Posted in Lifestyle

10 Health Benefits of Ginger That Have Made Me a Big Fan

Ginger is said to be one of the healthiest spices on the planet. Loaded with bioactive compounds and nutrients, it has very powerful benefits for your brain as well as your body.

Ginger is a flowering plant that finds its origin in China. It belongs to the Zingiberacesae family and it is related to turmeric and cardamon. The root of ginger is what we use for a spice.

Ginger has been used to help with digestion, reduce nausea and help fight the flu and common cold…and that’s just naming a few. It can be used fresh, dried, powered, as an oil or juice and is sometimes added to processed foods and cosmetics. It is also a very common ingredient in recipes.

Ginger contains Gingerol, which is a substance with powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. Here are some more benefits that you can enjoy when using ginger…

  1. Ginger can treat Nausea, especially morning sickness! It has a long history of being used for seasickness and pregnancy-related nausea (morning sickness). Ginger is safe to use when you pregnant, but be mindful and do not consume large amounts because it can raise the risk of miscarriage. Ginger has been used to relieve nausea and vomiting that happens after surgery and chemotherapy.
  2. Ginger may reduce muscle pain and soreness, exercise-induced muscle pain, that is. It does not always have an immediate impact but has been effective at reducing the day-to-day progression of muscle pain. These effects are more than likely mediated by the anti-inflammatory properties that ginger has.
  3. The anti-inflammatory properties can help with Osteoarthritis, which is a common health problem. It involves the degeneration of the joints in the body; this leads to joint pain and stiffness in the body. There was a study done that found that the combination of ginger, mastic, cinnamon, and sesame seed oil, can reduce the pain and stiffness in osteoarthritis patients when applied topically.
  4. It can help treat Chronic Indigestion. Chronic Indigestion happens when there is recurrent pain and/or discomfort in the upper part of the stomach and it delays the emptying of the stomach. Ginger has been shown to speed up the emptying of the stomach in people that have chronic indigestion.
  5. Using ginger powder may reduce menstrual pain! This has been a traditional use among women. Just taking one gram of the powder per day for the first three days of her menstrual cycle can help to manage the pain…even better than ibuprofen or mefenamic acid.
  6. May lower cholesterol levels. Having high LDL levels can have you at risk for heart disease and the foods we eat can have a strong influence on those numbers. A study done on 85 individuals with high cholesterol that were given 3 grams of ginger powder per day caused a significant reduction in most of their cholesterol markers.
  7. Ginger also contains a substance that may help prevent cancer. The anti-cancer properties are attributed to 6-gingerol, which is a substance found in large amounts in raw ginger. There are more studies being done to confirm the different forms of cancers and ginger’s effectiveness against them.
  8. Ginger may help improve brain function and protect against Alzheimer’s Disease. Oxidative stress and chronic inflammation can accelerate the aging process and they are believed to be among the key drivers of age-related cognitive decline. There are studies that suggest that the antioxidants and bioactive compounds in ginger can inhibit inflammatory responses that occur in the brain. There is also some evidence that ginger can enhance brain function directly for things like working memory and improving reaction time.
  9. The active ingredient in ginger, gingerol, can help fight infections. Ginger extract can inhibit the growth of many types of bacteria. It is very effective against oral bacteria linked to inflammation in the gums such as gingivitis and periodontitis. Studies show that ginger may also be effective against the RSV virus which is a common cause of respiratory infections.
  10. Ginger may also help to lower blood sugars and improve heart disease risk factors in patients with type 2 diabetes. This is a relatively new area of research … it has been found that ginger may have powerful anti-diabetic properties. In 2015, a study was done that showed after having 2 grams of ginger powder per day, the patients had lower fasting blood sugars…by 12%…It also improved HbA1c, leading to a 10% reduction over a period of 12 weeks.

You can buy fresh or powdered ginger in your local grocery and health food stores. Ginger is one of the very few “superfoods” that have really seemed to earn that term. I just started using it not too long ago and I have seen the benefits, especially from its anti-inflammatory properties. I believe it is a worth a try if we are on a journey to be our healthiest selves

Posted in Lifestyle

How I Gave Up Good For Great

“To be given the gift of life is extraordinary and the best thing we can do is live it as fabulously as we can.” -Alex Kingston

Most people will never actually experience true success. Why? Because they are unwilling to actually take over the position of CEO of their life. They allow others to control what happens and what doesn’t happen in their lives.

