Whether we are home with family or in a room full of strangers, we are all being observed and judged at some point. What you are wearing, smelling like, how you are rocking your hair, what you are doing, saying, or otherwise is all being watched and someone will always have something to say. And sometimes it will come from the person that you least expect. We may try to act like we do not care what anyone has to say, but depending on our personalities, backgrounds and upbringings, our feelings can be really hurt. I know as a young girl, I hated that someone always had something to say. I even partook in having something to say as well. I mean, why not? They were talking about me too! And…that..was …when I was a child. Now, I am realizing how much time I wasted worrying about what someone else was doing, saying, thinking and wearing when I could have been working on myself. I could have been making sure that I was being myself, working on myself…improving and loving ME!
I did pay a lot of attention to what people had to say. I even latched on to what they said and owned it at times. I am a little embarrassed to say that some of the ugly things that were said affected my emotional and mental health as well as my growth. I sometimes believed what they said more than I believed myself, or what I knew God said about me. I wasted a lot of time. Then I decided to grow, regardless of what anyone had to say about it. You don’t always make friends when you are attempting to grow but that’s okay. Not everyone will be ready for the grown-up you anyway. Growing “weeds out” the weighty people in your life that slow you down or may even stop you from growing and going to the next level in your life. Nothing that anyone has to say about you should keep you from doing what you love to do, being the whole and complete real you. Whatever you want to do, do it! Put in the work and you will accomplish that thing…for real!
As a young girl, I knew who and what I wanted to be. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother for sure. I wanted a successful career doing any of the many things that I love to do and be my own boss doing them. It was never my plan to become a millionaire; it was definitely my dream to be surrounded by love…lots of love! I am a very driven person so when I caught an interest in something, I pursued it, learned it, got a degree or certification and then wanted to do more. Fast forward to now and I have done most of those things. There was no straight path to any of them and I didn’t like the journey the whole time, but I know that it was necessary. And I did it! I continue in my pursuit. I appreciate the good and the bad that has happened and I am growing. I am a learner. The world is just one huge school for me. I want to be transparent with you and say that I have never really given my studies 100% of me, even my “life” studies. I give a lot, don’t get me wrong, but 100%… I’m working on it. I cannot imagine what I would have accomplished if I had truly applied myself. I will admit that I am not at all disappointed in the woman that I have become with the effort I did put in. Presently, I am so much better at being “present” in whatever I am doing and with who I am around. With all of the distractions in the world, that can be difficult. I realize that our experiences are limited, “days are numbered.” We never know when we will have our last conversations, holidays, or argument with someone we care for. I want to LIVE the experience, not look back at a picture and not remember if any words of wisdom were spoken, laughter or tears exchanged in the room while I was trying to get the right lighting for my selfie.
With anything that you say or decide to do, with each step, you will see a possibility of someone judging you, questioning your moves. Let them say what they want, you cannot let what they say affect you, especially not stop you. Stay strong and continue to move forward. You should pursue your passion and your opinion is the only one that counts. We can listen to others but not be offended or affected by what they have to say. You know what they say, “opinions are like assholes…everyone has got one.” (excuse the language, its a quote! So why do people judge us anyway? In my opinion…heeeheeeheeehee… I think that a lack of understanding is a huge part of why people judge. We live in a microwave world and not everyone fully listens to fully understand what is being said or the intention behind it. Hurry, hurry, hurry!! The world we live in. Everyone has somewhere to be, something else to do, and they rush and lay their own perspective, life experiences, and observations on what you share. We can look past that initial opinion and see that ignorance can be the culprit and know that it is not worth your time to get your feelings all wrapped up in their thoughts.
I handle people and their judgement of me with empathy…most of the time. Have not reached “Jesus” status just yet. When the time and patience allow, I try to explain what I am sharing more. If you are dealing with an unreasonable person, it may be a waste of time to explain anything. People that can handle everything others have to say and not be affected at all are some of the coolest people on this planet. I am inspired by them and hope to join that club one day. If you are not like them yet, just keep doing what you do, saying what you say and let the negative things roll right off of you. Keep being awesome, or at least reaching for it. Not everyone will fully understand you or your aspirations and that is okay, they don’t have to. One day, when you get to that place, doing whatever it is you have dreamed of, those that laid their unsolicited opinions and judgement on you then, will understand your hustle.
Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people that are committed to misunderstanding you…..
Don’t allow anyone’s words to slow you down or stop you from realizing your dreams. You are strong. You are determined. You are worth it! Keep pushing!