Would you please stop worrying about what people think of you! It is hard. I have to admit that. In a very…very….small, minute way I do worry about what people think of me. I am also learning that what they do think of me is their issue, not mine. We all want people to see the good side of us and think highly of our character and actions. There are certain people that no matter what we do or how we say something, we will never be seen positively in their eyes. It is just not going to happen. There is just something about us that rubs them the wrong way. That is their issue. I think that is okay.
For me (once upon a time) I had no filter. My delivery was straight, no chaser! Filter was on -100 and I was fine with that. I felt like it was an honest answer and who can ask for anything more right?! I just thought that people should not ask if they really didn’t want to know. Maturing as I am now, I am learning to remember who I am delivering to. Everyone cannot handle transparency. Everyone cannot handle the truth, especially if the delivery is not padded. So as I grow, I am learning and I can communicate with just about anyone and give it to them the way they need it….uuummmmm the information (blank face). Anyway!!! That is for another blog…
I used to worry so much about what someone would say about my hair when I started going natural, or my clothes when I was feeling fat and thought I was not looking so good. I walked around wondering what people were thinking when they looked at me and of course, it was always something negative. I worried about it all from if they would catch me trip over my own feet, to me saying something stupid that would hush the crowd after a good laugh. I was way too self-conscious. I mean I was wondering so much about what others were thinking that I was missing out on the experience of whatever I was supposed to be enjoying. What a waste! Then I found out….NO ONE REALLY CARES!!!
Seriously. In all actuality, most people do not care what we are wearing or what we look like. They are not caring, staring, or..well they are probably judging but they do not give us as much thought as we are thinking they do. We all have had the embarrassing moments happen to us like tripping over our feet, having food in our teeth, or saying something silly or not-so-funny…food flying from our mouths when we are trying to eat and talk…we are human. So do not feel like you are being branded because you were caught slippin’. People are probably not watching us as much as we think. We cannot be afraid of it all because “to ere is human” right?
Looking at it another way, we need to shrug off the people that do judge and realize that their opinion is not important. We have to be bold enough to express ourselves in word, deed and our outer appearance. Not just anyone should be able to approach you and say whatever they want. A lot of times our outer appearance influence other’s behavior toward us, even if it shouldn’t, it does so we have to be mindful. Has anyone else went a whole day wearing their shirt inside out and no one told you?! Yes! My hand is raised. But you know what? Not one person mentioned it. They paid more attention to our conversations and the experience that we were having. It was not important to them or me. I did not find out until I got home…and I got a good laugh out of it but I didn’t let it bother me. Not having that nagging feeling that people are examining me, waiting for me to slip up is gone. Who cares!
Now that I am more confident, I can interact with anyone without worrying about what they are thinking. My days are so much better because I can actually be a part of what is happening around me, mindful of the beautiful little things that I was missing before. My days are so much more beautiful, meaningful. I mean, I do still think about the opinions of others and I do check my mirror throughout the day but it is different now. No one’s opinion of me matters more than my own and their judgments do not define me. I know who I am and I absolutely love her… I mean ME!
I believe that we should just live a life that we can be proud of. A life that contains people that support what we love. For me, that is my family, Faith, and a few friends. I love to travel, plan events, and play around in the beauty and fashion industry. If there is a person in my very small circle that has a problem with my loves, they should probably keep it to themselves or exit stage left. I do my best to live a life that shows my children that I love my God, my family and what I do for a living so that the career fields that they choose to “work” in will not feel like work at all. That was always important to me. I never want to dread going to my place of employment. Do what you love and love it out loud. Say what you want to say (being mindful of the receiver of course) with confidence. We have to know that people are going to care, stare, and judge. So what! They may point and laugh or even look at you strangely, but you are being you. Not trying to be any fake copy of some reality star or anyone else in your world. You…. a designer original (that is what I call myself) are the only one that can do it like you. So just do it….