Why are so many of us unwilling to take risks, to fail in public, and to have to start over after falling down? Some are just not willing to give up what is good for something GREAT! Let’s just say, some just cannot see giving up their “normal” life.

Giving up your “normal” life is not gonna be easy or painless, if you choose to. If we are looking to have an extraordinary life, we are gonna have to trade in what we are comfortable with. The journey of growing up…evolving…succeeding is more than likely going to be painful at some point.

The more we evolve into better versions of ourselves, the more comforts we may have to give up. We are going to look at our lives and reconsider the company we keep, the food we eat, how we spend our time and the things and people that we entertain. Giving up some of these things may sting us a little but in the long run, they won’t be missed because you will be too busy enjoying the fruits of your hard work and sacrifice. Most people just are not willing to give up those things for something better. It takes work; everyone is not there for it.

I took the Financial Peace class that Dave Ramsey has out not too long ago and his quote I can still hear in my head, ” Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else.” This is a process but can be done. It is not easy but I have no regrets so far. I have had to start my financial freedom journey over many times but I am getting closer and closer to getting it right.

In order for any of us to be on the path to living an extraordinary life, we have to admit to our faults and what we need to give up. I had to finally admit some years ago that I did not have all of the tools I needed in order to “fix” the things in my life that needed to be fixed nor did I have the strength to leave places and people that were no good for my growth. I made the choice to go get counseling and it helped sooooo much! Over the past few years, I have been going through some tough emotional recovery from my past. There was a lot of emotional baggage that I was carrying around and I was making decisions in my present life based off of those hurts…a huge downward spiral! If I can be real with you now, my past was full of broken relationships, shame, guilt, and self-loathing and I did a good job covering it up with smiles and kindness toward everyone but myself. Going to counseling was one of the hardest struggles for me but it was one of my greatest decisions. I do still struggle , of course, but I can live an extraordinary life because I have dealt with my mess and stop letting it call the shots in my life.

I realized that if I wanted to live an extraordinary live, I would have to confront and resolve all of the things that kept me from doing it. We all have things that have happened in our past that may keep us from living our best life. Some of us deal with those things right away, others rather throw a blanket or band-aid over them and keep moving. That’s a sign of a “normal” life.

” Good is the enemy of great. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that become great. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.” – Jim Collins.

You have to give up something in order to accomplish something else. If we want that extraordinary life, we have to look at what we need to give up in the short-term in order to have the life we dream of. It may mean giving up your favorite foods, seeing certain people in your life less, leaving a job, declining an opportunity, or even letting go of watching porn to connect with people. Who knows? You know!

All great opportunities costs us “good” ones.

We can’t have a normal life and an extraordinary one at the same time. You can’t have both; you have to choose.

3 things that I think most of us have to give up to have an extraordinary life.

  1. Security and Certainty. We all love our safety nets and the security we feel when we are living our normal life. We love our steady paycheck, the unhappiness of that 10 year relationship, that 9-5…. We don’t have to live this way forever though. If we give up the mundane things, not saying life will be perfect, but you will have more control over your life and actions, especially at the costs of having others calling the shots in your life. Take a risk and start writing that book or blog, start that business, go on a date with him/her…go on an adventure.
  2. Fear of Judgement. It is funny how if you post, ” I got the job” as your Facebook status, you will get lots of likes. If you post, ” I finally started my own business.” you will not get nearly as much engagement. Why is that? Most people are afraid to see someone achieve the dreams that they never did. You may be doing something they have only talked or dreamed about but never made a move. When they do not support you, they are more than likely protecting themselves from acknowledging that failure. They may not understand why you chose to leave the comfort and safety of your normal life… to live in an inconsistent, wild, frightening life full of uncertainty…and freedom. They will judge you, criticize and condemn you…you have to ignore them and keep reaching! Separating ourselves from the herd can be scary but we have to believe that we can do what we say we can.
  3. Someone else’s definition of success. Everyone’s definition of success is not the same. To most people, it has a lot to do with lots of money, fame, and possessions. There are many of people who have all of those things and more and still have empty and miserable lives. We see it all of the time when a celebrity is lost to drugs and suicide. No one can define your success but you. You will never reach your success if you allow others to define it. Define your own success and achieve it.

