that inner circle. As I have grown older , it honestly has been harder for me to make friends and keep them as my life gets busier. I mean between homeschooling my son, working in the salon business, planning events and travel, and deliberately scheduling some self-care, not to mention taking care of home (children, bills, cleaning, cooking, etc) I am pooped! With all of this going on, a friend’s support is of the utmost importance. Sometimes the best friends are not always the ones that we have known the longest, the ones we party with the hardest….sometimes the best friends are the ones that decide to show up. For real!! For me, this is the most important quality a friend can have. I don’t just want that kind of friend in my life, I also try to be the kind of friend as well.
Showing up…..for the weddings, the birthdays and baby showers, the plays, the graduations, the hospital stays, the disappointments. I have always tried to be there even when I have a list of things that I need to get done because what is important to the ones I love has to be important to me. That is friendship. So I will do all that I can to show up.
I know that I have days when the weight of my world is enough to deal with and I do not know where I get the energy to get as much done as I do. Don’t ask me because I do not know…Thank you Lord!! I manage to summon up the energy from somewhere and things get done…and some things do not. For me that is OK. Even in my busyness, I attempt to show up..those moments matter the most to people who love you. Showing up is what solidifies the friendship and they are going to make better attempts to show up for you when you need them. Just so you know, eventually it will be your turn to need someone to show up for you so remember that when you are turning down invites.
I have often been surprised by who shows up for me and who doesn’t. You can show up for someone time and time again and then when you need them, they let you down. On the other hand, there are people that I have blown off many times and they are the first ones to show up for me. So what I am doing is learning to weed out the ones who keep letting me down over and over again and hang on to the ones that keep showing up. Putting these relationships in the proper perspective helps to keep the possibility of being let down from happening. I want to be around people who enjoy my company as I enjoy theirs. I am an introvert so I really do guard my time. Part of the change I want to make for this year is to say no to things that do not matter so that they do not deplete the energy I need for the stuff I want to say yes to. Quality over quantity is what it is about for me. It has made for a quiet year so far but that is OK. I have a brand new planner and I am going to fill it up with things that I have always wanted to do and people that I want to do it with. Sometimes we have to reduce “friends” down to a manageable amount for us so that we can have the time and energy to give to maintaining the quality friendships. Be honest with yourself too. If there are friends that you have resentment for, you need to ditch them! Seriously! Resentment is a deal-breaker in any relationship because it can make life harder. Serve good to yourself and rid yourself of the drama.
Communication is important in any relationship. Without it, things are not going to work out. When we think about our friends, of course we hope that they are showing up to the weddings, milestone birthdays, or a loved one’s funeral. We have other things that happen in our lives that may not seem as important to them that can be overlooked and cause friendships to be strained. In these instances, we should tell our friends when something is really important to us and if they still do not show up, over and over again, just move on. Life is really too short to keep people in your life just because they have already been there so long. Show up for those you love and the ones that show up for you.