I was doing a little shopping in the grocery store and notice an interesting occurrence. There were a few biracial couples shopping, smiling, and loving on each other. I have nothing against this at all because my family is one big melting pot of color. What I did observe was their gentleness toward one another. The way that the man lovingly pushed the cart while his wife held on to him and them belly-laughing, gazing in each others eyes. I think about the numerous times that I have heard Black women express their anger about “their” men choosing Caucasian women to marry. As I watched and have witnessed firsthand, some of the treatment that “our” men receive from us is what causes them to explore other options. For instance, when we have a man that is “in between” jobs, sitting at home, how do we behave? DO we encourage him and make him want to excel; make him want to do better? Are we nagging him and breaking him down causing him to feel like he can never provide for his family? I do not believe that we are all the same. A woman that is her man’s number 1 fan, his cheerleader, the one who nudges him into his destiny, are not included in the bunch of women who are angry because they feel all of the GOOD men want Caucasian women. We have to look at how that man was raised too…what did his mom do to encourage him, to make him feel valuable? We, as moms, are the first women in this man’s life; the one that all women will be compared to and that is not always to the positive for us. Your son may be looking for a woman that is nothing like you because you never made him feel like he was important; like he could be or do anything he wanted to. We have to raise our boys to dream and if we are pass that, we have to encourage our men to dream again. If we are the woman that takes care of him but never cheers him on and makes him want to be the best man he can, we are not the one for him and eventually we will be blaming some other woman for doing what we didn’t “feel” like doing. Encourage your sons, your brothers, and your man to reach for the stars, one moment at a time. They love to be celebrated so do it!!!!! It doesn’t take anything from you, it will eventually add to you and YOU reap the benefits, not the next chick….
Categories: A Woman's Worth