So really it is up to us to figure out what we need to sacrifice in order to have an extraordinary life. There is no concrete way for things to happen. The only thing we do know is that we have to make room for extraordinary. That means we have to let go of “okay”, “good” and comfortable.

Our relationships, finances, health, passions and our purpose being elevated all depend on us and what we make room for. The cost is gonna be great (as in big) but it will certainly be worth it….

Posted in Lifestyle

10 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts For Anyone

Whether your Valentine is your husband, wife, best friend, pet, or child, you know that they love you for who you are without the gifts right? If you don’t have the time to stress over making a homemade gift, you can go to good ol’ Amazon to buy gifts that can still be delivered by Valentine’s Day. If you are Amazon Prime, your delivery is fast and at no extra cost.

If you like to keep things classic with the flowers, candy and balloons, or go for something unique and/or sentimental, Amazon has so many cool ways to say “I love you”! Here aere some of the things that I found…

  1. Essential Oil Diffuser Bracelet. These are really cool if your love is into essential oils and mood boosters. You just add two or three drops to the felt pad to release the tension and stress of the day. $17.99
  2. Talk, Flirt, Dare: Date night Box set. This seems like a fun game to play with a spouse, or potential mate. You just pull a card from one of the three decks and you are guaranteed to have some help keeping the spark (and the conversation) flowing. $24.95
  3. For the wanderlust in your life, I found The Bucket List: 1000 Adventures Big and Small. Give your traveler what they really need…some inspiration for their next adventure. There are hundreds of destinations in the U.S and beyond in this book for wandering pleasures. I am definitely someone who wants to see the world so I may grab this one for myself! $21.99
  4. Initial Heart Bar Necklace. For your jewelry lover, Amazon has a budget-friendly dainty little necklace. It a has a luxe look with an engraved initial and it is finished in a rose gold coating that is hard-to-rust. $13.99
  5. Unicorn Musical Jewelry Box. Every little princess needs a jewelry box! When this jewelry box is opened, your little lady will hear a sweet tune and watch the unicorn begin to twirl. She can fill with her favorite jewelry, trinket, notes and more. $13.95
  6. Dune Buggy Toy Building Kit. Keep your little man busy with this 177-piece kit from Lego. Your little one can build a two-in-one dune buggy, which also transforms into two off-road vehicles. It even comes with a built-in jack so that he can prop the car up for a quick tire change. $ 12.99
  7. Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager. I know you don’t mind giving your guy a back rub occasionally, but let’s admit it, there are kinks that we just can’t work out. Luckily for you, this massager has three different speeds to knead any tired, tight, or aching back and shoulder muscles that he may have. I have one and they truly work the knots out. $52.99
  8. A Beer Subscription! I was really surprised to see this but it is really cool for the person that is into craft beers. They gift you the option of subscribing to receiving high-quality craft beer either monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly. The subscription can be 12 or 24 bottles at a time straight to his/her door. $42.00
  9. Tile Pro. If you have someone in your life that loses things, namely keys alot, I am just going to say you are welcome! They no longer have to be frustrated about losing their keys, wallet, or phone. They can attach this little Bluetooth tracker to whatever easy-to-lose device they have. There is an App that will ring the tile if it is nearby which will help cut down on search time.$34.98
  10. Wooden Picture Frame. Gift-giving should not be a contest at this time but this sweet frame would definitely put you ahead of the game. You can definitely show your partner how you really feel with this frame. Put a sweet or silly picture in the frame to complete the gift. $17.99

Over $18.2 billion is spent on Valentine’s Day each year around the globe. Is it a celebration made up by some brilliant brand marketers or and actual holiday? Who really knows. Regardless of how we feel about it, it is responsible for an uptick in global business every February. A Simple card can go a long way and every gift does not have to be tangible. Experiences can have more value than a bouquet of flowers, especially if who you are buying for someone who has just about everything. Whatever you buy, make, or do for your loved ones this year, make sure it is from the heart and comes with a big hug.

