Lately I have had so much on my mind and so many things to do that I have been forgetting what day it is! They are all running into each other. I thought that Friday was Saturday just because it had a “Saturday” pace. I know most people probably understand what that means. Sometimes Tuesday really feels like Tuesday until a “Monday” thing happens and you questions what day it is. Okay, maybe I am the only one…. maybe I am ready for a week long vacation (soon!).
I will not deny that my mind can be all over the place at times. But I will say this, I still feel fortunate to have this day…and those! I am Blessed that I have days to forget and things to do. Every day that I wake is another day to see opportunity to change me, my mind, and my world. I refuse to just exist, just wake up and breath and let the wind blow where it may and take me with it…. not gonna happen! As much as I have to do, places to run to, appointments to catch, I will not complain or whine. I am just going to be grateful for the opportunity. It is all in my mind and my attitude. It is all in YOUR mind and attitude. You are alive and capable. You may not get it all done when you want to but with the right attitude, it is going to get done and you can stand back and look in appreciation of yourself and the fact that you did not quit. Quitting stinks! And you accomplish absolutely nothing if you don’t even try.
I try to check in with myself and my heart to make sure that what I want to do is getting done and getting done for the right reasons and with the right attitude. Who am I? This has been the question that I am occasionally scratching my head about lately. I have honestly lived my life for others and this answer can sometimes get lost in them. I want to change that, mostly for myself. My sons are growing up and one day, I will have an empty nest (although they are old enough now that they sometimes make me feel like I already have one) and who will I be then? How will I define me when they are out making their own way in the world?
Sometimes life can be or get hard. Sometimes we can feel like our lives are falling apart with us or loved ones falling ill or children driving us insane. Maybe the bills are piling up, experiencing bouts of depression or your marriage is failing. We may not feel like dying in those times, but maybe we are losing ourselves in taking care of everything and everyone else. In those times and before they come, we should really try to get to know ourselves so that we can understand what it is going to take for us to get or stay healthy while we are serving the ones that we love.
Do you really know who you are?
Honestly, this question was posed to me and it was scary. Could I really look into a mirror and answer that question without describing things that I do or who I am to others? When I thought about the question, I realized how important it is. The answer was going to affect every part of my life. When we understand who we are, it frees us from being ashamed, makes us confident and we will not settle for what someone else tries to tell us about who we are. Knowing who we truly are will free us up for really authentic and transparent relationships not just with others but with ourselves. I do not know about you but I have lied to myself plenty of times about how people really felt about me, how strong (even though I was behaving weak) I had been at times, how happy I may have been…and many other things. I decided a while ago to stop whining and lying to myself and show myself some love. It is a journey and I am learning more and more about me. I am doing it but I am definitely getting help with my journey. My story is way too long to put in a blog but there is something that I am doing that I can share that may help you….
- I became my own best friend. I spend time with me, compliment myself, “fight” for myself, care for me, all the while loving me unconditionally. I am working to become someone that I would look up to. This is still a process but we have to love others, that is true, but we have to love them without losing ourselves. We have to keep ourselves in mind when we are loving others. Especially as women because a lot of times I think we believe we have to sacrifice who we are and what we need to care for others. Another lie we tell ourselves!
I allowed the behavior of others sometimes cause me to act out! I mean out of character for anyone that REALLY knows me. I have been through a lot. And every kind of emotion has been felt in my life a thousand times over. But guess what? I am not my issues, I am not those experiences nor am I slave to them. And you are not to yours! They do not define me in the least. And I am not ashamed of one moment. They have all shaped me and made me absolutely beautiful and strong, for real! What really defines us is how we respond, react, and present ourselves to the world in those times. How are we going to treat others when we feel that they act unfavorably toward us? How are we going to treat ourselves through it all?
How we live out this life is all a choice. We have to make a decision, yes, but we also have to put feet to the choice. We have to be bold enough to go for it. Give ourselves permission to try and maybe even fail. SO what!!!! No one gets everything right the first time. Many people before us have failed their way to success. I would rather join that elite list than to never try anything because “what if it doesn’t work out?” …what if it does?!!!! We have to be careful about letting our feelings lead us by the nose and cause us to believe we are not capable, or drive us to quit. If you have nothing good to say about yourself, maybe you should see yourself as an unreliable source and stop trusting you and find others to love and support you while you are working on being better to yourself. We have to stop giving our power away to negativity, even if it comes from us. You are writing your story. That means you are the editor. You can change what and WHO you need to.