Posted in Inspiration, Lifestyle

8 Thoughts of Why People Settle in Relationships

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Hardly anyone wants to admit that they settle. Whether we want to admit it or not, we sometimes find ourselves settling in life… in our jobs, in our friendships, and our romantic relationships. I believe when we find ourselves settling in our relationships, we are choosing quantity over quality, and honestly, we are really denying ourselves true happiness. It may not feel like something bad, but settling is damaging both people in the relationship because no one is living their truth. Whoever is settling is not allowing the other person in the relationship to receive who/what they really deserve. It seems unfair.

Many people in these relationships probably feel that it is better to just suck it up and keep moving inside of the relationship because they enjoy receiving from the relationship. They sit around hoping and wishing things will get better so they choose not to rock the boat. If someone is in a relationship like this, I know for sure that it is bringing them down emotionally and mentally and making them feel like crap inside. Been there, done that! We are not doing ourselves any favors by trying to keep a boat steady that is adding no value to us as a person and making us feel miserable inside.

Are you settling in your relationship?

Here are some reasons why someone would ….

  1. They think they don’t deserve better. Honestly, if you are not happy in your relationship, then you do deserve better! Periodt! I am not saying they have to make you happy because we are all responsible for our own happiness. The minute we give that power to someone else, we have completely lost control. We deserve the chance to be happy. If being in that person’s space takes that away from you in any form, you may need to reconsider the relationship.
  2. They feel the pressure to make it work. If you are in your 30s and 40s, a lot of people are married with children and making it work (or at least that is what they let us see). It just looks like it is something that you are supposed to be doing now. You may be feeling the pressure from family and friends to stay because “there is nothing out there on the dating scene”. Or, you may like the material happiness that comes along with the company.
  3. Denial! Most people that are settling in their relationships are really good at justifying every aspect of their relationship. They can paint a very pretty picture over the picture of their breaking heart and none will be the wiser… at least that is what they think.
  4. It is easier to stay than leave. To me, this is just lazy. Why bother to give yourself the space to create a life you can really enjoy? Why have the freedom to be YOU? Really? Lazy.
  5. They don’t wanna start over. I know that I hate when I give my time to something and it just doesn’t work out. I really don’t enjoy those experiences…and I have to admit that I am a terrible quitter! I really have to feel that I have exhausted all possibilities before I walk away from anything. I don’t do that as much as I used to. When people look at leaving a person and fears that it will mean starting all over again, they do not want to put in the time nor the energy to start fresh. They enjoy telling people that they have been in a relationship or married for 14 years or whatever…but if you have not been yourself and/or happy in it, you’re not bragging about much. The song Fake Love from Drake comes to mind 😒
  6. They are a creature of habit. Whaaaaaa?! I mean, we are all creatures of habit to an extent. This is not to say all of our habits are great ones though! We just like to keep things as they are …safety. There are people who are more addicted to habit than others though. They need to keep things in their place and that does spill over into their personal lives, making them settle because they are not interested in breaking habits…they would rather be broken inside.
  7. It involves too much to end it. People may stay if they feel like it will just be too much to figure out who keeps the house, the bank account, and the dog or whatever. They have family dinners and events to attend in the near future and bringing someone else would get them too many side eyes. We need to stop allowing fear to keep us from moving in the direction that will set our soul free. There are other apartments and banks, hell, even more dogs..or shared custody with the dog if it means that much to you. And I will say this, we cannot always be scared to let things go thinking that we will just be empty. When we let things go, we can be making room for bigger and better…have Faith!!
  8. They don’t wanna be alone. This seems to be a huge one to me. When you have been with someone for a while, the thought of being out in the dating world again is probably a scary one. That fear is getting in the way of your priority…YOU! Taking care of you and your heart should be of the utmost importance. If this person is not serving good to your soul and adding value to you and you stay, you are telling yourself that you are not a priority and your quality of life is not important.

Start checking in with yourself often. See how you are feeling about your job, your friendships and your romantic relationship. Be honest with yourself. Show yourself some love by making the bold move to prove that you deserve all of the happiness in the world…by all means necessary (within reason, of course)

Time to clean house!

Posted in Lifestyle

How To Start Owning Your Decisions

decision2I know that I do not speak for myself when I say that I was truly ill-equipped to make my own decisions as a young woman. From parents not allowing us to make small decisions as children to our friends and family imposing their personal opinions and desires on us as we grow into adulthood and beyond. There are different reasons for us all…reasons that we just did not get enough practice making our own decisions.

As we continue to grow, the sources of doubt may change. Does anyone have a mother-in-law that questions the decisions that you make when raising your children? Maybe it happens in your work environment because it doesn’t foster or support your talent. Most of us really want to feel so confident in our decisions that even when there is an opinion contrary to our own, we find the strength to keep moving ahead. Is this even possible? YES!

I have been through a lot and have had to live with the decisions of others on my life for decision1many years. I just didn’t know any better. We always think that people have our best interest at heart when the truth is, they have THEIR best interest at heart, not yours. “If it were me….” is how they are thinking when they are telling you what you should do. Guess what? YOU are not them! Only you can make decisions for you. I am definitely someone who still struggles with this…but much more rarely than my younger years. This is all part of some things that I am working on in year 46 (yes I said it!) Although it can be hard at times, in the end, we will grow and learn and cope better with decisions that we have made on our own. You can’t blame anyone if you pulled the trigger right?

So why do we struggle with decision-making?

  • Care what others think about what we do and say
  • Feelings of guilt and shame
  • Lack of self-love. When we are here, it is hard to trust ourselves or feel secure in what we do decide for ourselves.

 

Please understand that guilt is a healthy emotion because it does help us with the changes we do need to consider in our lives. Now when turning guilt into a sign that we are incapable or unworthy, then it becomes shame…Shame is destructive for us. THAT, we need to rid ourselves of for real. We also need to free ourselves from being people decisions3pleasers! We will never get where we want to go if we are concerned with how someone else is gonna feel about it. More than likely, they are not paying attention to how you feel when they make moves for their own lives. We need to deliver ourselves from caring how others feel and start to feel and listen to our bodies and minds. Tune in to what we desire and if we are called to do it, we need to move on that! We need to get to know ourselves, what we love and what we can do without. We need to do things that we love, be around people that love and support how we treat ourselves and have the desire to treat us well. We need to trust ourselves in our own hands. Why is it that we speak kindly to others and support their dreams but we turn our back on our own dreams and speak unkind words to ourselves? What the heck is wrong with us?!! We need to spend time building ourselves up while we are cheering everyone else on…periodtttttttttt

For most of my life, I knew what I wanted. I lost confidence in myself because I was always asking people for advice…I can’t even tell you why. I would ignore my gut feelings and take the advice of people who hardly even knew me, let alone my heart and intentions.

“The vast majority of advice you’ll receive comes from a place of love. But ultimately we have to make our own choice based on what’s best for us. You’ll never make a decision 100% of people will accept as a great decision. That’s ok. Don’t let people who don’t decisions5matter too much, matter too much.” -Wes Moore.

We need to stop taking surveys before we make moves in our own lives. Mind our own business!

Now many of us play the victim like we did in childhood. We resort to being passive about what we want and we play the blame game when things don’t work out the way we envisioned it.  Most of us learned at a young age how to play the victim. We were raised in families that acted from fear and it crippled us when it came to trusting ourselves to do what was right for us. People that live in victim mode always pity the hand that they were dealt and focus on how people have mistreated them. They feel sorry for themselves even when things are not going so bad.

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When they look at vulnerability, they do not see it as an offense to be open to learning and growing and success, they see it as dangerous and weak and go on the defense

Playing the victim will undermine your joy and success with self-destructive behavior. We have to choose to take responsibility and create a life that we will truly enjoy.

“If we tell our story in a way that disempowers us we won’t know that we matter even in the midst of the story.”- Iyanla Vanzant

We need to use good judgment while making decisions for our lives and we are more than capable of doing it without the help of others. We choose who or what we believe…even when we listen and do what someone tells us, we are choosing to listen and obey. We need to examine what we hear and weigh it against our own sense of truth…and if you pray…pray about it! Do what feels right after you give it some thought, even if it goes against what someone told you to do. You’re allowed to create your own path without apologies.

If I may say this…We are responsible for who we are regardless of how we were raised. We have to know this and not continue to blame our past for what we are doing 30 years later in the present.

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Posted in Lifestyle

You Are Not Broken!

notbroken1For many years, I really spent a lot of time doubting myself. Always wishing that I had a different body or looked different, had a better financial situation or a different life.  It took me a moment but I did realize that I needed to accept myself, the way I was…right then.

We have to learn to acknowledge who we are…now…and accept that person…today…

Why do spend so much time and energy fighting the truth? We do it consciously and subconsciously. Why are we always wanting to be someone else, do something that someone else is doing, wanting to be a different person, look a different way, or carrying ourselves a different way? We really need to get to the point where we accept who we are.  There is a quote by Kurt Cobain, “wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”

I listen to a lot of podcasts, read books, blogs, and all of that… We can do that all day! We can repost all the inspirational quotes and memes but that just is not going to make up for that lack of self-acceptance that we may have. IF we want to grow…we have to knowIMG_E1086 where we are now and accept ourselves.

So where can we start?

First of all…YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!

You cannot improve on what you have not accepted. Know that you are not broken. Have faith in this…Live by this!

We all have things that we do not like about ourselves. We have flaws and insecurities and hiccups happen in our lives. That does not mean that something is wrong with us. Even with all of our flaws and mishaps, we are enough! We have a purpose and can continue to grow into a better person.

Wanting to improve yourself is proof that you have power. Setting goals, wanting bigger and better, being inspired to want more….all motivating but we also have to accept who we are and appreciate where we are NOW and allow that to be the foundation for where we are headed. Thinking about our brokenness, whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, etc, is never going to help you grow into the person you really want to be.

notbroken2Again…YOU ARE NOT BROKEN!

We can look at the things in our lives that we believe are not where they should be and want to make them better. That is ok. I have learned to stop ignoring the things that I don’t like about myself. I am working on acknowledging and accepting them, maybe even love them. Many try to hide or fix whatever we feel is flawed so that no one notices. I remember how stressful that was for me! What a heavy load to carry.  And for what?!

Eventually, you are gonna have to take the makeup off, remove the shapewear, or come clean about what you have experienced in your life. We are gonna have to admit it (whatever that is) and think about how much better you are going to feel once you do. Think about the cleansing…the weight lifted! That is what happens when you stop ignoring what you don’t like about yourself. Nothing wrong with dressing up and accentuating to look your best. I am saying that you should still love the person you are underneath all of the adornment.

So at the end of the year, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to change about myself. Not a resolution, just self-evaluating and looking to improve. I have a few times in the year that I do this; another day is my birthday. I look at where I am and think about where I wanna go next. Some of the things I wrote were…I am not confident, I need to work on this belly, I am not where I wanna be in my blogging…etc…That was me, putting my cards on the table, owning my thoughts…then I threw it away! Why, because I can accept DSC_2694where I am and work toward improving what I want to. I know it sounds silly to make the list but it was therapeutic for me. I also write down what I DO like about myself so that it doesn’t feel like a negative activity. Seeing it all on paper made it more real and helped me to accept what I love and what I do not like. I love my heart toward others, that I am generous, curious, motivated and empathetic….those things matter to me just as much as what I do not care for about myself. After all, it is the good and the bad (or our perception of good and bad) that makes us who we are right?

Take some time to get real with yourself. Confirm that you are that b*tch…flaws and all!

I am not always the best mom, friend, coworker…I am shy at times, not always confident, hardly ever bold, awkward, nerdy, and I don’t always like the way I look. BUT I am also a super caring, energetic, funny, curious, empathetic, powerful and kind woman and I own it ALL.

I am that b*tch! I am she…right now! Today! I am gonna own that ish…. (two snaps in a circle- I just aged myself right?)  I am not gonna ignore my flaws or hope that no one else sees them.

notbrokenJust thinking about it makes me feel stronger and frees me from the judgment of others and myself. I’m gonna move through my days with confidence and self-assurance. This girl is gonna stop judging herself and give my back to others when they attempt to pass judgment on me (your poo stinks too -shrugs).

We are in control of our thoughts and how we judge ourselves so watch what you say!

 

Own all of who you are…the good and not so good. Improve what you can and accept what is just part of who you are. You are THAT b*tch and you are enough and not broken. You are YOU! Own that and grow into who you are capable of becoming…

 

 

 

Posted in Lifestyle

Time to Glo UP!

glowupWe encounter people every day. Some of these people are in our lives for a lifetime and others for a brief experience. Reasons and seasons…and when we see and learn the difference, that becomes part of our “glow up”.

When you have your experience with people and find that someone is “not right for you” and move accordingly, you are officially having a “glow up” moment. I have come to a point where if I just don’t vibe with someone and just recognize that they are not my person, I just step away and move forward. Good riddance to bad rubbish as the English say. When we make the decision to stop trying to impress others and also to stop forcing relationships, we win…we are delivered from that stress. Plain and simple.

We need to see that there are people who are right for us and others that are not,glowup3 PERIODT!

Realize that the right people, the ones that truly belong in your life for the duration are out there. Until you find those persons, do not settle. You really don’t have to.

We should live in confidence that we never have to settle just so that we are not alone. Ok, I will say this again, you do not have to settle for anyone just to not feel lonely. You can say goodbye to anyone that does not add to who you are and do it respectfully. No hard feelings at all…you are just not “my person”.

Sometimes we are lead to the wrong people and unhealthy relationships…we can thank our ego and impatience for that. They make us hang out with people that add no value to us and are uninspiring. You know that our ego wants everyone to like us and our impatience makes us want people in our lives right now whether wrong or right so that we don’t feel alone and/or so that we have what we think all of our friends have.

glowup4We have to stop being scared to let go of relationships that are clearly going nowhere. The ones that are not what we really want nor deserve…and I am not just talking about romantic relationships. I mean all of the “ships” you have going on in your life. Let’s let go of the relationships that do not make sense and make room for the ones that will. I am clearing a path for the people who will be “my people” and letting go of the spectators.

Moving on!

I am going to be nice about my departure from those that no longer serve good in my life, I am. I am not ghosting anyone or acting standoffish. I am just going to create boundaries that work for me.

Recognizing that someone is not for us and they do not have to be in our lives and we do not have to be in theirs can be a good thing. A lot of us hold on to things and people for fear that we may not have any other options later on. We can learn to let go and not feel glowup2bad..this can empower us not to get hung up on just having someone in our lives…an ex…a bad friend…a selfish coworker…a greedy relative…whomever. We don’t have to overthink on why a date went wrong or worrying about impressing others so you can join their friendship circle. We do not have to think about being anyone other than ourselves in order to have people like us. For real!

Not everyone will be your person and guess what? They do not have to be!

This year is here and it is time to respect myself, establish boundaries and create true, deep, lasting relationships with people that are meant to do this journey with me and you should do the same. We need people in our lives that we do not have to explain ourselves to, especially our nos. We need people who do not stand in the way of what we want and be honest when it seems it may cause us harm,  who encourage us, who bring out the best in us…the ones who are not impressed by the same things that everyone else is, the real ones that will call you out on your BS and love you through it.

IMG_1110This coming year, I hope to discover the people who are my people. I am not going to be afraid to let go of the ones that do not serve good to my soul and/or add value to me. Bye to the people that are not my people….Goodbye! That means checking my ego and curbing my impatience and remembering what I want and need in this life.

Life is so beautiful and the people in it are too so I want to meet as many people as I can. I want to hang out, network, talk to as many people as I can, go to restaurants, parks, malls, and farmer’s markets. Definitely not going to shut myself off to the world. I am just gonna be aware of the people who may be in my life for a reason or a lifetime. I won’t hold on to people who have served their time and brought the lessons that they needed to bring. I am going to get out there and live…but learn to let the right people in and say goodbye to the ones who need to go.

I have let people go in the past…plenty! I have learned so much from the experiences that glowup1I had while they were in my life and I regret none of them. Those experiences and people helped me grow into who I am today and I am forever grateful. I believe that I am more centered because of them. They weren’t my people but I am definitely better for having them in my life for a season.

Now on to making this year my best year yet…

Happy New year to you!